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I really don't know what to say other than I admire your decision to put the child up for adoption. I think what you said at the end of your thread about feeling glad when it is all over will be true. Good luck to you in your future. I hope you reach all the goals in life that you want to accomplish. You gave this child a chance to have a future in this world. Give yourself more credit and a pat on the back. You made one of the toughest, if not the toughest decision of your life. I am sure you will rebound. You sound like a stong willed person going through a tough time in her life. Keep your head up.

Hi I'm sorry you're so upset. Even if it seems like it, this really won't last forever... you are so close!! If you don't believe in abortion than you woulda really hated yourself if you had one. Sometimes you gotta take life as it comes at you and if this is something that you really didn't want just know that it will get better and you will be a stronger person for it. You can hold your head high knowing that you are doing the right thing by giving your child the loving parents she deserves. She will have the rest of her life ahead of her because of you. That really is something to be proud of. Just hang in there... remember things always get better and 10 years from now you will be happy with yourself that you stuck through this and made the right choice.

Despite everything you've given up, and gone thru - you know you're making the right decision for you - don't let anyone make you feel bad for it, or try to talk you out of it. I just wanted to reassure you, that if you were healthy before, you're going to have no problem snapping back, and as for work - you didn't need to be a bartender - and this crazy experiance will surely impact your art in an amazing way. This is just a set back, not a life ruiner! I promise you'll be just fine.

I don't know, that's all stuff I'd like to think, but the reality of the situation is that that way of thinking is a fairytale. The truth is after this is over, I have an enormous amount of work to do just to get back where I was before, and my family will never let me rest for my decision, I'll always be a screw up after this. The people involved in this don't see where I've made an unselfish decision as much as they see that part of my decision keeps them away from her, and they are already starting to hate me for it. Who can blame them? I can see their point of view just as well as my own and I feel tremendous guilt for hurting them like that. I'm trying to arrange for open adoption, but according to the law it can be closed without my consent at any point in time after I sign the papers, and people who are desperate for babies will lie to birthmothers about anything to get their children from them. Adoption is just way nastier of an option than any prolifers would like to let you know about. I don't regret it still, but its very hard. Its going to destroy a good piece of me before its over, its not the win-win situation antiabortionists would lead people to believe. Its a lot to deal with during pregnancy, and I just haven't been doing well at all. I think I'm gonna end up with some pretty bad PPD after all this, wondering if I made the right decision when everyone I care about tells me I have not. I wonder if the life I'm trying to keep intact is just going to suck after all this. I succeeded in giving the baby life, but it came at the cost of my happiness.

Your last sentence jus proves how UNSELFISH you are. While you feel like a part of you is gone, or will be gone, I truly believe there is a silver lining to everything. Yes, I am sure it will take a while to get back on your feet and get to be physically the person you once were. It is also true you will never be mentally the person you once were. That is not necessicarrily a bad thing. We all grow and learn from our experiences. Who knows, maybe 5, 10 years down the road, you may decide you want to be the "mommy type". Things work in strange ways. My heart really breaks for you to hear the hurt you are feeling. I hope you have let the doctor know how you feel. They will be able to get you on an antidepressant. It is nothing to be ashamed of either. I was on one for a few years and it made a world of difference for me. I sure wish I could give you a hug right now. It seems like you need one. One last thing for this post....you are not a screw up. I think you are a very courageos person for carrying this baby to full term, giving it up for adoption and trying to put your life in order. A screw up would be if you continually got PG and had abortions or continually got PG and gave the baby up for adoption. Your family hopefully will come around. It may take years. Just remember you did what was best for the baby and that is what is most important.

