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PS I am sure your other 3 children can attest (and are living proof) of how sad and disappointing it is to have a dead beat dad. And yet you want to knowingly make the same stupid mistake again...? Think about. Every child deserves a loving, caring and providing father, sadly they all don't get one, so do your best and find one!

Okay for arguments sake Jodi, lets change this around a bit. How would it sound if a man say, man I have the urge to have a child so: I am going to try and get my wife (who I am separated from) pregnant. She smokes dope all day, downs beer every night and doesn't provide one bit to her 3 kids. They are dirty, uncared for, don't go to school, shower or the doctor cuz she is too lazy to get off her as* and provide for them. But she can prioritize for her dope and alcohol and pay for her cable tv. The dirty laundry piles to the ceiling cuz she doesn't have a washing machine and her kitchen is literally a health hazard, but hey, I have an URGE, so I am going to just do it! OKAY BACK TO REALITY. How stupid does that sound? And how damn selfish!!! Yuck

whoooa. just read what i posted. i should not post pissy late at night lol. wayyy worse than i usually am. **clindholm** i understand she felt used by her husband and wants this in return, but she chose to buy his kids what she did and if she jumped into this marriage so fast she didn't know he wanted a house maid rather than a wife, it was her fault too.

ok to start with, i knew him and dated him for 5 years before we got married.. and for the year leading up to the wedding, he got off the dope, reduced his drinking to an occasional drink on a sunday arvo, we decided to get married as i had the beginnings of bowel cancer. i had 2 surgery's, and avoided doing anything more. he changed almost overnight after we wed.. the man i was engaged to was a completely different man to the one i ended up with.. he was with his first wife for 14 years before marrying and after 6 months of marriage she took off with someone else.. now i understand why.. i noticed a big change in him the week i moved in. and i wanted to leave after just 2 months. i left after 4.. and since moving back into my own home again, things settled down. we spend all weekend together.. not the way i like to though.. as explained earlier... i already am living on my own.. i am married to him... why should i go risk a disease from a stranger. and end up with a child, who will one day ask who's my daddy. and i won't know.... and thats not a whore... but having a child to the man i married makes me a whore...?????

No of course it does not make you a whore. It makes you look like a fool because you know he is a loser and will be a dead beat dad and yet you still want to reproduce with him. I am sorry, but get a life! A new decent partner does not mean AIDS!!!!! Get your life sorted, make yourself desirable to a man who is able to love and provide for you and another baby, otherwise just be happy and blessed with the 3 children you have.

jodi: using a guy for any reason makes you a whore. sorry =D if you don't want an std, go find a nice sperm bank. i mean your husband is pretty much only going to be a sperm donor, so what's the difference? i suppose whore could be a tough name for you. i would say desperate better describes you.

Jody, really a sperm donor would be the way to go. I don't think you are a horrible person because you want another baby so badly. You have been through alot to try and make it happen and now your relationship is failing. But, if you are not willing to even consider spending your life with this man.(and I don't think you should) Then a sperm donor or maybe try and find someone new and better. Do you have funds for a donor? If not then you should research and see how much it is and a good agency and just see if it is right for you. Divorice and kids are no fun...it can get so messy! Unless he gives up his parental rights then you will have to deal with him for atleast 18 years!

I say you do what makes you happy!!! This is your life and if you feel getting pregnant from him then do you! Everyone has their own opinion and if you are going to get pregnant and raise a baby on your own GOD BLESS YOU!! Let us know when you are prego.....

i have to say i think malaya's comment was rather wishy washy and a bit useless in my eyes. can you imagine what kind of place this world would be if people just 'did what they want' all the time? i think sometimes serious things like bringing a new life into the world should take a little bit more thought process than 'i'm gonna just do what makes me happy'. fair enough if jodi was saying 'should i lose weight or not'? then i would probably understand the 'do what makes you happy' reply, but not when we are talking about using a man to get pregnant and then divorcing him.

funny that if a guy came on here and said he wanted to use his wife for one last child and then leave her, everyone would jump down his throat and call him a womanizer and say all sorts of lovely things, yet people are all for a woman using her soon to be ex-husband just for his sperm and it's ok? i hope jodi's husband left her before she got a chance to use him because i'm sure if she ever gets pissed at him she'll hit him up for all the child support she can get from him.

try to get preggars and then suck him for all the child support in the world - that's what i did. I never have to work, the song "Gold digger" was written about me!

And Teddyfinch, you annoy the crap out of everyone. :)

ahh hayley. at least i'm not such a chicken shit that i have to make up 4 names to hide behind like you do =) and we're all entitled to our opinions. i don't have to support a whore just because it's a woman. if you don't like that, stick it up you're butt =D

**Totally O/T** Hey Teddy, I haven't read all the threads here, but I just skimmed through the 'one night stand' thread, and your posts in response to that aj guy -from back in Feb- had me laughing pretty hard. Can't say I agree - or disagree - with you all the time, cuz I haven't read enough of your posts, but that one is a truly enjoyable case of awesome & fiesty!

lol thanks gummi. i tend to go a bit overboard at times.

I have great sympathy for your situation Jodi, in fact, I am in the same situation myself.

I have wanted a baby desperately for years, and have waited and waited, first of all in a 4 year relationship waiting for the guy to be "ready" - whatever the hell that meant!!! anyway, needless to say, he didn't get there, and, although I loved him, i had to leave him because I wanted a baby too much and couldn't wait any longer. I then had another situation which was exactly the same (though only 2 year - wasn't as patient)

So I have now decided to do it alone.

I have considered a donor, but, having looked into it, it would cost 2,000 pounds and, as you all know, having a baby is expensive and incredibly hard on only a single wage, and I want that money for my baby. So I contacted my ex boyfriends and asked them to donate, with no financial or emotional expectations (in fact I'd rather they weren't involved - there are generally reasons why I break up with people!!) and one of my exes agreed. We didn't get along too well in the end- he wasn't reliable, but that's ok for what I want. I am not pregnant yet, but we are trying.

So, Jodi, I understand, I don't think you're mad, and, if you are having your baby for the right reason and you can support your baby with love (and financially) and have other family support, then go for it, and good luck!! (to us both!!!!!)