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that sounds exactally what im going threw. except for the co worker. but we been togehter for 8 years and was trying for this baby for 7 months. im now 6 months pregnant. turned around a week beofre i found and said he doesnt love me ne more. i dunno what it is hun. all i can say is i have had 8 years of this man life and we have been lovers, friend, enemies all in one go and i think thats an advantage. as much as he says i dont know what i want and bla bla bla he hasnt gone anywhere. we still sleep togehter and act together and everything is the same. must just be a freak out thing i dunno. all i know is u owe it to the baby and 8 years to try and fight for what u want. if he really doesnt want u or want to be with u then i gues the best thing to do is move on. but no one can tell u when to do that.. u have to do it when ur ready. just dont put up with the other women. once he is with someone else things change again and thats not on. ne ways keeps us updated. good luck..

Honestly, you sound better off without him. I know it isn't easy raising a baby alone but it will be better if he is gone.. save you all the heart ache and drama. Guys are assholes, they devastate us girls.. If they are man enough to stick their dick in us and get us pregnant then they should be man enough to take responsibility and be a father. Im sorry your crying everyday, i can understand how hard break up is.. especially if you are carrying his baby. My advice to you is move on, go through with this baby and try to cut him out of your life. I don't know how old you are but adoption might be an option for you if you don't want to raise a baby, especially his baby.. Don't let him get the best of you girl.. keep us updated and good luck! :)

Xkarx-I know exactly what you are going through. I have been with my BF/Fiance for almost 8 years (June will make 8 years) and this pregnancy has really been an emotional roller coaster. We break up every week over little stuff. The only thing that he can say is that "It's just not there anymore" which I have no clue why. We have been living together for 4 years and it's just so hard b/c I love him with all of my heart. I moved a state away from my family to be with him and now I feel like I don't want to stay up here b/c I have no one else. There aren't really good job opportunites where I'm from so finding a decent job which is what I have will be hopeless. I just really have to do what's best for me. He has caught several times talking to different women via phone, but I've never caught him cheating sexually. It just frustrates me b/c he says that we don't communicate anymore, but instead of getting closer with me he gets closer with others. I have had 3 miscarriages from 3 planned pregnancies and we were so excited when we found out that the we were expecting again with the baby due in May, but now it seems like this one was not planned and is working out and he wants no part of me. I know that he will be a great father for his son, but I just can't understand why we can't be a good family together. I can honestly say that I cry a lot too and I know it's not good for the baby. I don't have a lot of friends and I hate to involve my family in my personal life. So I just want to thank you ladies for listening and helping me vent. I think we can get through this together. I love him, but I love my son as well and I can't keep going on this unhealthy rollercoaster ride.

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I've been going through a lot not just with the relationship but with the pregnancy as well...I've been on bed rest for 2 months alread and still have 2 to go... :( All I have is time, time to think about everything-which can be a bad thing. I pretty much told him that if he didn't want to help me out (financially) now with the baby that I didn't want him involved at all...and since Monday night he's been calling/texting every day. I haven't answered anything at all (even though it's killing me inside). It's all too confusing and I don't understand his actions...he told me that night-that he was pissed at himself for not saving $$$ and that he needed to figure shit out for himself-what the hell is that supposed to mean? And now he wants to know how I'm doing and about the doc appt...for what? Uuuggghh...it's just too much. What should I do now? Thanks again...and together we can vent and get through it. :)

Oh sweetie
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Now when its should be your most happy moments.
Darling all a can tell you is to let him go, he want to leave. This confusion he has is his guilt slapping him in the face. You don't want to live or love a man who is with you out of Guilt..You have to put it to him plain to him. .That way he won't be confused. Lay it out for him. He has to understand that now he may have changed his mind about wanting a child with you, it doesn't change the fact that now you are having his baby. He wants out because he no longer loves you that's fine, Go but he has to help out with child support and be in the childs life. Oh and YES he's with that co-worker don't let that "we're just friend or I'm confused." crap get to you. If they talk for that long then YES they are together or will be and nothing you say or do will stop it because he's already gone.. LIke I said his confusion is his GUILT slapping him in the face, because he knows he's done wrong by you , but that ok.
You shouldn't worry about losing him, girl you already got the best part of him. You have a little bundle of joy that all yours. Your baby is going to change your world so wonderfully that the father will be the last thing on your mind. Give your love, your hurting heart to your unborn child and your child will heal you in way you never thought possible.
Who know what life will throw in our faces, we alway have to be prepared for the worse and pray for the best. Many blessings to you and your little one.

Sounds like most blokes, and shit theirself when they realise they are gonna have some responsibility. I'd carry on ignoring him until he can sort his stupid head out realise he needs to stop being a dick. In all honesty I wouldnt have him back. He's proved himself unreliable

Update...So I ignored him for a full week...completely. He would call or text and I didn't answer. But he called and caught me at a weak moment (just as I was crying over all of this drama) and I answered. Right away he was like-Why haven't u been answering me and what's going on? I just kind of ignored it and just said because...He then proceeded to say how he wants to be involved with the baby and realizes that he's made this pregnancy really difficult for me. That he was going to support me as much as he could and wanted to buy the crib and whatever else our baby needed. Just going on and on...meanwhile I'm in complete shock...and didn't know what to say. All I said was that I wasn't going to ask him for anything anymore and I wasn't going to beg him. If he wanted to help than great and if not that I would do it on my own-like I have. I want him involved and all but I don't know if I can trust him...he's so irrational at times. So he then asked when my next appt. was and I told him on the 14th and he said ok I will pick u up and take u. SInce the very beginning he's gone to every appt. except the one last week because I was ignoring him. I don't know how to be with him when I see him again? I'm scared of being let down again...I know I'm kind of rambling on-sorry. Any ideas or advice. I just wish things were different and we were still together and somehow working on our family... :(

i'm proud of you. keep that up because he can't use you like that. please be careful though. because when a guy knows a woman is in a weak place, he might use that to his advantage if he wants to. just be wary. and don't rely on him for anything. no use setting up for an unfortunately possible let down.

