Pregnancy Info HOME

Annyc, iam so sorry about your loss. I have had two miscarriages and my first was a missed miscarriage. I was 9 weeks when i lost it but found out when i was 12 weeks. I too seen legs, feet, hands and arms. You will get nasty comments off people, i have had people say "you are lucky you lost it now as it wasnt anything at 9 weeks". And that killed me inside. Noone will know how it feels to loss a unborn child unless they have been through it. The next step, i can not answer as everyone deals with a loss differently but i did find it easier when the bleeding stoped as the miscarriage was over. Then it hurts inside and you will cry when you think and talk about it for a while and as time goes on you will cry every now and then but not as often as you do now. My last loss was in feb this year and i am at the point now where i get jealous every time i see a pregnant lady, i think to myself well i would have been as big as her, ect ect. My sister is due 1 week after i was. when i 1st found out i was pregnant then she found out she was, she said that people will be more happy for her as this will be her 1st child then 3 days later i started to bleed. I have not spoken to her proplery since as what she said realy killed me. You just have to be strong and let what other people say just ride over your head, i know its not that easy but you are going to get comments it no matter what. The pain will get easier as time goes on and please i know it hurts, but just dont take to heart what people say to you, your baby knew that you and your hubby loved him/her and thats all that counts. I have herd of ladies on here buying a birth stone of the baby birth month, some have also named the baby, maybe that will help as it may help with closure. I am sorry thats all the input i have and i wish i could give you more. God bless you love.......kristie

Hi annyc I am sorry for your loss...I too had a mc I was around 8wks and right after I had it my best friend found out she was pregnant she had not been trying but my husband and I were we had told our family as well it was very hard but you can try again when you feel up to it give yourself time to heal you will it may take some time but you will and just to give you some hope my story has a happy ending on 1/11/06 i had a very healthy baby boy and he is doing great it does not replace the baby I lost but it does seem to make it alot easier to deal with so hang in there hon and you will have another chance just don't let this consume you pick yourself up and try again!!

Annyc, I'm so so sorry. I've been there -twice. And it is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. You feel alone. You feel like you lost your hopes and your dreams, and you ach for you baby that you will never know...all of that is normal. Going through a m/c is so hard but it does get better. There isn't much you can do to feel better; it just takes time. Allow yourself to grieve and realize that to you this will always be your baby and you will always love it. Loosing it will probably be with you forever (I know it will be for me) and you will have good and bad days, but slowly your good days will become more frequent than your bad, and eventually you will feel like yourself. Try to hang in there and if you find that after a few weeks you’re still having a really hard time dealing talk to a counselor. It was your child you lost and it is normal to grieve for it. I will pray for you, and here is some HUGS ~Sarah

Annyc; I am so very very sorry for the loss of your beautiful little one. I have also had 2 m/c's this year, and so totally empathise with the pain and emotional fallout that you are suffering. I know it's hard to be positive in the early days after a miscarriage, but like SaraH said ealier; things do get better with time. I will always feel that 2 little pieces of my heart are missing, but time is kind to the soul. I feel drawn to your situation, because like you I was also due (with both my babies) at very similar times to close friends and family - the timing all seemed perfect; but it wasn't meant to be. This was probably the most difficult aspects of my m/c's to deal with (apart from the actual loos of my babies) - the fact that I had to deal with other pregnant friends and family on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes I was in danger of becoming swamped by my own bitterness and regret. So there came a point where I knew I had come to a cross-roads - where I could choose to stay down and out, or I could chose the difficult path of trying to see the positives in my life, and focus on our future family. It was definitely difficult, but 5 months down the track, I am so glad I chose the latter. In the beginning I struggled everyday, then it was every second day, then gradually I found I would only have one 'sad' spot in a week.......and now I can honestly say that although I deeply regret losing my babies and will never ever forget them....that I have come to terms emotionally with my miscarriages, and feel that I am ready to take on the universe again! Of course I don't expect never to have sad days again - it's ok to grieve all our lives if we need to. It's just how we choose to channel that grief that makes the difference. After I lost my first baby in January, I went down to a private spot by the harbour; I took some white lillies and cried my heart out. I told my baby that it was ok for them to go, that I would always be their mumma and I would never forget them. When I was ready, I threw the lillies into the water and watched them float away. It might sounds trite, but such a simple thing gave me a small element of closure - was one small step toward moving on. So perhaps it might be a good idea for you to find some way of saying goodbye to your little one. My heart really goes out to you Annyc; your post really brought back all the memories of those terrible early days when it seems the sun will never shine again. But it does, and there are so many of us here to help you in the meantime. It's ok to be sad. I hope that you find some peace soon; I'll be thinking of you {{HUGS}} xo juju