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Father To Be Need Advice About Mother To Be.
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Texan_1386 - sorry you're having troubles with your ex. Now who is this guy from Germany? it seems things went haywire when he moved in with you guys. First things first... If she doesn't have any feelings for you left, just forget about her. First love, will stay with you forever, but something with her has changed. However, when it comes to your son, make sure that your name is on the birth certificate. Also, DO go to court and get everything in paper. That includes visitation, apply for joint custody, guardianship, etc. do not let her play by her own rules. you will have to pay child support and that will be ordered by court. We made the mistake of letting the mother (my husband's daughter) have full custody, guardianship and it's now 4 years later and my husband has no idea where his daughter is. He's going through courts to try to even get a visitation and even a picture and the mother is refusing.. So if you want to be in your son's life (which it sounds like you want to do the right thing), then please, make sure you take her to court and apply for all those things.. If you have any questions, please don't hesistate to email me at vanja1085 at hotmail.com.. I will try to help you as much as I can. good luck, i know it's tough, but you'll make it. |
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AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! She's driving me Insane. I got her a mother's day card that was very calm and not lovey dovey at all. And she calls me and is bitchiy she dosen't even mention the card and I also got her a bracelt wich she said she wont wear. I am so close to just cracking!!! |
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why are you buying her gifts if you are no longer together??? don't waste your time on her.. there are many women out there that would love a guy like yourself. i know you still love her and that will take time to heal, but you need to distance yourself. Last thing u need is a restraining order, plus she's pregnant.. her hormones are all over the place. don't take any chances. |
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Something is wrong here. The whole idea that her best friend from Germany(who is a male) came to live with you guys is odd. Are you sure that this child is yours? I would definitely think about getting a paternity test. Also, If you want to be active in helping this woman care for the baby, thats great. Co-pays, baby clothes, diapers, etc. But make it strictly about the baby. Dont give her any personal gifts. She doesn't appreciate it anyway. Who knows, maybe she used you to have this child, who will be an American citizen. That will possibly guarantee her a place here in the U.S. She sounds like a sneaky thing! |
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hey ... im sorry to hear you are going through this... but like everyone else said it does sound very fishy... and i have a feeling you added those details about germany and this man coming to live with you guys for a reason... you must have some suspicion as well... and no offence.... you should want a paternity test too... cause it sounds like you dont want one... do you really want to be raising someone elses kid... and if it does turn out to be your child having the paternity test does not mean that you didnt care about the child... i almost feel like you want this kid to be yours... so that you can still have a connection with her cause you still love her... i mean i still love my babys father... but i cant have that connection with him cause it hurts too much... anyway....i wish you the best of luck... she should be lucky to have a man like you that wants to stick by her side ( i just hope there isn't two men that are trying to stick by her side) |
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texan: since you copy/pasted, i'll copy/paste from the other place you posted this exact post and reply. she sounds hormonal to me. i've never heard of a woman complaining of her man being too romantic. she sounds hormonal and not ready for this type of commitment. now this may sound harsh, but if she won't allow you to be there for your own son, then you shouldn't have to be there for her financially. at this point she's using you and needs a wake up call. it sounds horrible, but some women take their pregnancies to their heads and expect people to bow down to them as if they're the first woman to have a baby. if she wants her space, give it to her and don't help her with anything. she obviously acts like she doesn't need it and you're just feeding into whatever is going through her mind. trust me. as a woman, i know that we can read men like books and we can be guilty of using that to our advantage. what i'm saying is she knows you're hurting for her and is possibly using you to her advantage. |
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THAT'S IT!!!!!! Im done. I just no more then 10 minutes ago have the cops knock at my door. They told me that She called them and told them that I have been Harrasing her. That I have been calling her repeatedly, sending her constant emails and stalking her. ALL of which is total BS!!!! I have only called her like 3 times in the past 2 months and they where all returning her phone calls that I have missed. The only other thing that I have done is I left her the doctor payment ( wich I will no longer pay) and a mother's day card on her wind shield. That's it. And she called me yesterday and asked me if her and I could meet today and I said ok. I think what brought this shit on is that I asked her while I was on the phone with her if she still worked at her job because I didn't see her car there for the past few days. (Her job is right on the main road that I can't avoid, and her car kinda stands out) I was just trying to talk like an adult to her. I am done with this S**T!!!! Thank you all for your advice. |
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man! i'm telling you! dump her! forget about her! i'm sure she'll do the "classy" thing and get you for child support, but if you're going to pay for things for that baby, take her to court to make her let you see your baby if you want to. and you can fight all that, because if she can't prove that you're calling her (call logs. you can call the phone company) and email logs (where are the emails from you? she should have them in her inbox and keep them if she expects anyone to believe her). i truly think she has mental issues. i'm glad you won't pay for anything anymore. unfortunately, the law will always pity a pregnant woman even when she hasn't earned it in any way. they just blindly believe. sounds weird coming from a pregnant woman, i know lol, but it's sad and true. i would say if she asks you to meet her anymore, you say no. she's just going to turn it on you and i have to kind of smile and shake my head at your comment about her car, because i could have seen her reaction coming a mile away, but guys are sometimes so blindly innocent about things, you don't know when you're about to step into a big steamy pile. i suggest if you feel like talking to her anymore, only talk about the baby. the one thing you guys have in common now other than walking and breathing. it's safe, it's yours and it hasn't been tainted by her. good luck and stay tough! |
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Texan the girl sounds like a total user. she is using you for every penny she can squeeze out of you and then most probably spending that money with her new lover boy whilst having a good laugh about how 'psycho' she thinks you are. she is playing you for an absolute fool and i would bet my house that yes she has cheated on you and the baby is probably not yours. you should definately get a paternity test, just remind yourself of all the lies she has told, you wouldnt want to be forking out all that money and then find out years down the line that he isnt your son afterall. i know its not a nice thought or nice thing to believe but lets face it, this girl isnt a nice person. i also think its incredibly hard for women to be best mates with men because usually one of them fancies the other or they both like each other, another lie she has no doubt told you. do not give her any amunition to call you a nutter, anything the police get involved with will go on record. no doubt she will ring you when she wants the next load of money for her loverboys baby. |
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Oh I completly forgot. Yesterday when the cops came and all was our one year aniversary of the day we met. We met on may 20th 2007 and I really don't think that she remembers this but it's all like salt to the wound you know. |
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don't let it get you down. you'll find a real woman some day and you'll get a chance to be genuinely happy. good luck! btw, i'm from texas too. where abouts are you? |
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I'm from Dallas. I live in florida right now though near Fort Walton Beach. I think im ready to move on. It may be alost cause but iwant to try to get main or sole custody. |
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well, before you fight for that baby, make sure it's yours. good luck to you! |
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i agree with teddy. i know its not a nice thing to think about but there is nothing worse than denial. you like to think after being with someone so long and being utterly in love with them, that they would never lie about such a thing. but im afraid with what texan has been saying it is something he will have to face head on. no more burying your head in the sand texan. find out for definate before you start forking out money and taking legal action. all she seems to care about is the money and for as long as she has you believe you are the father, you will be under her total control. |
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Ok, It's update time. I'm done with it. Completely done with her BS! I have done alot of thinking, and I have decided that it's not worth the heartache. I still Love her and I think I always will, but I do not like her. I am going to do everything to get full custody of my kid, and I will be the best damn father possible. The gloves our off, and I'm ready to rumble! |
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You ex might be a b*tch, but SHE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE the mother to your child. If you love her as you say, why on earth would you want to take her child from her. Since when is she a "bad mother" Has she proven to be unsafe? What is wrong with 50-50 custody? |
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