Oh my god, ignore that last post. I'm trying to get it removed. She's an idiot. Accidents happen, and it takes ALOT of strength to admit that having a baby is not something you want or can handle. I know what I said before sounds much easier said than done. Let me clarify. I gave up a child for adoption. I did an openadoption - like you are talking about. It was nice, because I was able to see in depth profiles for all of the families, and meet and talk to them. When I did choose a family, they came and saw me several times, and even went to a few of my appointments. It made me feel good, seeing how happy I was making them. I did have the option, of keeping in touch, and getting letters, updates, etc. - but decided not to. When I finally had the baby, I will admit, I was not prepared for how difficult it was going to be - despite the fact that I had no interest in being a mom. My family was very unsettled about the whole thing - and while I don't know yours, I can say that mine came around. Whether they admit it or not, I think eventually they will understand that it was the best choice. I did have to work very hard to get back in the swing of things - but I had teachers that were willing to work with me, I found a new job, that I liked better than my old one, and I'm fairly young (22) so I honestly had no problem getting my body back . I know it all seems impossible, but you'll get thru it - because let's be honest -there's no way out at this point. Think of every day, as 'I just have to get thru this day'. That's all you can do. Like I said, we all make mistakes - this one is just going to take a bit longer to fix than others. You're not different from any other pregnant woman as far as feeling like it's put your whole life on hold - so don't feel bad about that, it's perfectly natural. You're 32 weeks - not too much longer, hang in there.

I agree...ignore that post by "I'm having a girl too!" She is to much of a a$$ to even put her name on the post. The last thing you need is a schmuck like that getting on your case. To Danna...those were very nice powerful things you had to say to Lindsay. I hope she sees an unlimited future like yours. I commend you for making the best of a difficult situation.

All I have to say is WOW!

hey Lindsay - I can sympathize (i'm 37 weeks and miss my old body), but all I can say is if you were healthy and fit before you WILL get back into shape fast. Look at Kate Hudson, she gained 60 pounds in her pregnancy and got back into shape. It's only 9 months and you are doing a beautiful thing - to bring a child into the lives of a couple who can't have children. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but one day you will look back and be proud of what you've done. And by then, you'll be in tip top shape again.

I have a 7 week old and so just completed the pregnancy journey - I still remember the unending - it seemed - pains of pregnancy - I was on bedrest and my body is slowly coming back. I just wanted to say about the adoption that my best friend is starting the adoption process as she couldn't concieve and selfless women like you make it possible for women like her to fufill their life dream - to become mommies- when nature deems otherwise. As I watch her struggle through the adoption process, so afraid to hope that she will finally be a mom ( she's 38 and been trying for years) I know it wouldn't be possible without you and others like you - who put aside your lives for a year to give the adoptive parents a gift priceless above all else. I just wanted to say thank you for all those wanna be mommies out there... god bless you.

I can tell "Im having a girl too!" is going to make a great mom. It is very funny she's ashamed to show her name, I wonder what she's afraid of with all her boldness? She's obviously more nurturing and mature than I am. Forgive me, honey, but I think your child might be better off had you made the decision I did. God forbid she ends up in my situation one day, she'll be one of the poor young girls who aborts to keep the secret from her mom. Guess what? Not everyone is the same, and just because someone is not like you does not mean they aren't as good as you, so get off your high horse. You're emotionally abusive, I hope for your baby girl's sake its an effect of your preg hormones or she's in for a rough life. I know what I am doing is right, that's why I don't regret it, that's why I am doing it however hard it seems. So forget you, you aren't in my shoes, I hope you receive the empathy you give when you screw up, little miss perfect. I do not blame the baby for my being pregnant, thanks for the wild assumption. Had I been in that frame of mind, I would have aborted her and gone on with my life, but I knew she was innocent and deserved her life at any cost of mine. Aside from that, you're very right, my feelings are none of your business. I came here for support, not judgement from people who cannot see outside their own narrow little perspective. I don't need your obtuse sex lecture either. I was on BC and it failed, plain and simple, no fault of mine. I am perfectly aware this sort of thing happens, and what am I doing? I'm paying for it like I should, so seriously, I need your pedantic self-righteous bullcrap about as much as I need a machete to the face. Piss off. To everyone else, thanks for the support. Sometimes all I need is a soft word, not more hate like miss no-name supplied this thread. I just feel very alone sometimes, I hope things turn out well in the end and there is payoff for all the blood sweat and tears for me and the baby and the father. I just wish there was something to calm my mind in the meantime. Thanks esp to Danna...funny, I'm 22 too.

