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darling darling darling...
your situation is, i'm very sure, many women's nightmare. it is absolutely no wonder you're feeling the way you are. it isn't the happy romance we watch on tv or read about growing up. you met someone you liked who was single, who you trusted and expected to treat you right. and circumstances changed, but also you're wondering if he was really over her when he started dating you. no one wants to be the rebound person, and pregnancy makes it even harder to be on the out. its hard to say, and one reason it's always advisable to have time off between relationships. but that's water under the bridge right now.
right now, you need love and support. any friends or family in the area? old coworkers or schoolmates? pregnant women groups in the area? you seem like a very strong person, and it's ok to need help sometimes.
if posting at 7am, i'm guessing someone had a sleepless night. you poor thing!
i find myself wondering why he would tell you about the baby on sunday. he sounds like a dolt. many guys are, not realizing how their words or actions will affect other people. and when those insensitive dolts come across strong women who shield their emotions and seem to be ok / have it all together, they seem to become more oblivious. it's like someone has to remind them that strong women have feelings too.
i think it will help you to try to identify a source of regular support that does not include this guy. it doesn't sound like you can count on him - he sounds very confused. he probably wants to do the right thing, but even guys with one pregnant woman on their hands have a tough time figuring out what that is, much less two pregnant women. you're going to need the support people, not just now but postpartum also, at least initially. if you can afford it, you may want to consider hiring a postpartum doula (or make him pay for it!).
i've found that sometimes it helped me to help others, to take my mind off. when i felt down, i used to call a sister who i know is terrible at listening - making it impossible for me to talk about me. but she's good at talking, about her own problems. but in the right mood, it made me feel better listening to her problems, because at the time her problems dwarfed mine in comparison. there's always someone in worse circumstances, as they say.
for some people, it relieves stress to make plans (boy scout mentality). for others, decision-making adds to the stress. which is it for you? have you done your research about labor and delivery? have you decided who you'd like to be your birth partner / support person on the big day? it can be anyone. i recommend picking / asking someone sooner than later, and have a backup person just in case. but it's ok if you don't want to think about these things just right now.
make sure you take extra care of yourself. if you can, do something each day to pamper yourself. favorite food, extra hour of sleep, etc. i don't know what strategies you tried so its hard to suggest other things. but i will say, try to remember that you're not the only one out there, and that other women have gotten through it. you will too. *hugs*
 
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