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Is the question whether to tell him or not? Or how to tell him? Because in the end, you know that there's only one way to find out how he reacts to the news. The nausea could be 1st trimester *grin*, or it might be caused by something else. From your post, my feeling is that you are not sure what you want to happen - whether you want him to be happy about it and involved or whether you want him to demand an abortion. Do you know how you want him to react? I think you know you will tell him, and you will decide the best time and way to tell him - although people can certainly provide suggestions on how to do so if that is the question. First, however, I think you can save yourself a lot of headache if you decide what you want. Begin with the end in mind. Do you want the child, do you want to be co-parents, and/or do you want to be in a relationship with or married to the father? Knowing these things will make it easier to work towards what you want, and to prepare you for the possibilities - of *his* reaction to *your* stance. If you haven't a stance, he might not (most likely will not) have one either, and will end up giving you mixed signals. You will be left feeling more confused, instead of feeling supported in your pregnancy (or pissed at the jerk, etc etc). Or, he will railroad you with his persistence. Knowing what you want also prepares you in the case he knocks you for a loop from his previous anti-children position and tells you he wants to be the ultra-involved octopus parent. Persistent can be good, and it can be bad, depending on circumstances. By the way, do you know why he doesn't want children? In my opinion the only men who can legitimately escape responsibility under a claim of having adamantly declared that he doesn't want children are (1) the celebate, (2) the vasectomized, and (3) the eunichs. And in those cases, I don't feel they ought to escape responsibility legally (re: child support) - just that they would have my sympathy.

I prob should have said in there somewhere that my decision to keep the baby has already been made. I just emailed him to say hi. I think Im going to tell him Im going to stop by tonight and just do it. Do you think I should do it tonight or wait until I go to the doctor? To answer you question gummibear I really dont know what I want from him at this point. Im so confused.

Apologies for not responding sooner. I saw your other thread about having told him tonight and about the false positive. I understand the weirdness about being asked whether you've decided to keep the baby - my sister asked me the same thing and it was an odd feeling. Barring medical complications, abortion isn't really an option for me personally. But I don't presume the same for others, and its a decision every unplanned pregnancy faces. Anyway, it's still fairly early in your pregnancy - the sooner you can decide what you want for yourself, the better, for planning purposes. At the same time, its good to be flexible too. The hormones can make us a little loopy, emotional, etc., not providing the best platform on which to make important decisions, i.e. determining what we want in life as a general proposition. But from your post, it doesn't sound like the indecision is due to your hormones. You didn't explain why you feel you're 'bad' at relationships, just that you take off when you start to like this guy a lot. There are so many possible explanations for this. You may have just dated guys you knew you shouldn't date, and your instincts told you to run pre-attachment. Or maybe you've only seen bad examples of committed relationships (or of men) and don't want to repeat others' mistakes. Maybe it's in your personality naturally (as opposed to any 'history' per se), i.e. if you tested your Myers Briggs type, you might be a perceiver (happier keeping options open) instead of a judger (happier having decisions made). Feel more comfortable before or after picking something on a menu? Something may have happened to make you feel wary about guys. There are many reasons you may feel the way you do - it's for you to identify your reasons and understand them. I used to think I was 'bad' in relationships - many years ago. I eventually realized that it wasn't an integral part of *me* per se, just that I had issues to deal with. But getting the foundational stuff dealt with, I was able to open up, and experience a few healthy relationships. They didn't work out, but I can look back and say I was a good girlfriend to those guys. I learned that, for the long haul, I needed to be ready to be in a relationship, that it needed to be with a good guy, and that we needed to be compatible. That doesn't mean I don't still have issues, just that they are manageable. With my fiance, within one month of dating he kissed me and told me he loved me. I thought I was ready when I met him, I sensed he was a good guy, and we seemed very compatible. Yet I still responded by physically pushing him away in a panic and running outside, heart racing. Does this sound familiar? He thought I was going to leave, and stayed inside to give me space to decide. And in past relationships, I DID leave. That night, I was out there for a LONG time, thinking and analyzing. After clearing my head I realized that I'd regret it if I left. Emotions are very human; it's where we make decisions solely based on them that can get us into trouble. Once I cleared my head, I was able to understand why I panicked, was able to understand that it wasn't him (although he was moving too fast for me), and was able to go inside and tell him that I didn't want to leave and that I needed him to slow down. I explained where I was coming from, and he adjusted accordingly, being very understanding. I've also had less frequent and less severe reactions. You have to know yourself before you can know what you need from someone else in a relationship. Fortunately, you've got approximately 35 weeks before all your time, energy, and focus will be on your little one, so you might as well take the time out for some self-exploration now. =) Instead of asking what you want from *him*, start first with thinking about what you want *for yourself*- what do you see for your future, when you're 30 / 35 / 40 / 45 etc. House, car, boat, spaceship, whatever - imagine your ideal day (or several options of ideal days). Where are you, and who are you with? Does it include a significant other? (*hint* It probably includes children now, unless they're off at college or out making trouble on your 'ideal' day...) It's ok to want something unconventional - it's just an idea. My ideal situation used to involve having a husband that lived across the street from me and our children. It was telling because it told me that I *did* want a husband and family one day, but that I didn't want to give up my independence and privacy. Your ideal will tell you what is important to you and for you, and should give you some answers. Good luck!