• Week by Week
  • Sex and Pregnancy
  • Weight Gain
  • Exercise and Nutrition

New to the forum? Sign Up Here!

Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password? Need Help?  
Learn and Discuss About...

Unplanned Pregnancy And Not Sure... How Do You Decide?

2 posts on this thread and the last post was on February 25th, 2009 9:17 PM
There are currently 4873 members logged in.
kritter328 - February 22nd, 2009 1:52 AM
 [Original Post]

I recently found out I'm pregnant. Only about 5 or 6 weeks. The father is my boyfriend who I've been with a little over a year now, and has just recently moved in with me. I love him very much, and we talked about having kids someday, but were not planning on it now. I was on the pill and got very unlucky. Anyway, he is totally supportive. Actually, he was excited at the news. Anyway, I have already been through divorce in the past. I know that even though he says he wants to have this baby with me, we are not married(and even if we were, there are no guarantees). If i decide to have this baby, I need to be ready to do it on my own. I am 28, not a baby. I have always wanted children. I guess I wasn't expecting it, but why not now? However, I am not feeling sure. I feel terrified at the thought of how my life will change and uncertain of whether or not I'm ready to make this commitment. Is it normal not to feel certain what to do? Does everyone have these fears? I am not having the immediate urge to run out and have an abortion, but I definately don't feel elated about the thought of having a child right now. How do you decide what to do? Does it suddenly just become clear?


libertyl1 - February 22nd, 2009 11:11 AM

What you are feeling is normal. I think every newly pregnant Mom, yep you are a Mom now, has the same feelings. I think even in the best of circumstances there are the fears, wonders and anxieties. My first child was when I was 17, single and scared! I did do it on my own with my son. I am now 30, have been happily married for 9 years and I am pregnant with #4 who will be here in about 2 weeks. Yes, you guessed it, I was scared about this one too! I think it is just a natural part of learning you are pregnant. You are right that there are no guarantees but there never will be no matter your age, whether you are married or single or whether or not you will be hit by a bus tomorrow. Life is like that but remember some of the greatest joys in life are the ones we never saw coming! Hope that makes you feel a little better anyway!

Kim123 - February 25th, 2009 9:17 PM

Hi. This is tough...it is. I got pregnant at 19...my boyfriend left after a month and believe me...I wasn't ready at all. The thing is, having a child is a huge decision and it is going to change your life so much. It seems to me that you have your life together and if your boyfriend seems excited about it than just go with it...don't think about what could happen...you'll just have to deal with it if it does so there's no sense in worrying about it now. It is very normal to feel uncertain and scared...and its tough in the beginning because you don't really feel pregnant...just wait until the baby is kicking inside of you...it's going to be the most beautiful feeling in the world! You can't plan everything....you just have to embrace everything that comes your way and you know what...you'll be just fine!