So after spending pretty much all day with him yesterday...I find myself not being able to sleep and crying. I had an appt. and our baby girl is growing very well...my cerclage is still in place but I must remain on bedrest...not complete but partial. I must also continue with my weekly visits. Atleast the pregnancy is going well...but on the other hand I can't stop myself from thinking about him-thinking about why he's not with me-and everything else that has happened. We had a good day today...we didn't fight or argue. We laughed together which has been a long time since we did. He even called me by the cute nickname he used to call me by...by accident, maybe? One thing that did bother me and made me sad was that his brother came to his house and as soon as he saw me he rubbed my belly and even told him-Look at her belly it's so small for 7 months-u should rub it. And he acted like he didn't hear him but I know he did. Later on I asked him if he wasn't tempted to feel my belly and feel the baby move...he said yes but that he had his reasons for not doing so...and quickly changed the subject. What could those reasons be? The whole way home I could not take that comment off of my mind...and here I am at 3am...still thinking, crying, and being depressed over this situation. I don't know what to do??? I hate this feelings because I'm really trying my hardest to be happy and enjoy my 1st pregnancy but all of this is overwhelming and at times I feel that I can't go on... :(

I had to cut my ex off like he was a bad addiction when he broke my heart and walked out on me and our unborn baby. And just like any bad addiction, its been SO hard to break. I know just how you feel. At first, even tho he said he didn't love me anymore and wanted nothing to do with me, he still came by every now and then. He even came to my first ultrasound with me. But after each visit he'd still leave just the same and offer no support in between visits. Finally, I had to cut him off completely b/c I was a crying mess during that time. Having NO contact with him has been hard, but is getting easier. And to be honest, after 4 months, I DON'T CRY about him anymore. I know its so much easier said than done. But for me, I just told myself letting him get near me just to walk away again was hurting me SO bad and did way more harm than good. I know its hard to swallow advice when all you want is the love and affection you deserve, but baby, you gotta kick him outta your life completely to regain the sanity you'll need for you and your little angel. :)

COLLEEN084: I know what u mean because when I don't talk or ignore him I feel so much better...and when I see him or we go to our appointments and then he drops me off-I get so sad and depressed...I just don't know how to completly cut him off. He's been my 1st everything...I've been with him since we were both 15...I know it's not healthy for the baby and myself to be feeling this way but it's really hard. I don't know anymore...

you see! yep thats the same thing with me! As much as it sucks its SO much less agonizing when he is COMPLETELY gone than when he shows up every now and then. I don't know, me and my ex did not date nearly as long as you but I know you can do it. You're strong and building a miracle of course you can! Maybe if you get mean with him it will help empower you and allow you to more easily wipe your hands clean of him. Get aggressive, but don't throw insults. Tell him there should be absolutely NO uncertainty in his love for this child. You will not allow it. He/she is a miracle and not a mistake, and only needs ppl around him/her that believes that. Period. You can also add that you kicking him out of your life is not about your relationship status, but about the wellbeing of YOU mentally and your BABY physically (after all, when mommas stressed it is harmful for baby). If he cannot understand that his wishy washy tendencies are EXTREMELY hurtful to a pregnant woman than explain to him no further. It's worthless. Talking on deaf ears if you will. In this case you must do as I have done and change your mind to positive thinking as often as you can. Keep telling yourself that its not about you and him anymore. That's what I had to do. No, justice does not prevail always when it comes to matters of the heart, but at least you can know you did the best thing for your baby.

P.s. xkarx, I just thought I'd add that if I sound like I've got it all together, I haven't. I still have the occasional once a week bawl about it. I just wanted to share some advice on ways of thinking that have really helped me through this.

I really try to believe me....but it's extremely difficult. I have been on bedrest for 2 months and have 2 more to go...I have been through so much emotionally and physically...it seems that when things are going well for myself something always f***s it up...I feel like I'm never going to get through this and especially by myself. I feel so betrayed by him because he always said he wanted a family with me and that's the whole reason we weren't using protection for the last 2 years... I would've never put myself in this situation if I knew this was going to happen and he was going to be this way. The night before he left he still reassured me that we would things out with our relationship and that he always wanted a child with me... (we already thought i was pregnant but had taken a test that said negative-and a week later after he's gone-i took another one=positive)...little did I know. He left me and our home and has been such an ass all along...and to top it off has a phone relationship with that co-worker...at times I feel like kicking her a**...but quickly realize that it wouldn't resolve anything and def. not now in my condition....i'm all over the place with my thoughts i know but i have no one to talk to...My family is supportive but I don't like to get them involved in my personal problems and feelings. Thanks again for hearingme out and giving some sort of relief that in the end it will all be worth it....it's just getting through it that is killing me....I don't know what to do and I wish I could just dissapear. :(

Man...what an a**!!! Believe me hun you can talk to me. My ex just called me last night at bar close asking me "What is my baby girl's name?" WTF?!! You don't call in two months and THIS is the first I hear from you? So we're both dealing with dickheads here. Damn them. I wish absent fathers were all sent to an island where they constantly had to wear preggo bellies and raise babies!! :) Lol. They have NO idea what they're doing to us. Gotta keep our heads up tho (well, as often as possible at least!)

Another bad day...just home in bed thinking about all this shit...uuuggghhh...I just want it to be over and I want to stop loving him! He's been such an ass and I still love and want him...can u believe? So have u talked to him? I know u said he left u those messages...keep in touch girl...we're in it together! :)