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I have told my doctor I would prefer a tear rather than a routine episiotomy, because I didn't tear or need to be cut with my first two. My midwife had me preform perineal massage and she also used oil to massage the perineal area as the head was coming out. I have heard some say tearing is worse and others says it's better. As far as the epidural goes, every doctor is different and it's situational. I had my epidural at 2cm with my first , 6cm with my second. Usually they want you to get past 4cm and are progressing well.

I had an episiotomy with my first and it was miserable! I have read that a tear is better, but I do not have any experience with a tear. I think they want you to be atleast 4 cm, but sometimes they will give you an epidural before if you are in a good labor pattern. It can slow labor down if you get it to soon.

This is my current extremem fear! I hve heard horrow stories from both tears and epesiotomies (why do people feel the need to share those?). Cutting the side or something might not be bad but cutting that back muscle just seems wrong! I found a great site the other day and I am not sure if scared me more or helped but it did give me some great talking points for the doc. It was at babycenterdotcom, then just do a search. I am still trying to figure out if I am more afraid of the epidural or labor pain, I haven't decided on that one yet but I am pretty sure I do not want an episiotomy. If you do have one, my friend said something about pads that create a cooling sensation, she got them from the hosp.

I had a level 4 episiotomy with my first baby. Sex was horrific for about 8 months afterwards. I then refused an episiotomy with my second baby and tore pretty bad both iside and out. BUT, I was back to normal within two weeks, and by 6 weeks...sex was not a problem. I would absolutely tell anyone that a tear is SO much better than a cut. The reason being is that a tear is just skin...a cut is all the way through skin, tissues and muscle. It will take far more time to heal the muscles than just skin...hands down. My doc doesn't really care when you get the epidural...it has never slowed my labors down...I have never had any issues with them. GL!

I googled your question: "Even the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has come out with a statement that routine episiotomies are not indicated and should not be used. Most women do NOT need them. In our practice, about 5% of women have episiotomies. The main reason some doctors cut them routinely is that they don't know how to protect the perineum and avoid tears. In fact, tears are almost always less traumatic than the cut, and heal easier." My doc let me tear and I was fully recovered by my 6 wks checkup. Probably after 4 wks I was back to normal down there. I had 2nd degree internal & external tearing even though my son was little at 7lbs 4oz. They will give you an epidural at min. 4cm dilated (that's when I got mine!).

I have not had either but I have heard that tearing is better because a tear heals faster then a clean cut. I have had 2 epidurals though and I had to wait until I was at least 4cm before they could give it to me. angeev... I would rather have the epidural then the labor pain. There is nothing to be afraid of with the epidural. It only hurts for a second and then complete relief.

Thank you ladies for your help. I did not know that an episoptomy was a cut through skin, tissue and muscle! That sounds horrible! I will definitely do some more research on this and also talk to my doc about it next week.