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we got married new years eve, dec 31 2006.. i moved in with him into his home a week later.. and 4 months later i moved back into my own home. and i have been on my own ever since with my kids... he has 3 kids of his own living with him full time.. and we just seemed to clash from day one of the new living arrangements... all of a sudden all the kids went from having their own rooms to have to share.. my kids have their own tv and stereos and sony playstations etc etc and his kids have nothing.. all of a sudden they were expecting that i get them the same things. and hubby just assumed that i would now become full time mum to 6 kids whilst he did nothing.. my day started at 6am and finished at about 1 am.. his day was go to work and sit on his arse waiting for his dinner to be served etc etc... i dont think he wanted a wife but more so a house keeper and a nanny and cook.. to make his life easier... it took a few months to get back on a friendly basis.. and for the past year things have gone pretty smoothly. we both work all week and we spend our weekends together just as we did before we got married.. but now iv'e had enough. he thinks that i am going to spend my weekends looking after him whilst he sits on the couch watching football etc... i think i am just being used again. he does nothing in the way of house work all week and waits for me to arrive on a friday night so i can get into it... but i want a baby i have my heart set on another baby.. it is all i think about 24/7.. i know i can do it on my own... i was a single mum with 3 kids 6-4 and 1.. now they are 17, 15 and 11...

YES you are nuts! Why on earth would you want him to be the father of your child. And why on earth are you still having sex with him if you have been separated for 2 years!?!? Just because you were a single mom, doesnt mean that has to be your goal at this point in your life. How do you think your children would feel that you wanted to get knocked up for the reasons you give??? Listen, you are 35 and still have AT LEAST 5 years to comfortable be a mom again....what is the rush. Find the right man, and a home where your children are comfortable then have a baby.

Okay that sounded harsh, sorry. You are not nuts, you just need to rethink the situation. Good luck!

i just figure, better the devil you know. it took 3 years from the day i saw a DR about getting a TR till i got the TR surgery. it's now been 9 months since the surgery.. it's not like i woke up one morning a few days ago and said to myself. i want a baby today... i have been hoping for it now for about 4 years.

Have you thought doing a sperm doner? I mean if you are planning on divorcing him why would you want to have a child with him, then you will have to deal with him on some level for probably at least the next 18 years if not longer?

yes, you are nuts and trying to use this man. i hope you aren't able to get pregnant just to use him.

i do find it amusing, though, that you claim to hate being used yet you want to use him. that doesn't make it right, you know. being as old as you are, you should know this by now. and if you accept this man, you accept the children that he has from previous relationships just as you would expect him to accept your kids. you have terrible double standards. be a damn grown woman and divorce him if that's what you want to do and find a sperm donor you can't hit up for money because i'm willing to bet you'd make him pay child support. that makes me wonder about your kids now. if they were just paychecks for you. oh well.

you know what i get for child support for 3 kids... $38.97 a month not even quite 40 dollars, for an entire month... so no i have never thought about having kids for money.. and my hubby aint that great a guy... from the moment he opens his eyes or even before his eyes are open his mouth is wrapped around a bong... smoking dopeand come 4.30every afternoon he is sucking down cans... so much so that most of the time his kids don't go to school cos he has no money for bus fare.. when i met him he and all the kids were sleeping on mattresses on the floor, no couch, no dining table.. no washing machine etc etc and their fridge was an eski.. i went out and purchased the kids all brand new beds and bedding etc gave them a couch, dining table buffet fridge wall units and filled his kitchen with everything you can think of.. i work all week to keep him whilst he drinks or smokes all his money. anyway thats totally beside the point i was trying to make... the urge to have a baby is so strong... even though i want to get out of the marriage i still want to get pregnant first.. and he knows this.. he thinks that if i get PG it will make things better... he thinks that if i'm PG i will move back in again and stay home doing all the house work etc... and then he can claim for dependents to ease HIS money worries.

