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Wendee- as for what you wrote in the post you started. Yes this is a support forum. But how can you expect people to support such awfull feelings you have towards your husbands kids. These are innocent children who are not at fault for anything that your husband and his ex did. This was before you. By the way, yes it is better to be married before you have kids. Just because people have kids without being married does not make them bad people. You should take advantage of one of your next sessions with your therapist and talk about this issue. That will make your husband have to open up about this and it will good for you to hear what she/he has to say about your feelings. That is the most qualified person to help you. But don't expect people to be supportive of your feelings when you seem to hate your husbands innocent kids, just because they are not yours. That's just wrong.

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wendee- I just read what you wrote. You think that his ex should have aborted his 2 kids. That is the cruelest thing I've ever heard anyone say. Do you have a heart. You are talking to people who want kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you are saying that she should have aborted your husbands kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with you!!!!!! What kind of monster are you. To us kids are blessings. I hope your husband knows that you wish that for his kids. And you don't know why he doesn't want kids with you.

I wonder what kind of person would support someone who wishes their spouses children would have been aborted. How do you live with yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She is really a slefish , cruel, jealous individual and she doesnt deserve this man to give her a child.

Yeah, I am talking to people who WANT kids and half of them from what I read already had abortions! Ironic isn't it! All I want is a family of my OWN. I don't want to share my husband with some two bit whore and her kids.
Yes, I have a heart, but it is not listening to you or anybody else from this place anymore. I thought that venting would help me deal with this but it has only made me more angry. Maybe I should have not been so truthful with my feelings, but I thought that this was a place that wouldn't judge me. I guess I was wrong!\
Just to let you know, my husband chased me for years eventhough he knew how I felt about him having kids! So I can't be that bad.
Good luck to all of you and your new found Saint Hood! I am out

Wendee the only thing that will help you is a mental evaluation....THEY ARE HIS BLOOD regardless of how you feel of his ex...your so jealoous is almost funny. I suggest you get some mental help instead of seeking it on a forum...Gte a qualified Dr..

So now we're saints because we don't wish kids death, OK PSYCHO. To wish kids who are alive and well to have been aborted is wishing they were dead. You are evil.

Hi All... did a post by Wendee get removed? I don't see anything here about her wishing the ex had aborted the 2 children. I was wondering if something got removed off the site? In any case, I don't condone that either and could never wish that on my stepson. I can't imagine life without him. That said though, I can understand how painful it is to not share that bond with your husband and how easy it is to be angry and jealous of the ex. Again, in no way do I agree with thoughts at that level, and Wendee, though you have every right to your feelings, please contact a friend or someone you can vent to. It really does help to talk to someone, anyone. I sense your anger has been pent up for some time so it has festered to this level. I wanted to offer you another site you may find some solace at: http://www.childlessstepmoms.org/ This site deals directly with not only being childless but also with being a childless step-mom. Maybe you can reach out to someone there that can help. Good luck and please try to reign in your anger and direct it in the right place. And for now, love the children you have as they are innocent by-standers. They will never be a substitute, believe me, I know this first hand, but try to take some pleasure in them. It'll help ease your pain. Take care.

Hi Wendee, I hope you get this message. Please do not abandon this forum. I have read your post several times and see nothing wrong with what you have written. I didn't conclude that you implied any kind of abortion or that you hated his children. The problem is because of him, he changed his mind, plain and simple. The responses you have received so far are the result of this sensitive issue, being so emotional for many here. Most of the women writing on this forum are frustrated with their own situations. Tradition perhaps, but in most marriages it is usually the husband makes the decisions on important issues. Of course the wife always has a say and will sometimes have decisions go her way, but generally the husband has the final word. Men are naturally more aggressive and therefore more likely to push for things their way. The other thing to consider too is that they usually are the bread winners in the marriage which reinforces their power. If there are women who can afford to raise a child on their own, chances are they not posting on this forum? If the gentle persuasion hasn't worked on him, then it may be time to take stronger action. You may have to deliver some sort of ultimatum. You could also tell him that you are no longer going to be responsible for birth control? Make him aware how little time you have biologically to make a baby and remind him of his premarital promise. Please keep the forum members posted on your progress, they wish you happiness and success........Ron

Hi Ron.. glad to hear from you. I do hope that Wendee gets your post as well as mine. I didn't read into her post what the retorts replied either but that is why I was wondering if something had been removed. Just wanted to take a moment to comment on your question about women who can afford children on their own not being on this post. Wanted to let you know, that's actually very much not the case. I bring in a six figure salary annually. I could certainly afford to raise a child on my own, I'd prefer not to though. Many women do opt for this route but many of us want it all, especially when already in a wonderful relationship. So, just thought I'd pass that little tidbit along for you. : ) Hoping all is going well with you and your wife. How is the weightloss plan coming along? Your timeline is not far off if I remember correctly. Keep us posted! : )

Regarding Wendee- Even though you guys didn't see it she did say that her husbands ex should have aborted his 2 children like she did 4 other times.

Ron this is what she wrote exactly ...................Wendee | Date: May 3, 2006, 12:36
Answer: You people don't walk in my shoes. You don't understand where I come from. You think that dealing with 2 kids that are not yours is so easy. Maybe she should had had 2 more abortions like the 4 other ones that she had. I never wanted his kids in my life, he knew that before I married him! I thought that this was supposed to be a support forum, not a bashing one. If you have anything else to say, don't bother. I won't be listening. You all probably think it is ok to have children out of marriage. You know, you don't only ruin the kids life, you also ruin the life of the person who would like to share something special with the father!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually if you really want to know why we think she is soo terrible you should go to the "I want a baby, he doesn't! " post she started right under this one on the list. She said a lot of terrible things about his kids just because they are not hers.

Wow... ouch!! That is extremely harsh to say and feel about innocent children. I figured, given the responses, that I must have missed some of Wendee's postings along the way. That is ALOT of pent up rage on her part to the point of being scary. Wendee, if you are still out there, please do talk to someone and soon!

Hi Longing, I didn't see it either, if it did exisist at all. I never considered, that she may have had a posting removed. I created my response based on what was available to read. As far as my own situation, we are still trying, but for only in the time that remains. I am curious though, is the desire for a second baby greater than for the first ? I have read some peoples posts here and other places, that made me wonder about that. As far as the statement about women being able to afford a baby on their own I was generalizing. Realistically nobody wants to raise one on it their own, unless they have to. If they can afford it however, it at least gives them an option that others may not have.

Hi , Emma2 Thanks for sharing that, I was puzzled by the strong reaction to her post, because I didn't see what created it. Thanks for enlightening me : - )