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I am now 4 mths in my pregnancy. My boyfriend J left me two mths ago. J left me when I hinted to him I may be pregnant when I miss my period.
I know J since school days when we are around 15 years old. We like each other then. After school, he went into army, further his studies in the States and thereafter found a job in shanghai. I went straight into the corporate world after school as my family cannot afford to send me to the university. My dad was sick then and the family burden was on me. J wanted more time from me but i cldnt give him. We went separate ways after that. While J was in shanghai, he met a girl. They got married and have 3 children now.
Last year, both J and me met. Our feelings rekindled. We tried to control our feelings for years, but our emotions overruled our rational thoughts. I left my boyfriend for him. I didnt handled the breakoff with my current boyfriend well, he got someone to followed me and J. He knows where J lives. He called J's wife and told him abt our relationship hoping J and me wld split and I can come back to him. I knew this when J told me tht his wife recd a call. Since then J doubt it was me who called his wife and this has affected our relationship. Despite this, we continue to see each other but less often. J has a good career. He is always busy with his work. Despite his busy schedule we still meet.
But one day, I told him i missed my period. He told me that should I decide to keep the baby i must be able to take care of the baby myself as he can only support financially. I was devastated and cried when he told me this. I know if a man truly loves me will not treat me such a way. I decided to leave him and move on. But going through the pregnancy alone is tough. I feel depressed and lost as I hv no close friend and no family to give me the support i needed. I kept telling myself my baby is innocent and I have to live for my baby. My baby is my hope to live now, I keep hanging on there. This is my first time having a baby, i feel the stress. Being a single mom, I hv to face office pressure, my colleagues talking behind me. I have to plan how I can cope after my baby is delivered as there is no one to help me take care of my baby. I hv to prepare a sum of money for contingency plan. I feel the stress. I really dont know how long I can do this...
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