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I certainly hope I can go drug free- just so that I can avoid any side effects and I hate needles...but I don't think anyone is wimpy for getting drugs at all. For me it's just a challenge - to do something hard, and my sister did it so I have to be silly and compete. :) Of course, I'll probably wimp after 3 hard contractions. :) Besides, back in the days before epidurals, people used all sorts of drugs...not the best choices, but they did use them. And, I hear all these stories about natural births being not that bad...but it is really different for each person.
Every baby and every body is different...so you should keep your options open and concern yourself with what's best for you and the baby when the time comes.

fefer1- Good luck to you. Sounds like you will make it, have your sister around during labor, that would be a good motivation.

Tanya2- I had an epi with both of my babies. When I went in to labor with my first baby the pain was so bad I couldn't stand it. Once I got the epi I relaxed a lot and could focus more on pushing. Labor wasn't bad after that. I got a epi with my second baby and it didn't numb anything. For some reason it didn't work. I felt every little pain. It was horrible. I remember almost giving up and not wanting to push anymore because all I could focus on was the pain. I am a very big wimp when it comes to pain. I can admit that. Last year I lost a baby boy when I was 6 months pregnant. I had broken my pelvis in three places. It was terrible. I had to give birth to him which was just unimaginable. Of course I was on morphine when I delivered him. I can't imagine what that would have been like to endure all of that pain. So I look forward to getting an epi with my next baby!

babybug , I'm very sorry to hear about your baby boy. That must have been horrible, I can't even imagine what you went through. How far along are you now? I'm sure that everything will go well and you'll have your baby soon in your arms.

Hey Tanya2, as a mom who's had three c-sections I know what you mean. There is that attitiude about getting pain meds, as well as needing a c-section. My SIL had 4 completely naturals, then a c-section. She says she didn't have a real birth with the last one. Funny, the last time I checked she had five real kids, not 4!! Anyway, she just says it because all of mine were c-section and it's something she feels she has "one-upped" me on- and she is one of those people who thinks that giving birth naturally "fulfills her as a woman"- whatever the he** that means- hehe. I just wrote something about this in an answer on one of the other threads (not sure which just now). I had an epi with he first one (ok, I've written this a lot b/f, but... I have scarring of the cervix from an infection after a D&C). Anyway, I'm glad I got the epi, because I didn't know at the time that there was no way he was coming naturally and I'd have just been enduring pain for the sake of enduring pain. I love my birth stories and wouldn't have it any other way (well, the first one maybe- if I'd have known about the scarring, I'd have just scheduled a c-section). Like you said, I have respect for women who can do it naturally, but I have just as much respect for those who need the epi or a c-section! I do have a gripe about people who think that just because they've done it, that it's the most natural thing in the world, and everyone can do it... um, no... everyone can't. Many women died trying before there was proper medical care!!! That comment by your prenatal class doc is hilarious... how easy for a man to spout off about the subject - ROFL:)

I've discovered when it comes to childbirth, it's like a religion...everyone thinks their way is best...and for them it probably is. Don't let what other women do or say affect your self-confidence. You are amazing and strong to choose to carry and nurture a fetus in your womb. You can't get more womanly than being pregnant, regardless how you deliver. Suffering through a painful delivery…just means you have a high tolerance for pain…which is remarkable, but doesn't make you any more or less of a woman. Every women, every pregnancy, and every delivery is different. You do what’s best for you AND your baby.

Thanks CaliTrish and sahmof3, sometimes I read certain comments and sense this but then i think maybe its me being overly sensitive or having pregnant emotions. YOu both are right, having a C, getting an epi or going natural, we should all be proud of ourselves, regardless. Afterall labor is only a certain amout of hrs, but being pregnant is a 10 month ordeal and having babies is a lifetime commitment of unconditional love.

Tanya2- I am 37 weeks pregnant right now. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. But at least I wasn't in so much pain that I couldn't remember giving birth to him or holding him the rest of the day. I am so grateful for that.

