Pregnancy Info HOME

Does your mom live with you? Or does she just constantly visit? If I were you, I would let your brothers know how much you are struggling, and seek their help in caring for your mother. It is their responsibility as much as yours to take care of her, and given your current situation, you obviously need to let go of some of the responsibility to take care of your kids, your husband, and yourself. If you just have trouble letting go, maybe it would help to meet with a counselor. Congrats on the new baby and good luck!

I'd recommend being honest with your mom, obviously in a very sympathetic (empathetic?) and loving way. But you have to let her know how you feel. You cannot let this ruin your relationship with your husband, your child, and your own sanity. It may help to seek professional help to figure out how to broach the topic with her. Best of luck!

This is a really tough situation. I feel for you, though I have never been there myself.

I also recommend talking to your brothers. Hopefully they will try to help out more. Also, I would talk to your mother. She can still feel important and a big part of the family without monopolizing all of your time. Perhaps start small. Explain to her the importance of having quiet time at your house for napping/cleaning/resting for a set time each day. Explain that during that time there are no visitors or phone calls. Let her see how this will help you to have your first born on a schedule when the new arrival comes. And let her know that it is important to you that it be that way because you are feeling strained. Once she adjusts to that, maybe you can add in outings etc.

I'm wondering if your mother needs assistance? Not sure where you live, but there may be services available to help her with household chores etc to relieve you of the burden. Usually these people are not well received at first, but end up being friends as well as service providers. They are an ear to listen as well.

I hope it gets better for you.

I am with the others - your mom is needing companionship - would it be possible to have someone come be with her - like a sitter - who could help her with light duties, etc...?

I agree with all of the above! Brothers can be a big help, especially if they know you are struggling and need help. Men like to feel needed, as do we! As for your mom, tell her gently that you are feeling overwhelmed and need some quiet time. If she lives alone, you can call the Agency on Aging in your area for advice and resource recommendations. Take the time for yourself seriously. Turn off your phone and don't answer the door. Good luck to you!