Pregnancy Info HOME

The Aunt Connie route seems like a practical suggestion. You might be able to fiind a job in that town so that you could be more a part of the family. Where have your parents gone? The father is giving you signals that while he might be moral support, he is not likely to be much financial help. It would be difficult to be a good mom if you were surviving on $18,000 with no support system. Sorry I can't offer more encouragement than that. Good luck!

Honestly I'm not sure if giving your child to your sister is a very good idea. It's like you said, you will forever be Aunt Connie. You might want to think about how you would feel seeing your child call your sister mom, running to her and not you when she has a boo boo, watching your sister discipline your child when he/she does something wrong. I know you said she lives in another state but i'm sure you would visit as often as you could. And while you may plan for this to be a temporary thing your sister could grow very attached to your child and end up fighting you in court for custody. If you really don't think adoption or aborton are choices you can make I urge you to do whatever you can to make it work. Maybe it means trying to find a job where your sister lives and seeiing if she can help with babysitting or looking into what you are eligable for as far as govenment aid, and i know you said your child's father is already going to be taking care of a baby but that doesn't mean it gives him a free pass on this one. He is still responsible for that child and i would let him know that if he won't make a reasonable controbution each month you will be taking him to court and getting it that way. Good luck to you, I understand this is very hard but things usually do have a way of working themselves out in the end.

*BIG HUG*

You said you don't know if you can give your child the life it deserves - but that's just it, what it deserves - it deserves a chance at life. I'm not against abortion per se, and think it's a personal choice, but what I see in your post is - you're willing, you have FAITH, and you're looking for hope. What's standing in your way is something that is a practical concern, but something that you know deep down God can easily work around. If you didn't know it in your heart, you wouldn't have posted what you did. I think you just need a reminder.

Don't give up your child - and don't abort him/her either - have faith, and God will provide. Its easy for us to read in the Bible about God making mana rain down on people in the desert, nod and forget that He can make job opportunities or other financial support provisions appear for us.

Being single and pregnant - its not what He wanted for us. It's why we're not supposed to have premarital sex - the natural consequence to our sin is hardship, and He doesn't want us to suffer that. But He also gives us children as blessings, and loves us as His children, despite our sins.

You said you want to know whether YOU can find a way to make it work. But the issue is whether you can know that HE can (and will) find a way - and not just any old way, but His way, the best way, for you and your baby. He will take care of us, if we only have faith in Him.

Money comes and goes, but babies - gifts from God - are priceless. *hugs*

Hey...like someone already mentioned, you already know what you have to do...just do it! People find a way all the time. Think of all the poor people that don't even have jobs that make a life for their babies.
I'm in a somewhat similar situation, where i am not "ready" to have a baby...it's what i had planned for...but...I'm not willing to have an abortion either so I'm just going to have to step it up! Ask for help where i can and get ready for the hard road ahead. At least we aren't homeless :)
p.s. make that baby daddy pay! You didn't lie down alone! Even though you may feel guilty, but it's not about guilt...it's about what's right!

I hope I didn't come across as offensively preachy - if I did, I didn't mean to.

Also, i'd like to point out that it's not selfish to keep your baby. My SO's mom sent him to her sister across-country when he was little, for financial reasons, relinquishing all custody rights. His aunt was also better situated, with husband, children, and house.
One day my SO woke up and decided that the real reason was that he was unwanted. He stayed away from ALL of them for 12 years, until I got pregnant and pushed him to resume contact. Before I met his mom, I viewed her decision as a very selfish one. It was selfish of her not to try harder to keep him close, to deprive him of the chance to grow up with his real mom and/or dad. She's so sorry about it, it's hard (for me) to stay mad at her - but then, she's not MY mom, and i'm not the one she let go.

If you gave your child to your sister and (s)he found out you were the real mother (and these things have a way of coming out eventually), i wouldn't expect your child to understand. try putting yourself in your child's shoes, finding out the truth later in life. it's unlikely to go over well.

also, you're 21 and have some college education - you're not 14, unemployed, in a third world country - and you have health insurance! start counting your blessings dear... let us know what you ultimately decide...