Im 7 1/2 months preg. Where did i go wrong?

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Im 7 1/2 Months Preg. Where Did I Go Wrong?

5 posts on this thread and the last post was on July 18th, 2005 10:26 AM

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Mandy - July 12th, 2005 9:40 AM

[Original Post]

To give a little back ground i met my babys father in 2001 when i was 15 him 21. We were nothing more than friends, and i never thought wed be at where we are today. In dec 2001 he went was sent to prison, so as a friend would i kept in touch until he got out in july 2004, In aug 2004 he caught a case for receving stolen property he was locked up until december 1 2004. This whole time i was writeing him, i got letter almost everyother day, before i knew it i was falling in love with someone i didnt want to, but he treated me different, he treated me like a human, while in jail hed write and tell me he loved me and that hed never hurt me, i deserved better than how id been getting treated. We hooked up the day he got out, promiseing not to hurt each other, 1 month and 10 days went by great, id never been happier, i was sent to basic training was gone 2 weeks and he cheated on on me. 20 days after leaveing home for BCT i found out i was preg. after being gone a total of 30 days i got to finally talk to him and tell him that i was coming home because i was preg. Everything was going ok, i mean we had our problems, then shit when wrong, he ended up going to Drug Treatment June 14, 2005, again i was there by his side Tues July 5 i was able to go get him from treatment, Tuesday night and wednesday was great but by Thursday everything went down hill he wouldnt talk to me, Friday morning after he left for work i called him to remind him of his po apointment he told me he loved me, and would see me at noon when he got off for lunch. He came home for lunch not saying to much to me, he came home after work that night took a shower and left at 8:00 pmnot returning home until 4:15pm that following day.Im really confused by this point he wouldnt talk to me so i kept on until he did he looked at me with eyes ive never seen before and told me he just didnt love me anymore and that we couldnt work things out, i was so crushed, so he took off after an hour of argueing took our dogs. Just Monday he taked about after our daughter got here waiting about a year and trying for alittle boy since this will make his second daughter. I'm so confused i love him with all my heart and would do anything for him, where did i got wrong our daughter will be here in a month and 1/2 and im all alone, i had to leave our house and move back in with my mother because due to complications of the pregnancy i cant return to work.He wont answer my phone calls or return my calls. Where did i go wrong? I just want him back in my life.

firsttimemomma - July 12th, 2005 2:50 PM

If you want to know the truth, you went wrong when you started a relationship with a man in prison..This man has problems that are beyond you..No matter how much you try to help him, he's gonna do what he's gonna do. So many women believe that if we do this or if we do that, then he'll come around. I've been there before and he'll come around when he's ready, not because of what you do for him. Would you want your daughter to grow up and be with this type of man?? If your answer is no, then why would you want to be with him..I know that you want him back, but how long would you put up with his crap?? 10 years down the line, you wouldnt want to be going through the same thing. My suggestion to you is to try to move on...Pain is only temporary and doesnt last forever..

me - July 14th, 2005 12:43 AM

have the baby place it for adoption, and put the man behind u for good, if u dont he was even cause more proablems later on,
good luck

Mandy - July 14th, 2005 12:53 AM

to me: thanks for your input but Im NOT putting our daughter up for adoption thats not an option,

jesse - July 14th, 2005 3:57 PM

I am pregnant w/twins due in dec. and have an 8 month old I have chosen to leave my baby's dad because he is a loser like yours. Despite what you think he will only drag you down it is up to you now to get support and be strong for your child. Screw him sign up for child support get a lawer and never talk to him again. You do not want an influence like him in your child's life. You are not alone and there are many resources to help women in your situation. Good luck.

Bev - July 18th, 2005 10:26 AM

Hi Firsttimemomma

I totally agree with you adoption is not option. I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant and also no longer with my baby's father so i know exactly what you are going through. There are times when i feel so lonely and depressed with out him and its at those moments that i would get this big kick from my little girl. Its like she wants to tell me mummy i love you and its okay we'll be there for each other. I was hospitalized at 14 weeks for stress and the day i walked out of that hospital i promised i would never stress again now its time to start thinking about my baby and not about a man that does not care for me. I'm also a first time mum myself and i love my unborn baby so much its unbelievable.I must be honest i use to have so much bitterness towards him at first but now I've just made peace with him cause one day he'll have to give answer to God and his daughter. I always say that the whole situation is bad and the only good thing that's come out of the whole situation was God blessing me with a beautiful little girl. The father still has the same mentality and i think that he will never change. He seems to be messing up everywhere he goes he actually made another girl pregnant as well and we about a month apart He also refuses to support that child as well and this is an educated man a medical doctor. I just like to give you advise on the fact that your child's father is on drugs that is a huge problem believe me I've dated a guy that was on drug and that was wanted by the cops. He was actually regarded as "shot on sight" by the cops. I stood by his side till i could no longer handle the drugs problem cause of the fact that he started stealing from me and borrowing money from me to maintain his habit. The day i said its enough was when he took my car for a few day and sold all my possession in my car to buy drug. I just felt i had enough cause i tried to help him in everyway i could and still he did not appreciate it and someday he'll sit down and realize that he lost something good cause i treated him really good.I realised that i can't change him if his not prepared to change on his own his own,he is now serving time in prison once again cause almost ever year he ends up there its like a cycle.I don't think you wanted your child knowing that her father spends most of his time in prison cause he refuses to grow up.I dont think anyone can really tell you to just forget about him cause its a decision you have to make on your own and also it will take time to get over that hurt and pain and it really does take time its not easy at all. I know what I'm speaking about cause i still sometimes cry up to now but then all i think about is my little girl and her health she is now the most important person in my life.All i can tell you now is to please start thinking and putting your baby first no matter how painful it is.If ever you need to speak you could e-mail me on beverlyl@regent.co.za.at anytime day or not.

Love
Bev

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