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Do you really love him? I mean are you really in love with him? Sometimes after years of marriage you find security and the you are in the relationship by habit. He may have changed but it sounds like you have also changed. Changes can be for the better but with these changes you may have learned more about yourself. I don't know how healthy or unhealthy this is for your children. It is a matter of what have you and your husband told them and how do you two communicate in front of them. What message do you want to send to your daughters about relationships? I am not trying to be judgemental. I also have 3 children (16,12,8) and have been separated for 3 years. He sees his children everyday and still particpates in my families gatherings (holidays...). He eats dinner at my home and we do some things together with the children. I allow this because he has no family, his children are his family. But I realize I have a safety net with him. When things are bad and the full circle comes back around we always complete the circle and meet one another. Financially he is a good provider. He has become a wonderful man and made many changes. But I have made changes, there are things in my life that I want and expect. I want to go out on dates without our children, I want massages, I want passionate sex, I want to watch a lifetime movie and get into the movie with him, I want to watch sports with him ... I have dated one man outside of my husband and I know these things exsist. I try to do these things and it just doesn't seem to happen. He'll go watch a movie in the other room and if not speaking about the children his communication consist of "oh okay, alright..." short sweet not interested responses. Our problems began when he had an affair,internet, anger issues..... multiple things. I think the bottom line is our insecurity and the fact that we are not able to let go of our security blanket in life. Maybe you should speak with him about the hardship if he is approachable. If he really cares he will not want you to go without and should be happy to change the paperwork to reflect what is fair to both of you. Talk with attorneys (free consults) and see what the law may allow before approaching him, so you know what you can negotiate with. In my case I have custody. He has daily visitation everyday and can not be excluded from participating in their events. In lieu of childsupport he pays the mortgage until our youngest child reaches the age of 21 and my car note until paid off so I will always have a home and transportation. Just explore your rights and options. Also think long and hard about the message you are sending your children and about what you doing to yourself. Right now you are only getting your husband part time. There are many good men who will accept you and your children. But work on yourself first and then work on a healthy relationship. Good luck.

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