I JUST DON'T UNDERTAND

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3 posts on this thread and the last post was on June 14th, 2005 9:35 AM

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Sara - May 27th, 2005 6:40 PM

[Original Post]

How a man can be so hurtful towards a woman who is carrying his child, especially if he has confessed his love to her, is as happy about the child as she is, has been in love with her for years and so on. I really do not understand it. Why can't I? Is it because I'm a woman? Is it because I can't be so hurtful myself??? I really don't get it. If I were a man, in love with my woman who is carrying my child, I wouldn't be able to help but to love her even more, I would see her as something so damn special, she would be precious to me and I would want to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I could not imagine hurting the mother of my child, someone whom I'm supposed to be in love with. I don't get it and it's so frustrating. I bring this question up because I'm going to be a mother and the man that has fathered my child has hurt me so deeply. I have done absolutly nothing to him to hurt him, or to deserve this. I've always loved him, he's always told me he's loved me. I've always been good to him and I thought he was good to me too, until one day, I found out he has been betraying me the worst way possible. Cheating on me. I'm really don't understand. Of course I'm hurting, but I'm more confused and frustrated than anything.

April - May 28th, 2005 11:16 AM

Men are stupid. We have NO way of knowing why they do things. They are just a LOT different than women are. Especially emotional pregnant women. Honestly, if he has been cheating on you, then I think you should leave him. Speaking from experience, once they cheat on you, they'll always cheat on you. You and your baby do NOT need that in your life. Being single and pregnant is hard at first, but trust me you get used to it. You just have to accept the fact that you will NEVER understand why he did what he did. Your guy is a selfish jerk(putting it nicely) for doing something like that to you.. and he doesn't deserve you. Also something to think about... 1 in 4 people have an STD... if he is cheating on you.. he is increasing your chances of getting an STD from him... that would scare me half to death. I, for one, will never EVER date a cheater again.

Been There, Done That - June 8th, 2005 12:05 AM

I've been cheated on twice! After that, it took me 11 years to finally start dating again. Please don't waste 11 years of your life being disgruntled. Just deal with the problem at hand. Think about adoption. If that is not an option for you, then resolve to the fact that you will raise the child alone. Try for child support, but don't count on it. The sooner you get over feeling betrayed and used (that's how I felt anyway), the sooner you can be a more loving parent to your child. I wish you well!

Hurting Too - June 14th, 2005 9:35 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. My husband did the same thing to me. He admitted to having an affair when I was five months pregnant, moved out but went to counseling with me, letting me believe that we were working things out. Then, four days after he moved back in, I found out that he's still involved with her, has never stopped being involved with her, and has been lying to me the whole time. I'm now 8 months pregnant and alone. He's giving the lame, lame excuse that he's just not in love with me anymore. Couldn't he have figured that one out before I got pregnant?

You're right: you did nothing wrong and definitely nothing to deserve this. Nobody deserves this. Some men are idiots and can't handle their emotions, their fears, their feelings of inadequacy, etc. But knowing that doesn't change the reality of the situation, does it? If you can, try to focus on yourself as much as possible. You're going to need your strength. Surround yourself with people who truly do love you and want the best for you. Good luck!

If you want to chat with me on-line about your situation, I'd be more than happy to connect. My username on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) is sfox32.

take care of yourself and your little one,
S

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