Pregnancy Info HOME

Is this the first that you have heard of him going to the army? Do you think that he has had this planned for a long time? Also, how long have you been with him? Ughhh... I really feel for you:( Nobody ever wants to be a single mom, sometimes guys are so selfish. Mine was, he also left me at 3 months pregnant, except he's not ever coming back. Hurts bad I know, but make sure that you always have lots of friends and family around to support you and your baby. Sounds like your guy is just scared and made a very irrational decision. He is the one that will be missing out, the best that you can do is send him lots of pictures and hope that he returns safely. I'm sure he will soon realize what he is missing out on and totally regret his decision to leave. Abscence makes the heart grow fonder. Good luck!

this came out of nowhere. he says he's been thinkin about it for a week but he never told me. can u believ he decided to change both of our lives in a week? we've been together for 2yrs and ever since he found out i was pregnant all he can talk about is how is life isnt working the way he planned and now he thinks this is the way to fix it. he doesnt care that he wont be there for his childs birth or its first years of life. i am really beginning to hate him. i really am.

Woah?!?! Hold on there... I think you are being selfish and unfair... He is doing something that will change your lives financially for the better - not to mention all the good he is doing for his country. Come on - what other job is going to take care of your housing, medical, moving expenses, dental - EVERYTHING you and baby will need? Working at McDonalds? Whatever. Maybe he didn't want to tell you because you would react not in a SUPPORTING way but in a pissed off way like you are now. He is looking into not only his future to make it better, but yours and his childs as well. You think you are the first and only one out there whose other is in the military and won't be there for pregnancy/birth? Come on... i found out I was pregnant a week AFTER my DH was gone on assignment. You are not alone - there are several military agencies that help with the lonliness. Give him a break and cut him some slack - he is doing his best and instead of berating him you need to be supporting him. It's not all about you. He DOES care about his child - why do you think he is doing this? He is making a sacrafice for the betterment of his child - hopefully you'll wake up and see it...

Well, why isn't he MARRYING her before he goes off to the army? She didn't mention whether or not he was going to support her or write to her, etc. Once we know more details we can assume proper roles.

um excuse me MILITARY WIFE! do u know me or my baby's father?! do u think i would be on here ranting and raving if he was doing this for us?! he's not!! he has said in his own words that he doesnt want to be in the babies life because its ruining his life! i'm sure ur HUSBAND discussed this with u before he decided to go. my BOYFRIEND did not! we r not going with him. he's leaving me here with NOTHING! we're not married. How r U gonna tell ME he cares about his child? he has made it very care that the LAST thing he cares about is this child. Don't campare ur situation to mine cuz u dont know SHIT!! how about u ask a damn question first before criticizing me! he's made it clear that even when he comes back whenever the hell that is he'll pay child support but he wont be a parent to this child. and that McDonalds BULLSHIT was unnecessary because he has a great job here that will take care of everything and more but he just doesnt want a baby so he's running away. and ur right its not all about me its about our child. if he was just leaving me i would deal with it but abandoning our child? theres no excuse! ur giving him way too much credit. he has no plans of even keeping in contact with us. so u can kiss off with ur judgment cuz its the last thing i need!

"Lady" No where in your original post does it say anything regarding him not marrying you. You stated he was joining because that's how he saw fit to take care of things - if you want to jump down my throat - give out all the facts first!

Lay off the wife - geez... If you don't want opinions of others - then don't post. I feel for you lady and I think wife was trying to help as your original post reads - you never mentioned he wasn't willing to marry you - nor did you state he wasn't willing to be with you or your child?? Why get all defensive? You did leave the door open for different interpretations. Wife was trying to help. I do feel for you. Have you tried talking to his parents?

do u see what louise did? she asked questions when she wasnt sure. its not my fault she chose to ASSume i didnt say anything about marriage so y would u assume that? i didnt say he was trying to fix OUR lives it said he was trying to fix HIS. ur right she has the right to give her opinion since i made it a post so in the same way i have a right to give my opinion about her response dont i? and how was she trying to help? by calling me unsupportive and selfish? yeah right i feel so much better now. thanx. and that comment about McDonald's? what information did i give that made u Assume that was our only other choice? that was very insulting. Anyways no i have not spoken to his parents. he's nearly 30 yrs old his parents wont interfere and he hasnt even told them about the baby yet. maybe further on down the line i will consider talking to them i just dont know what to do right now.

