such a sticky sticky situation :(

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Such A Sticky Sticky Situation :(

2 posts on this thread and the last post was on August 1st, 2009 3:18 AM

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jlynna25 - July 18th, 2009 9:35 PM

[Original Post]

I have been with my boyfriend for over year and a half. I should also mention that im a mommy to a beautiful 6 year old boy from a previous relationship.
So, heres the story,
about a year into our relationship we had some problems and i broke up with him only to regret it and we got back together two weeks later.
Well i guess he was so heartbroken or whatever that he found solace in the arms of his ex gf and they ended up sleeping together. I had no idea about this untill a month later, after we were already back together, he comes to me and tells me shes pregnant... Gutted! VEryyy hard time in my life but i decided to stick it out and stay with him because i do love him and i forgave him.
But now, 7 months later i find out IM pregnant!
OMG..Major blow in my plans..not what i had expected at this point in my life..
Needless to say bf is freaking out.. when i first told him the news he told me he thinks it would be smartest to get an abortion but he wants me to make the descision that will make me happy...he told me to think about it for a cpl days...Im religious and completely against abortion i feel its wrong with every fiber of my being and when i told him i absolutely wouldnt do it he flipped out and told me im stupid and then accused me of doing this to him on purpose and basically making me feel as bad as he possibly could... he said he wont leave me but i do not feel i have his support and i feel so completely alone and depressed. I feel so bitter towards him presently for making me feel like im a devious coniving bitch for doing this to him...
I KNOW im in a tangled mess but any advice would be so appreciated..i havnt told my family yet

Grandpa Viv - July 19th, 2009 9:16 PM

He is a careless ejaculator. Don't let him lay any guilt trip on you for getting pregnant. Did the other girlfriend get to keep her baby, or did he persuade her to have an abortion too, and if so, why did he even bother to mention it?

You have no illusions about what is involved in raising a new baby. If he does another vanishing act, can you do it by yourself one more time? How does that decision rate against the guilts you think you will carry if you terminate. Your depression suggests that you feel you can go through with this pregnancy only if you can be assured of his continuing support.

There are many women who share your feelings about abortion, but once they have found out what is involved in single mothering, they take a more pragmatic view of the issue. The guilt of termination has to be weighed against the guilt of further messing up your life and that of your son. Good luck!

kriswill727 - August 1st, 2009 3:18 AM

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I believe every baby (from the moment of conception) is a gift from God. There are many women that would give their right arm to be in your shoes. Im not for abortion even though I am pro choice, although I have had one. It is the toughest decision any women has to make. I think abortion is ok (not good just ok) during certain circumstances. But not as a form of birth control. If you want this baby, your going to have to stand your ground. It will get worse before it gets better, be prepared. He may say some pretty hurtful things to try to get you to "see it his way".

You are in a really jacked up situation, to say the least. If you choose to keep your baby and he still stays verbally abusive I would leave at least for a little while at least until he gets used to the idea of a baby with you. Since he's cutting you down emotionally thats not only hurting you but its hurting your baby. During my pregnancy with my daughter I was in a really messed up situation! I was crying all the time, throwing up because of my nerves not morning sickness and in and out of the hospital getting I.Vs due to dehydration from stress. You don't want that.

So my advise to you is think about what YOU want to do about this pregnancy. Have it and be a family, raise it alone, give it up for adoption or abort... Sleep on your choice and if it still feels right in the morning go with that answer! :) It will all be ok in the end. Life has a funny way of working itself out!

Good luck to you,

Kris

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