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I am going to vent..no one has to read this or reply or anything. It will be long! So, I am 16 weeks and considered high risk...thankfully, everything is going great with the pregnancy and the baby. I, once again, am having major problems with my husbands mom. We become close and things are great and then something happens and all chaos breaks loose. I just dont know what to do anymore. I am at my wits end. This has started since my husband and I became engaged over 5 years ago. There have been several times that we have went 4, 5, 6 months without speaking to his family. There is alot of stress between my husband and her for things that happened before we even started dating. His mother constantly tells me and often tells dh she doesnt feel like he cares about her. She has had several problems in the past with people and hre being hurt and for some reason she carrys this in every other relationship in her life. This time the fight errupted over something as silly as an online blog..she took something as being about her when in fact it was over something totally not related to her. When she asked me about it, she also asked why I have been mad at her and what she has done to me. This is all in email, I mind u. I have made a "rule" for us that we are not to email eachother anymore bc often things get taken out of context and it starts a big argument as well. Anyways, I texted her (at this point in our relationship, we do better to have as little contact as possible). and told her that I wasnt mad and my comment was nothing about her. She blew up and then I blew up. She called my husband( who has always sided with me bc, simpley put, he knows how she is) and he refused to answer her call, she then left a message blaming everything on me and saying horrible things about me about our past arguments and etc. He didnt call back until yesterday when she texted him this long msg about the same things. He always has read our emails, texts, etc..I do not keep those things from him bc she has lied in the past to other family members which resulted in them calling, coming over and attacking us. I basically forced him to call yesterday adn they bickered back and forth for about an hr. In which time she all but admitted to hacking into one of my online profile accounts, which we had suspected she had done about a month ago. I think what has hurt the most in this situation is that when I became pregnant she emailed me to let me know that no one in her family expects to have anythin to do with our baby. Of course that hurt my feeling, but didnt really surprise me other than the fact that it came from no where. After a day of emails back and forth, I thought I convinced her that it was silly for her to think that bc dh and I wanted her in our childs life. I did tell her, as did dh, that since I have been preg before and lost it and was high risk this time there would be no arguing or stress between the two of us. She is the biggest source of stress in my life. I have had 3 panic attacks in the past year and all of those have happened while her and I were fighting. I remind her all the time about our "no stress" rule when we can tell she is trying to get a rise out of me. This time around, she didnt even care. She kept on. That hurt my feelings bc I just felt like she couldnt not think abotu herself long enough to think about me or her grandchild. I do feel protectice of this baby bc before we were married, she had an issue with my being catholic. They are also Christians and what ended up being the problem was that if our children were raised catholic. So, after reminding her that our kids would be raised how we wanted, she chimed in that SHE is the childrens grandparent and has just as much right to our kids as we do! I was floored..she denies saying that now, but we remember it well. Another thing that hurt my feelings is that she has been through a m/c before, where my Mom hasnt had to experience that. So, that is something we have had in common. She knew about my previous lost and when I found out I was pregnant this time, my numbers werent doubling well so we were preparing for anohter m/c. She happened to call that night we found this out and she kept asking what was wrong with me bc I had been crying. I finally caved and started bawling telling her what was going on. She was very, supportive. After things were okay and we decided to tell my parents I told her that I hated they werent going to have some neat story to tell of how they found out about their first grandbaby. She told me to not even worry about that bc she was just so honored I confided in her with this and maybe next time we could think of some big way to tell them. She was so excited! Well, yesterday, she told my husband it ws so rude that they just found out over the phone when my parents were told in such a fun way. That took me aback! She mentioned me telling her to not ever buy anything for her child..which is not true. She bought a team outfit, which was for a team that dbil loved not dh but I didnt say anything abotu that, and I simply asked her to wait to buy things until I was a littel further bc I was a MESS until I was out of the second tri. She said she understood and reassured me everything was fine..well, yesterday she sang another sob story to my husband. He was confused and of course asked me about it bc he couldnt remember and I was shocked! In the heat of our arguing yesterday, I told her that I was finished trying to ever work things out with her and that in the end she was going to be the one to miss out...but then after all, she already expected that from the beginning. I shouldnt have said but that I snapped. She later told my husband I was very selfish for that and I felt a little bad. I never planned on keeping my child from her.I just see how her brothers wife is treated. MIL's parents and MIL always talked very badly about her in front of her kids..and that drove me crazy. I couldnt stand that. GMIL has a problem with dh's cousins chosing anything to do with their own mother over her..including food, nice comments, hugs..it is so rude and just vile.I coudlnt stand it yesterday afternoon..I couldnt get myself to stop sobbing just being so tired of all this mess with her. Finally, dh told me that he never expected me to have anything to do with his family again if I didnt want too and that there was no guarantee that they would have much to do with our baby. He is just as fed up as I am. I just hate it that if I choose to not have contact with his mom, that includes his ENTIRE family for the most part. I do not understand how she can be so controlling as to decide such a thing for her loved ones. She even went as far as deleting my from one of my FIL's accounts yesterday..how silly!!! Anyways, I think I am done ranting and raving...lol. I have done several things I shouldnt have and I have always apologized for these things!