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just come words of wisdom would help alot..

My sympathy for your predicament! Yes, I agree that it it is best for a child to have two adults in its life. How, with whom, and when we beget and raise our children counts among the most important decisions in life. The regrets if you do not have this one depend on the strength of your personal convictions. Would it help if you look at it with your eyes at 30 years of age? In one scenario you might have kids 4 and 8, all three of you struggling to make ends meet. The other scenario has you with one 4 year old, married, educated, settled and successful. Courage, and good luck!

You are in a very hard situation. I'd love to talk with you more and be able to help you, privately by email if you are willing. You can contact me at twofrogsinapail at ya hoo dot com. I'm so here for you, darlin', and I think I could really be of help to you.

i had my first daughter when i was 15.. it "looked" really bad to outside ppl i know but i just knew inside that i would not be able to bring myself to get rid of her. I REGRET the littlest thought of that because i have a beautiful 4 almost 5 year old little girl that i raised on my own and i am truly blessed to have her in my life. The single part is really hard on ur emotions.. more so when your pregnant and alone and also when things get really tuff and you wish you would have that other half to help but let me tell you... it all pays off in the end because no matter what you have a little you always there to snuggle and love you :) no matter what! Now, i am 6 months preg. never thought this would happen but ended up ALONE AGAINNNN i get really down and out sometimes cuz i really wanted to be marryed when i have my next kid but things dont always go as planed and you have to stay strong!! im 19 almost 20 now and im here trying to keep my head up too so if your a stong willed person im sure everything will be fine for you...

thank u very much ! you have helped more then u would think :)

and i give u alot of credit girl.. not alot of people could be as strong as u seem to be.. keep up the good work :)

I understand how you feel. I also became pregnant from a one night stand. I was 27, had no job, and had recently moved in to my dads one bedroom apartment, sleeping in the living room. Things did not look good. I told the father and he really didn't have a reaction and since I hardly knew him I didn't have an emotional connection to him and I made a decision to keep the baby and not be with him. I too was upset over the idea of doing it alone and my child not having a father. I never contemplated an abortion or adoption because I think having the guilt of " what if " would have been harder than actually raising a child.A child eventually gets older and independent, where as the " what if " stays with you the rest of your life. That I could not deal with. So when my son was 6 weeks old I enrolled in a 2 year degree program, made my sacrifices and now my son is 3 years old, I have a great paying job, and I am so totally in love with my son that I couldn't imagine life without him. I actually enjoyed being single because that meant I didn't have to share him with anyone. I am a very strong willed, independent person to begin with, so I never was stressed out or thought I couldn't handle it. The love between a child and it's mother is something that words can't describe. Obviously I'm rooting for you to keep your baby. Remember, just because the childs father doesn't want to be a part of it's life, does NOT excuse him from his obligations to child support. If you choose to keep yoru baby, he has no choice in the matter. And don't be ashamed if you need help from the government, that's what it's there for. I was on medicaid and food stamps to help me thru college, then when I graduated and got my career going, I was able to discontinue those services. Also the government can help with daycare costs as well. If you put your mind to it, you can make having this baby a very rewarding choice. Just think, your only 21, when your 30 ( my age), your kid will already be 9! You'll still be in your prime and not tied down to caring for a toddler. You'll still be able to go out,date, and have fun. Also, I never felt lonely these past 3 years. My son has kept me company, kept my mind off of wanting to " go out ", and kept me responsible. Becoming a parent is a good thing if you let it and embrace it with a positive outlook. I met a man right before my son's 2nd birthday. He fell in love with me and my son and now I'm married and 9 months pregnant!!! You never know what the tide will bring in... I say ride the wave and see where it takes you!

Megan88 being pregnant and alone is tough and hard. I am 29 and found out after conceiving that my would be husband had taken another gal home to meet his parents, i cried all thru my preganancy and probably bse of this constant stress i developed pre-eclampsia and my preganancy had to be terminated at 7 months to save me and my little gal. Then began another tough journey of intensive care for my gal, i did this all alone with the support of my family, but guess wat? wen i go home in the evenin after work and my baby gal smiles at me everything i have gone thru seems worth it, i would not have it any other way! Believe me the pain and worry does reduce once u give birth and somehow God does take care of all of us in our different circumstances and situations. Please be strong for your little one because everything you feel does affect the outcome of your pregnancy, better times do lie ahead and that is not just to console u i have beeen there and am still here, scarred? yes! but i have the most beautiful gift i could ever ask for, my 7 months baby gal!! All the best Megan and i am here for you should u need me.

i won't lie,it is very hard work doing this on your own! Before I had my dd, i thought oh this will be a piece of cake, i don't know why i thought that. Then in the early months the father and i broke up, very difficult. But depending who you are, you may end up regreting it a lot down the road,if you get an abortion or anything. It does get easier as they grow up though. My daughters 18 months now and i've gotten the hang of doing it on my own, you just have to remember leave a lot of things until later on and that your baby comes first. I feel the same way that it is more ideal for 2 parents to raise a child but i couldn't do it with him,he's not even paying support for her and hasn't ever. i so wish it was different, i consider going back but everytime he talks to me i just get angry. Just make sure to be safer next time around. You can also have some time to find a real daddy for her :)