I agree with Bonnie, there's no reason to jump down her throat. You really weren't very clear. If you don't want to hear people's opinions then don't post. From the way you SOUND, he probably would have left anyways.

hormones ladys.. control them..lol
dont judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.. :) hugs to all kiss and make up.. shitty your bf did this to u lady. welcome to the loser bf club. most of us are in the same situation....... but you know what the best part of being single and pregnant is...... your FREEDOM!!!! you can do what ever you want, god i love it.................. dont have to answer or pick up after anyone... men are only good for sex anyhow.. some arent even good for that..............:) the reason women werent born with a penis.. means you can never be a dick.!!!!

lol enough said...

The best thing you can do at this point, for your child is try to relax. Take things one day at a time. When I was pregnant and could finally feel the baby moving the baby could sense my emotions. When I would get all angry that my ex had left me or angry at whatever my baby would kick me REALLY hard. When I was in a relaxed mood with lots of love in my heart she would kick me lovingly and follow my hands with her elbows or hands or whatever is is that moves across the stomach. And when I was sad and was crying she would become very quite. Don't worry about him right now, just try to focus on loving your child. Remember that the baby can sense what you feel. While he's gone take the time to work on yourself and your new life. I know it's hard, but believe me women have so much more strength than men!

thank u trudy. thats the same thing my mom tells me. she says however u r during pregnancy has a lot to do with what kind of baby u have. if u spend the whole thing crying and upset then the baby wont be a very happy one. but if u remain upbeat and as happy as possible ur baby will be the same way. i try to remember that everytime i get the urge to cry but its so hard. maybe as i get further along and can actually feel the baby move i will have something to be happy about. thanx again

Military wife.... you jumped down Lady's throat first... maybe you should GET all of the facts before you just assume things... and here's something to think about... she wrote this on a SINGLE and pregnant forum... why would she post this in this particular forum if she was married?!

Lady.. I DO think it's selfish of him not to even discuss this with you... especially with a baby on the way. Heck I didn't even think they'd LET you IN to the military if you have a baby on the way. I just really think it's funny how military wife thinks she knows your situation and what your boyfriend is thinking. I hate to tell her, but some guys really ARE just jerks and DO only think about themselves. My ex is a perfect example of that. Anyway, just hang in there. This situation will probably work out for the best. While he's missing out on everything, you'll be there for everything, and have 100% say on how your child is raised. You won't have to worry about him/her turning out like the father.

My ex BIL went into the army when she was 5 or 6 months pregnant. He did it to "provide" for them. Well, the ENTIRE TIME he was stationed away from her (about 2 years) he was having an affair. This girl would even answer his cell when my sister would call him! Well, she was in denial about the whole thing. Yes, some men will do things just thinking of themselves...LIKE JOINING THE ARMY TO GET AWAY FROM A SITUATION!! (*hint hint Mililary wife) My sister is obviously divorced from him now. It took 2 days for him to marry the other girl after the divorce was final. It was a crappy thing for him to do, Lady. I think it was selfish and unfair You and your baby deserve better anyway. Even if you meet a man that's great and loaded, sue your exes' ass for child support. I hate men like that. Thank God I never got pregnant with any of my exes'. They were losers too.

thank u april and mommy (feels funny calling u that lol) for coming to my defense and on the incouragement. i do try to look at the brighter side of things but boy is it hard. i just wanted so bad for my baby to have both its parents as i grew up with only one. but april, u are right i do not want my child turning out to be anything like him.