together 4 almost 6 yrs n he treats me like the other woman

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Together 4 Almost 6 Yrs N He Treats Me Like The Other Woman

3 posts on this thread and the last post was on January 12th, 2009 5:28 AM

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jadey mae mommy - January 4th, 2009 8:58 AM

[Original Post]

Me and my ex have been together for almost 6 yrs. We have a beautiful 3 y/o baby girl and I have had the pleausre of helping him raise his oldest who is now 10(I been in her life since the age of 4)

About 6 weeks ago the day after thanksgiving I found some text in his phone from a highschool ex girlfriend. Hours later he was on his way to Florida to see her out of anger and him walking out the door and a heated argument I annouced to him I am pregnant of course he left anyway probably not believing me and thought I was giving him a pitty story.

He gets back I put his things out because quite honstly he has not been the best guy for me. When my daughter was born he promise to marry me but later down the line made it a point to let me know and everyone else that he would NEVER marry me. There where many nights where he did not come home. There where plenty of times he called me out my name and said some of the meanest things I have every heard and that just a jist of it he done so much more over the years. In short I know I should have broken it off long ago but I was so in love with him and wanted it to work because of the kids and when he is focused he is such a Great guy and it makes me remember why I feel in love with him in the first place.

Well here I am almost 12 weeks and he treats me like the other woman. He sees our daughter almost every other day but when it comes to me he still constantly puts me down. I call him to ask him to help me with things around the house (I am unable to lift such as a 50lbs bag of dog food etc) and he never shows or calls. I ask him to attend appointment he never comes. Pretty much is like I don't know who he is and it hurts so bad he is treating me like this. He's a complete jerk but then I see him and his suppose to be new friend on myspace all hugged up and she constantly sends me message saying how much they are in love and they are going to be together. She even has pictures of my daughter on her profile. Keep in mind we only been broken up about 6 weeks this started less than a week after the break up.

He goes on with life still partying,drinking, and I know he developed a snorting powder problem some months back which was a big cause of us arguing so much. Plus to mention he almost 31 and I just thought by now he get it out his system and finally want to settle down and be a family but he still has some growing to do.

I just feel so along and deep down inside I just want him here to hold me and says its going to be o.k. I just want him to be here for that first ultrasound and see our little blessing. I want him to enjoy how beautiful pregnancy is with me. I just want him to love me like he use too. Again I know he not the right man for me and he hurt me so much that I was unable to make it work with my child soon to be children's father. I feel like somehow I failed even know I tried to do everything right. I have a huge support system of a mother, sisters, and lots of friends yet the one person I was for support is not here.

I am glad this site is here cause it makes me feel so much better knowing there are other woman out like this and some of these situations are way worse then mine but at times I would just like to know its going to be ok even know I know in the long run it is. I cry a lot and try not to call him and all my friends (we share the same circle of friends) keep saying he going threw something and give him his space and he turn around and be back and its not him but the drugs and drinking. He is a great father and I am sure he will continue to be a great father its just his mindset is that of a 18y/o sometimes.

Sorry for the long story I was just needing to vent everyone keeps says it going to be o.k. but only my mother can symtaize with me and one close firends whom when pregnant where also left alone only for the father's to come back when they where close to delivery and I don't want that.

Skyeblue - January 8th, 2009 4:33 AM

Dear Jadey, what a horrible story...but I think you already know the answers and what you need to do...its just finding the strength and motivation to do so and right now you are at a particularly vulnurable and weak time being a pregnant single mom with an ex who is rubbing it in your face constantly. So here is what I suggest. You need so surround yourself with people and places that GIVE you energy not TAKE it. How fortunate to have mom and friends!!!! Many people have no one. Can you get into some easy going therapy, talk to a professional to help you through this ruff bit? Can you stay with your mom or she with you? Do you work? As hard as it is, you know you need distance from your ex. You need to stregthen yourself with him totally out of the picture. Remember, even though you love this man, it seems from your post that you two have been bad news for a long long time. I assume the pregnancy was not planned and therefore he is being even more of an a s s...There are so many good and positive things to do and think....its just getting there. You can do it. You have a support group and you seem to see things clearly!!! Ignore him and his new chick, dont try to suck him into "being happy" about this pregnancy as it won't work....at least for the time being. If and when he does call, try your hardest to not be emotional, just RATIONAL and straight forward. You will get over this, you know you will!!! HUGS

Quantess - January 9th, 2009 5:36 PM

There is a good man out there that will love you, but you probably haven't met yet. Even though you and Mr. Wrong have a child together, and another on the way, I hope you can get enough courage to decide that he isn't good enough for you. He will always be the father, but I hope you can draw the boundary line there. Please don't ever have sex with him again. He's big trouble, and having sex with him will confuse your heart. For being 31, he sounds like an immature twit. His new girlfriend might figure out that he's a tool, but even if she stays with him, there is absolutely nothing to be jealous of because this guy sounds like a dud.

It sounds like you want to keep the baby. Good luck, and I hope the father steps up and becomes a decent father for his children. I know it's hard, but you need to get over him romantically, and know there is a much better man for you out there. Be strong.

jadey mae mommy - January 12th, 2009 5:28 AM

Thank you Skyblue. Yes I do work and although struggling at the moment I am blessed to have a house, a truck, a job(which is hard to come along these days), and plenty of room for a new baby :) I see my mother almost every other day and talk to her at least 3 times daily. I am doing much better now for the most part I still find myself crying at times but getting a better grib on things.

Thanks so much Ms. Quantess I really do apperciate it and everything you have stated is the right path on which I should start. I am blessed in many ways and there is nothing I should be jealous about because I already have one beautiful baby girl and soon to have another blessing whom I know will bring as much joy to my life as she does.

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