Looking for a little perspective

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Looking For A Little Perspective

3 posts on this thread and the last post was on September 3rd, 2008 6:20 AM

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TiffVano - August 13th, 2008 9:31 PM

[Original Post]

I am 25 and i have a 4and a half year old who's father left us when my son was 6 months old and when it all happened i vowed to learn from my mistake and try to be a little more careful in the choices i made. Fast forward to today and i find myself in a similar situation, i am 19 weeks today and have been seeing the childs father for about 8 months and ever since i became pregnant things have gotten just awful. I know that i am moodier than usual and have tried to apologize but i am getting so tired of constantly having to apologize for "feeling sad for no reason" sometimes or for being a litle short, he constantly threatens to leave because ( as he puts it) i must just be a moody crazy person. This is just not the case, i am a very loving mother, strong and a very sane person. I am strating to realize that this is just not the idea situation for me, but having been a single mom for the last 4 years ( by no choice of my own) i am having a hard time being able to break it off for fear of doing it all alone again, it is also quite clear that if we are not together i will not recieve much help (if any). Our relationship is so stressful and i have tried to talk to him, explain to him i don;t deserve to be threatened like this but he just doesn't seem to care, i am so torn, i just don;t have it in me to roll over and just take it you know.....if anyone out there has any imput or has been in a similar situation i would love to hear from you

clindholm - August 14th, 2008 9:29 AM

It almost sounds like he is looking for an excuse to leave. I would pack his bags the next time he threatens to leave. As far as support, if it's his baby, he has to financially support it and any moral or emotional support sure won't come from someone like him if he stays. Will he pull the same bs when you are moody b/c you've been up all night with a screaming baby? I don't think you need the extra stress of walking on eggshells around him, but that's just my opinion.

depressed78 - August 19th, 2008 7:18 AM

Hi Tiffvano,

I guess you have to see what kind of man he is (Character I mean). Many times man couldn't understand what we are going through with hormone inbalance. It makes us really insane at times without us realising it. And its something which is rather uncontrollable. I'm in the same situation as you. I am just 08weeks pregnant. My boyfriend didn't even take care of me even when he know's i'm pregnant. He didn't even dare tell his family. And mind you he is 31yrs old. Same here, when I get frustrated, he treatens to leave. And says he hate my character. Well, it depends what you want in life. I myself is in a dilema too.

bluezy411 - September 3rd, 2008 6:20 AM

gals, come on! u can't let the lives of you and your baby & your happiness be solely determined by the dad! am more or less in the same situation but one of the first conscious decisions i made was that i would not let myself, the baby or how miserable i felt be all about how good or bad the dad 2 be is treating us. U hve 2 put you and yr baby's well being before all else! Single parenthood scares the hell out of me but if it brings me some peace of mind, then so be it!! step up gals!

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