Oh, yeah, forgot to say... sometimes pain is a matter of perspective, too. When I was in labor with my first I was pushing and pushing and in horrible pain (this was in about the 20th hour of induced labor). I thought I must be 10 cm. since I was having that strong of an urge to push. I remember thinking, "OK, this is really bad, but if I'm at 10cm I can do it without the epi." Well, because of the scarring I mentioned before, I had only dilated to 1/2 cm.!! So then the perspective changed. I needed the epi right then! I'm not describing this how I'd like to... can't find the right words exactly... but, do you see what I mean? If you are looking at an hour or so of pain, it might seem manageable, but if the end is nowhere in sight, it doesn't seem so manageable! So, sometimes those things happen and you just know you can't go on like that. Also, as others have said, people have different tolerances of pain and some things that work for some, don't work for others. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but... I took Lamaze classes and found them helpful at first, but later when the pain and pressure was really intense they were just ridiculous to me. I kind of retreated into this place in my mind where I was chanting a grunt over and over- sounds weird I know- but my mind just did that to cope- breathing techniques be damned!!! (That was when I was in severe pain and waiting- not patiently- for my epidural). And, I've been told that the only reason the breathing techniques didn't work was because I was not concentrating enough, didn't give it enough of a chance... blah, blah, blah... but my thought is that it just isn't going to work for everyone. I found trying to breathe "right" to be distracting and it made the pain worse. So, I'll finally get to my very basic point... it's different for everyone. Noone can say how much pain another woman was in or of she "gave up" too soon or whatever. I even know some women who got the epi at the very first sign of pain, because they feel that enduring any unnescessary pain is ridiculous and I don't judge them either- my SIL planned for that (a different one than I mentioned before) and with her it was because she didn't want to be so exhausted from labor that she couldn't properly care for her baby. (Anyway- lucky her- she had like two contractions and headed to the hospital (5 minutes away) and went right in and delivered my niece- and said her pain wasn't that bad!) Like Forest Gump said, "Labor is like a box of chocolates"... oh right, life, hehe....

hey tanya I hear ya loud and clear and I am all about avoiding pain before it happens if at all possible. im going to be proud of myself if i can survive vaginal birth. lol. im all about the drugs, everyone i personally know who has had a baby says go for it because ots only gonna hurt more and more. i trust my doctor implicitly as well and that helps to know you are in good hands.

Hi, Tanya2. I am planning a natural birth (in water) because it is what I believe is best. I hope I can do it- and I am trying to have an open mind, just in case. The idea that a medicated birth is "not real" is crazy! This is a difficult thing- no one should make anyone feel bad for their choices. People just can't fight that urge to feel superior! We all end up mommies at the end of the day (or two)!
Ladies, I'm so sorry to hear about some of the tragedies you've endured. I'mso glad you've had the strength to try again!
Take care!

Thanks Olivene, I've heard that the water birth is one of the best ways to go natural. I'm sure you will do it, everyone knows their body the best and just have confidence in yourself. Keep us posted.

venus_in_scorpio, glad to know that there are a few people like me who know they can't take the pain and go for the meds. Last time I had an 18 hr labor, and got the epidural after 10 hrs mainly because it was a Sun and that there were emergency C sections going on so the anesthesiologist was busy. I have a little idea of what the contractions feel like but sure did get to relax after the epi, if you are not too excited you can even nap and have a good rest before the baby comes. Good luck to you.

How far into the whole process can you go before having to make up your mind if you want to continue naturally or get an epi? Do you have to know the minute you are wheeled into the hospital what you want?? I have no clue what to do...so i'm wondering how far into this can I still be up in the air about my decision.
CaliTrish - hey stranger!!! I haven't seen you around in a while! : )

KLT, I think every hospital has different policies on when you can get it, but the one I've heard most often is not before 4cm, but not after 7cm. At least that's the case at my hospital. Although they have been known to make exceptions on the before time! Ladies - for me personally, I am looking forward to the drugs. I'm scared to death of the needle, but even more scared of the delivery without meds! God bless those women who do it naturally, you've experienced something not many women have and I'm glad your hear to tell the rest of us how much it hurt! LOL!

Something we need to remember.Are bodies are made differently.For some women labor is not that bad ,but for others their can be allot of difficulty that can cause much more pain.Most of all it does not matter how you give birth that makes you strong it is the type of parent you become.Mother of two boys and baby girl on the way.