Advice Needed. Thank You!!

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5 posts on this thread and the last post was on February 8th, 2009 7:27 AM

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pinkbo0tlace - December 5th, 2008 8:05 PM

[Original Post]

My children's father and I are not together. But, I was at his cousins house awhile back - and she had been drinking. She started to cry and told me that my ex had molested her when they were younger. She said that he told her that he wanted to "play a game", and ended up asking for oral sex. She told me only her mother knew, and her mother didn't tell anyone for fear that the family would "rip him apart'. Well, I confronted him about what I was told, and my ex said "DON'T SPREAD THE GOSSIP!" a couple times over....than changed the conversation topic. I layed in bed, and thought that was kind of an odd response for someone that would of been innocent....so, I left a voice mail telling him that I was very concerned for him to be around our children, etc... And I never got a phone call back. Today, I called him and told him I think he is guilty because he has yet to deny any of this, and how this makes me so sad to find this out...and I told him again, I fear for our children. He said "is this what you called to talk to me about?" and I go "yes", and he goes "Goodbye, Ashley" and hung up on me. I texted him and I said "See, those kind of responses make me think your guilty" and he called me back right away and said "You are so rediculous!! How you would even ask me!" and hung up. I'm really confused......honestly, what would you think of this situation? or Do? Thanks!

mjvdec01 - December 7th, 2008 2:22 AM

That is pretty creepy. I honestly don't know what I would do. I guess you have to go with what your gut tells you. I would definitlely speak to the cousin again when she isn't intoxicated and get a few things clarified. You may get an indication as to wether or not she is lying to you, or being truthful. I don't think I could ever let something like that out of my mind and be comfortable with unsupervised visits. If you talk to the father again, you can always ask him to take a lie detector test. There are locations all over, you pay a fee and get your answer. If he is innocent, he should have no problem testing. Your kids come first and your first responsibility is to protect them no matter the cost.

iona - December 8th, 2008 1:12 PM

How old were they when this supposedly happened.?

pinkbo0tlace - December 12th, 2008 3:38 AM

She said that she was about 8 & he was about 13?

iona - December 13th, 2008 1:37 PM

I asked the ages because I thought it might just be child discovery play...but 13...that's disturbing....Has your ex said anything more on the topic...

Theustim - February 8th, 2009 7:27 AM

Pink...you want your ex to say "Yes am guilty" or "No am not guilty". I think he is guilty but that is something I don't expect him to plead easily. As you can tell, he is neither saying that story is not true or saying yes. I think you are wasting your effort to get him to confess, instead directs your efforts to protecting your children.

On a different thought, he was 13 and it may have been cowardice to go find a girl of his age so may be it happened in the past and its all history....but still my opinion is finds means of protecting your children, you may never get him to confess. Or if you can get him to take a lie detector test as suggested by mjdec01.

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