i do not want to live with him.. i am quite happy in my own home with my 3 boys.. and i am stable with my work, my mortgage is nearly paid off. my boys don't see their dad more than 3 times a year. and they are the ones that made it that way. their dad only lives 20 mins away. what drew me to my hubby was ,, the "i can save you" instinct. that want to help you, mothering quality most women have. i saved him alright. into thousands of dollars out of my own pocket, only to have him expect more and more and him do less and less. why shouldnt i get what i want out of this nightmare. for once. he admits when his kids were little he never bathed them or changed a nappy once.. never gave them a bottle.. i dont want anything from him, money wise or help wise. i dont need it..

teddyfinch, why are you in the single and pregnant section ??????? i come across yr name in just about every section of this site.. mainly digging into ppl who are on clomid without a script. you seem to be right there with your 2 bobs worth no matter what the situation .. and most of the time your answers are very negative and down right rude.. but hey,each to their own... this site is for advice and helpful conversations... why dont you just try that. instead of your picking on everyone. the comment about hoping i cant get PG. well that was just way out of line..

uhh yeah, sorry, but if you use your husband just to get pregnant so you can leave him, you're a whore. honesty is tough, hun.

if you don't want anything from your husband, don't lower yourself to such a level that you use him for his sperm. that's cheap. go out and pick some guy up on the street. at least that doesn't make you a whore and a bitch =) and i am here in this section because it is an open forum. i can post where i like and give opinions where i like. you don't like it, go use your little man whore at home to tell you you're right all the time. and obviously you don't read much of what or where i post because i haven't dug into anyone that takes clomid u/p for a loooong time. you might think my opinion's worthless, but how many women, single or otherwise will think you have the greatest idea? i'm not rude, i'm brutally honest. and you can get all weepy all you'd like for me saying i hope you don't get pregnant from this. if all you're doing is using this man to get pregnant and then wanting to leave, you don't deserve to have his kid. at least say you'd make an effort to try if you guys did get pregnant. you just make yourself out to be the bad guy when you say what you've said. i'm not hoping you never have kids, i'm just hoping not from this guy if you're only using him. geez as old as you are, you'd think you were more mature than this. have fun trying to pick what you can about me, though. i couldn't care less what you feel about me and i will keep telling you exactly what i think of you. here's hoping you grow up a little.

oh yeah, meant to say, if your husband agrees then i guess he's the idiot for not knowing better. but don't fool him into thinking that getting pregnant will make things better. you clearly have issues with his kids and you also have issues doing things for your husband. welcome to the real world. wives do things for their husbands. if you don't like it, you should have either chosen women or stayed single. i know your type and i find you amusing. you come here with your bullshit story of how big of a bitch you are and you shit on people that don't tell you that you're doing the right thing. i don't care. you're such an old fart you shouldn't need that anymore. now 35 year olds aren't old, but for you to come here and need that type of attention like a teen? yuck.

I don't want to get in the middle of an arguement here, but I can kinda see how jodi is just wanting to get the one thing she really wants from all she has given to a man who does not deserve to be given anything. As far as right or wrong, that's not for me to say. Being 35, you know there is not the luxury of alot of fertile years ahead to meet something else and ttc. If he really wants to have a baby, he should probably cut back on the dope, that can really effect his sperm count. I'm sorry you are in such a tough situation. Is there any hope of fixing the marriage at all or has it gone to far?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JODIE!!! You described your husband as a complete and total loser and despite you want his sperm. That is just sick and wrong, and you owe it to any potential child of yours to DO YOUR BEST in finding a decent guy. You want another loser dead beat dad to add to your list of ex sperm donors? I understand the urge to have another child, but man, you can do better than the lowest of the pit I am sure. Sort yourself out, get a proper divorce and put yourself back on the market! Good luck!

PS I am sure your other 3 children can attest (and are living proof) of how sad and disappointing it is to have a dead beat dad. And yet you want to knowingly make the same stupid mistake again...? Think about. Every child deserves a loving, caring and providing father, sadly they all don't get one, so do your best and find one!