Hi Linsay, your last post says it all. Wish you lots of courage as you go through this time in your life. You just have two months to go, it will soon be over and you will be happy you ever did what you did. Forget the crap she wrote, things like that tend to make you feel worst. I say do not give so much time to think about such idiots that are posted. One last thing, hope you do not stay indoors for long hours, i understand you were on bed reat, just go out at times and have fresh air when u get back you will realise you feel much better and by so doing the days go by faster. Remain blessed and unselfish as you have been. hugs

I am not going to pretend to understand what you are going through, but I tremendously respect you. I hope this helps you in some way, but I thought I would offer you the perspective of someone who was supposed to be aborted. My mother had a horrible car wreck that broke her pelvic bone, and her dr. told her there was no way that I would last full term and be healthy, so she should abort. Like you, my mom couldn't accept that as an option, and her dr. gave her a very hard time about it the rest of the pregnancy, stressing her out by telling her how horribly disfigured I'd be and the brain damage I would have to suffer. Mom said she could handle that much better than knowing she had terminated her child, so she carried me on a broken pelvic bone. I was born healthy as could be, and have continued into a healthy adulthood. My point is, I feel so thankful for my life, knowing that I could have easily not been born. This may sound corny, but whenever I'm depressed, I remember that story, and it makes me feel as though my life has purpose. You are giving your baby the gift of life, and even though you may never know it, that baby will grow into a very thankful adult. You have so much respect from the readers here, and I know that doesn't make the pain and loss of your healthy body any easier. But you also have self-respect, and I think that is the number one factor in resiliency. Hold on to that, because I think you really will make it.

Lindsay, All I can say is you are a much better person than many others out there! Wow!! You keep your head up and you will get through this. You are a great women who give hope to others......by the way nice come back on the last post. Couldn't have said it better myself..F***k them......good luck

Lindsay - I realize that this is a tough time for you. I just wanted to say that even if you aren't raising the child, it will be worth it in the end - worth knowing that you brought a child into this world and provided the child with parents that are able to give her the future that you can not provide at this time. We adopted our first child and I can tell you that your decision to place is the most unselfish decision that you are going to have to make in your life! Are you working with an agency? They should be providing you with counseling - and your family can take advantage of that counseling as well. Please look into open adoption - I know MANY adoptive families in a LEGALLY binding open adoption. You have to find the right openness for you and your family. In fact I know one family that talks more frequently with the birthgrandparents, aunts/uncles than the birthmother (she just isn't ready for the contact yet). I also wanted to say that I know you have made the decision now to place the baby for adoption but you will have to remake that decision after the baby is born. I would encourage you to spend the time in the hospital with your little girl - use that time to say hello (and if appropriate good bye). It sounds like you were very healthy prior to getting pregnant, and I am sure that you will bounce back quickly due to your fitness level when getting pregnant...please keep your head up! You will get back on track, this is just a setback - not the end all! I sincerly wish you a healthy delivery, peace in your decision, and best of luck in your future endeavors! - Lena

lmrod55...what do you mean legally binding? I read that the adoptive parents can say at any time for any reason they think it is bad for the child to be around bparents and completely disappear and theres nothing that can be done bc the bparents sign away their rights and have NO rights to the baby anymore. I just wanna be in a situation where it doesnt have to get like that. I want to be friends with the amother and afather, respect their space, and be a support to them if they need it. I want a very healthy relationship based on respect and appreciation- of them that they are loving the baby and giving her things I cant, and of me for going through all the pain, health probs, and financial terror this preg has caused so they could have a healthy baby girl. Everyone I talk to doesnt see things this way, they argue closed adopt is only way to go and Im expecting too much...pffft. I know there MUST be ppl out there looking for the same situation. arg.