|
Hello Rachel, I would first like to say congratulations!
Pregnancy is an exciting, and scary, experience for every new mom. Being a teen mom can be difficult because of many factors. First of all, you should understand your options. You have the option to undergo an abortion (this sometimes requires parental consent), to place your baby up for adoption (some states require parental notification, you should contact an agency in your area if you are interested in adoption to find out more), or to have your baby and raise it with help from others. If you do decide to keep your baby, you should be aware that you will not be able to realistically do it by yourself for at least a few years. If your family is less-than-supportive of you raising your baby, then they can make it difficult for you to do so in their home with their financial assistance.
You should also be aware that there are new laws concerning minors receiving welfare for themselves and their minor children. Basically, you cannot receive welfare unless you are enrolled in school, taking parenting classes, and live in an adult-supervised household. The state you live in would give your welfare check to the adult you live with and that adult would get to decide how it was spent on you and your child's behalf. More often than not the "adult" you are supposed to live with is a parent or your legal guardian, but you can get around this if you are able to give good reasons as to why living elsewhere (with another adult) would benefit you and your child. (An example of this could be your parent's unwillingness to participate in raising your child).
Another option you have is called emancipation. The process of being emancipated varies from state-to-state, but it basically means that a minor has proven to the courts that they can support themselves and are granted all of the same rights and responsibilities as an adult. (With the exception to voting, drinking, and smoking before the appointed ages). Many states will not even give you the option to be heard in front of a judge concerning emancipation until you are 16-years-old, so you should keep that in mind as well. Unfortunately, this is not a realistic option for most teenagers. You can do research online or talk to a school counselor about this option if you want to learn more.
There are several programs in several states for teenage mothers who decided to raise their babies. These programs are usually for a period of 12 to 24 months, and aim to help young mothers build life skills, learn parenting techniques, get their high school diploma, and receive assistance from other teen mothers. There are also programs called transitional living programs, or second chance houses, that are for older adults (with and without children) that help them transition into independent living. You can call your local crisis agency if you want referrals to these numbers.
Another thing I would like to point out is your age. In many states the age of consent (the age you can legally consent to sexual activity) is age 16, 17, or 18. A few states have rules that allow people under age 16 to consent to sexual activity. You can find out more about this by searching "age of consent" in a search engine. If your state mandates an age above 15 for sexual consent, then your boyfriend could find himself in legal trouble if your child was conceived in the United States. Due to the fact that he lives in another country, this may be less likely.
You should understand that you have the right to make all of the decisions for yourself about your body and your unborn child, but that your parents still have some basic rights over you. In most states, you are considered medically emancipated if you are pregnant. This means you can check yourself into the emergency room, and receive prenatal care confidentially and without your parent's permission.
Lastly, you have the right to enroll in Medicaid (MOMS, Healthy Kids) because you are pregnant. This is government insurance that can help pay for your prenatal care. You also can enroll in the WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) program at your local Department of Human Services office because you are pregnant. WIC can give you all sorts of referrals, and you will also get a card to use at the grocery store to buy some healthy food for yourself. You can stay on WIC until your child is 5-years-old and receive baby formula, baby food, and other helpful items after their birth. These services do not discriminate because of your age.
Now that I've explained to you most of your rights and responsibilities, and your choices, you should understand some other things that might be less obvious to you. Everyone is going to have their own opinion about you and your baby. Some people will support you, some people will object to whatever you choose, and some people will remain neutral. You can't please everyone, but you should do your best to make the decision that best suits you and your baby. I urge you to steer clear of "options counselors" if you are set on keeping your baby, because most of those agencies will push you toward abortion or adoption because of your age. If you decide you want to go through with an adoption or an abortion, you should call an adoption agency or an abortion clinic and ask to set up an appointment. You should also ask them if your parent needs to be present by law before you arrive. Keep in mind that you have the right to change your mind at any point during your pregnancy about what you would like to do, and your parents cannot force you to do anything you do not want to.
You should be aware in full that the United States' government does not condone teenage pregnancy, nor do they want to help support teenage parents. By doing so they are creating incentives for future pregnancies, and because the teenage pregnancy rates have increased since 2006 (the first time in 15 years) there is mass panic. Don't allow anyone to tell you that you can't be a good mom because of your age, but you should understand that you will have limitations. Your parents can control whether or not you get a driver's license, you can't legally enter into contracts (cell phone, credit card, apartment lease), and you aren't eligible for many jobs.
Above all, stick to your guns. Don't be persuaded into anything you don't want to do. I am 17-years-old, and I live in Michigan. I am 12 weeks, 6 days pregnant and my circumstances have been difficult. Each pregnancy is unique, so treat it as such. In the end, you and your baby will be okay.
 
|
