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Ok...have to know. Has he told his g/f yet?

OMG... We are so much a like in this aspect it's crazy!! I'm Jules, 25, first child, single (now). I also found out on Halloween! I was NOT ready for children at all but I'm getting more excited about it everyday. Let me just say that I know what you are feeling. My boyfriend and i were fighting about some things, decided on a break, found out we were pregnant 5 days later. Out of a "guilty responsibilty" he decided he wanted to give it a try and later tells me it was only for the baby. Now he is starting to get back out into the dating world and I personally just don't have the desire to date right now so I'm devistated. I'm also feeling, betrayed, alone, depressed, excited, and just plain "numb." I wanted some advice as to how you are handling? And any legal advice I should know about. He says he does want to support the baby he just doesn't want us to be together... HELP!!!

hey girl just keep ur head up. maybe there will be a future for yall.

Hi brandie922 ---------------------- I dont think he has told the girlfriend. I think hes waiting for the holidays to pass.

Hi jules08 ----------------------------------- That is so funny you found out on Halloween I swear I was the only one. It was the weirdest thing. I had so plans to go out that night! That didnt happen. I wouldnt feel like dating either. Specially not woth a child in belly lol. Men are sometimes dumb and selfish, There is nothing we can do but be strong and do what we gotta do for our babies.---------- Now in regards to your question regarding the legal stuff. I havent really looked in to it because 1. he has decided to be there for the baby. 2. I dont believe in child support. I know it seems odd but if he decides to be there for the baby whats the point ya know. I hope he will be responsible enought to have everything 50/50 I really am not the one who needs the money its the baby so as long as he feeds, clothes and takes care of the baby while he or she is with him then Im straight. I dont need anything else. Of course I understand that it might not always be that perfect but Im praying it will. Now if he decides not be there financially or as a father for the baby.... well you cant force anyone so what are you to do. To me child support should come from the father willingly to the baby not to me. And honestly going to court and fighting and all that crap to me is just so ugh!!!! I just dont want to have to be in court and all that i dont believe I will have the energy to do so. So im doing it on my own if I have to. When we first found out that I was PG and I asked the dad if he would be there I also told him that before he answered me ... was that if he was going to be there... to me that meant 100% from labor, to first day of school to babysitting everything including expenses. And if your not gonna be there, then yiu leave me and the baby to our selves. I didnt want a half as dad that would come around when ever he felt like it. So I figured that when he said he wanted to be here that meant 100 %............. so will see how that goes......... Where are you from Jules08?

Hey girls (jules and Miris).. I feel like you guys are telling MY story!! :) I am also 26 years old, had a casual relationship with a guy that I worked with since July. He also happened to be in a relationship. We started casually talking and going out, and finally on his BDay in August, we had sex for the first time and I found out in October (as well) that I was expecting a baby. All the while that he was in the relationship, he swore that things were not working out and that he wanted to be with me. He told me that if the situation ever escalated to me getting pregnant, than we would move in together and be together. Once that actually happened, he then started feeling emotions of guilt toward his ex (who has since broken up with him for other reasons). He tells me know that his main focus is to get back together with her even though he knows I am almost 4 months pregnant. He ALSO says that he cannot be there 100% because his priority is getting back together with his ex, but he can be there for a portion of the time??!!! He is a total a**hole, continues to party with friends on the weekends, and even though he is 35 and should be of the maturity level to know that his responsibilities are different, he continues his life as a bachelor. He basically plays mind games and tells me he is "in" some days, and others days his actions speak differently. I know that I should just make the decision that I am not going to depend on this person to be reliable, and to fully prepare myself to be strong and both mentally and financially secure on my own. I also don't want to get into the sticky mess of the courts. He just has a way of "woo-ing" girls, and if I really think about it, I'm sure I am not the only girl that he is dating right now. Hey Miris, are you from San Diego?

He says that he is there 100% for me and the baby and that I am the most important person in his life besides family. I know he means it and that he will support this baby in every way. So, just like you I'm not going to go to court either unless for some reason he decides to bail. I just didn't know how to work all of it out but that will come later I guess. We still go to church together on Sundays and still see each other once in a while. I'm okay with that... If I can't have all of him right now then I am comfortable to have as much as he will allow. I'm just keeping my head up, for me and the baby. You should all do the same!!! We will get through this! I feel like this is our "support group." It's kind of cool how all of us are kind of in the same boat. I thought I was the only one and all of your advice and responses really helps. So THANK YOU! By the way, I'm from Atlanta, GA.

Hey Vannie824================== I am not in San Diego but I am in southern California. email me if you want my email is miris at hotmail dot com. Its funny how comforting it is to know that there is other people going thru the samething as I am. It is like a support group Jules, it has definetly helped me feel better. Anyone on here can email and we can keep in touch just make sure to write something in the subject line that I could recognize like Single ang Preggo forum and your nickname or something. I would hate to accidently delete anything from my spam inbox. I also have a blackberry Im addicted so if you have one you will know you can PIN ME here is my PIN 2428C005. Hope to hear from some of you soon. For now goodnight I need some sleep.