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Married 13 Yrs, Having 3rd Child And He Chooses Meth

4 posts on this thread and the last post was on March 13th, 2009 10:05 PM
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delisamw1977 - March 12th, 2009 9:18 PM
 [Original Post]

I am 31 yrs old. We got married 13 yrs ago, a lifetime for someone our age. We have been blessed with 2 sons and in 3 wks I will give birth to our daughter. He left in September of last yr to take a 5 month long job in another state to get us out of debt since most of the jobs where we lived had laid off or closed down. We worked out a budget of how much he was to send back to me and the kids everyweek. By the end of the first month he was there the money completly stopped. Found out he was arrested. Now 4 months later hes just living from here to there strung out on meth with no care or concern for his sons or his daughter who will be delivered by a csection in about 3 weeks. So stunned that someone you thought you knew could change so fast. I refuse to take his phone calls havent spoken to him since Christmas Eve when he told me if I didn't shut my mouth about him sending money for the boys( it had been 2 months and not a penny) he wouldn't send us a dime until a judge ordered him too. I guess spending his money on getting high comes before his kids eating.... I just don't feel he has a right to be there when shes born. I mean he hasent cared this whole time. Just wondering if this was the general shared opinion of someone on the outside looking in.

moomoosmommy - March 12th, 2009 10:32 PM

You know maybe when he sees her for the first time he'll remember his family and remember how much he loves you guys. Sometimes people get derailed for awhile. I can't assure you that things will just change but he needs help and maybe your baby girl will make him see that. :)

clindholm - March 13th, 2009 9:33 AM

Wow, after 13 years you'd think you knew someone. You must feel so betrayed and hurt. Addiction takes over a persons life and the only thing that's important is the next high. That is certainly no excuse for what he has done to you and his kids. I would divorce him and as he said- have the judge order him to do so. He is no use to you now anyway. I hope you have family and friends to lean in during this terrible time. Good luck with the birth of your little girl.

kimberly - March 13th, 2009 2:11 PM

Meth totally takes over someones life, as it has his. Sad really, but nothing you do will change his addiction unless he wants to change it. Divorice him and get child support and no I wouldn't let him come to the birth. Like you said he hasn't cared so why should he be a part of it. Honestly I wouldn't let him see the kids right now anyway, hes probably not the best influence for them all strung out. I would let the courts handle it.


delisamw1977 - March 13th, 2009 10:05 PM

Thanks for all of your comments. I do have family who is there for us and that me helps so much during a time like this. Of course they feel I should divorce him, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone un-biased. I just look at our little boys and just wonder how that in itself isent enough even if he doesnt love me. But me and my little ones will be ok. I guess thats why they say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger and I dont feel like dying yet... thanks again :)