25 year old 13 wks prego, he left me for meth&other girl

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25 Year Old 13 Wks Prego, He Left Me For Meth&other Girl

2 posts on this thread and the last post was on February 4th, 2009 10:55 AM

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scared lonely mommy to be - February 4th, 2009 12:15 AM

[Original Post]

hi i'm really scared, i'm 25 years old ,my boyfriend and i were toghether for 2 years, we moved in toghether in oct 08, and we both wanted to have a baby, so we started trying, the test came up positive nov 31st, he was really exited, after that he started to change, he is a tattoo artist, he started coming home at 3-4 in the morning, disapeering for days at a time, not calling, he left me with no rent money, or money to help with bills, when he finally came home he said that he was held hostage by drug dealers thats why he couldent come home. well after that he disapeered for a month, i waited for him thinking that he would come home, he kept lying to me about where he was who he was with, and i belived him, i found meth pipes and meth in the apartment, and phone numbers, we got an eviction notice to move out by 1/31/09, he told me to move to my moms, and he would move to his moms so he could save money to get us another apartment, i believed him, i guess when people are on meth they promise you the world, and are very convincing.
well i moved out and he kept calling me, telling me he loved me and that he would never leave us me and the baby. well since i moved to my moms i havent heard from him, and his sister in law tells me that he has another girlfriend, and that i left him, well i decided that i dont want his lies, drugs, and abuse in my life or in my babys life, but im scared this is my 1st baby, i work but im worried that i wont make ends meet, or that my baby will miss out on having a dad, i just dont understand how he could leave me at a time like this, he even told his 2 daughter from his prevoius marrige that they were going to have a sibling, now he dosent even call me. i need to talk to some one who knows what im going through, PLEASE, im depressed, scared, and feel abandoned.

iona - February 4th, 2009 1:45 AM

You poor thing! I hope you are staying with your mom and she supports you. Although I have not been thru the same, my brother who is a heroin addict got a meth addict pregnant. Apparently they were both "clean" at the time as they were both fresh out of rehab. Right after their daughter was born they both went back big time to their drug of choice. Meth made the mom simliar to the way you describe your ex. Paranoid, telling the most bizarre stories, unreliable and disappear! She ended up in jail, lost custody of her child and now 4 years later is "clean" again and seems to be on the right track although her own mother has guardianship of her daughter. Your ex's behavior is 100% out of your control and you can only hope that sometime down the line he MIGHT change. Addiction can rob someone of their life....some get their acts together, other never...My brother has yet, after 12 years to change.... Try just to focus on yourself and your baby. Surround yourself with positive, healthy people. You need to take it one day at a time. Good luck!!! PS Do you have any contact with his mom? What is she like?

clindholm - February 4th, 2009 10:55 AM

Unfortunately, addicts do not think if others, just themselves and where to get the next hit. Don't take it personal, that's just how they are. You and your baby are actually much better off without him. Think of how bad it would be with the constant lies and cheating as your pregnancy progresses. Also, once your baby is here, how to explain the long absences that "Daddy" takes and his erratic behavior. You are lucky to have your mom and keep working so that you can have your independance. It may be hard to believe right now, but he did you a favor by disappearing. Good luck, hun.

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