Pregnancy Info HOME

let me be sure I understand - you left the baby in the care of your husband, right? I am assuming he is responsible and capable and doesn't neglect your child, etc, right? Then you did nothing wrong! There is no law saying that it is only the mother and always must be the mother that does the child care. Sometimes in order to be the best mother we can be we need a time out to take care of ourselves so we relenish our energy and can go back to taking care of others.Your mother is out of line for being so harsh on you and I think she sounds manipulative. Do not let her get away with making you feel bad. Now, if you left your child sleeping alone and left him for 2 hours, then that is another story, but If I understand you then you left him in the care of your spouse and you are perfectly fine to do so.

No offence but it sounds like your mom has some issues. You did nothing wrong. Your mom seems to be a manipulative type, so my suggestion is to distance yourself from her when she starts acting that way. I don't know what you ended up doing but next time she says don't bother calling you should do exactly that and when she is ready to talk keep it simple. Let her know that you would never let your child be in any danger and your dh is perfectly caplable of taking care of him, end of story (or whatever it is she is harassing you about).

NO YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER BASED ON THIS. Maybe you should do what the other poster said and don't call her - it doesn't sound like she deserves it by the way she is carrying on! Not a very supportive mother herself by the sounds of things so who is she to judge! Keep doing what you are doing - you and your husband know what you are doing and sound like you love and care for your boy.

You are a grown woman. Even if your mom sees you as a young mom.... you're still an adult. She has no right to tell you how to raise your child. I agree with the other posters... I would definitely distance myself from her. I am 28 y/o and I just now realized that my mom is manipulative and controlling. Sometimes we don't want to see our own mother's faults, but I agree that your mom has issues. As hard as it is, I think you need to stop talking to her for a while and when you do talk to her, keep it brief. Trust me, you don't want to find yourself 4 years and another baby from now with your mom still trying to control you. You teach people how to treat you and she seems to think that it is okay to treat you like that. Distancing myself from my mom was one of the hardest things I've ever done. We were very close and I enjoyed her company in a lot of ways. But it's just something you have to do when you have a mother that tries to run your life. You are NOT a bad mother. Sometimes you need a break, esp when your child hasn't been feeling well for a week!

You can't be a good and happy mom if you do not take time for your self to refresh and just be you. Most would grow resentful of thier children. If this makes you a bad mom than we are all bad moms. What kind of "motherly" example is your mom setting by being so cold to her own child. You're fine, no worries.

My mother says the same crap. Shes just jealous that she was a crappy mother n im not.

No way is that considered being a bad mother. Sounds like you've been very responsible with your baby and you must love him very much. Maybe you mom has some unresolved issues with you and any other children she may have had when she was younger. Maybe she she feels regretful with some of the things that she did raising you and is trying to relive them through you and your family. I think you need to stand up for yourself and I know its hard because its your mom. Tell her that your not an idiot and you think about what you're doing before you do them. Dad was home and perfectly capable of taking care of his son, they're bonding. He's not an idiot either and you are offended that she talks to you like your a child. Maybe not in those words but definitly put your foot down. Im sorry you have to go through that. Good Luck!

I would say your mother has some issues, and honestly, SHE is a bad mother (or having a bad mother moment) to be so harsh and condescending to you. You did NOTHING wrong. Being a mother is a hard job, and honestly, we are BETTER mothers when we do take a break for ourselves now and then. So sorry you had to listen to that. Hopefully she'll come around.

You need time for yourself in order to be a good mother!! The best mothers are happy and always remember to take care of themselves. That includes socializing! Your husband should be ably to take care of the baby just as well as you can (well almost) and leaving your child with your husband is in NO WAY irresponsible. Sometimes it's best for adults to ignore their parents. I have to sometimes. You should not be made to feel guilty about something so incredibly minor. My son is 23 months and my husband and I both go out occasionally with our friends. We have even left him for a couple of hours with a 16 year old babysitter so that we can go out together (only twice in his whole life, but still it was nice). So don't feel bad, your mother is wrong here.

I felt horrible when I first left my child with her father. I went to the STORE. :) This was at about 6 weeks old. Then it came the time to take her to DAYCARE. I felt so horrible that I couldn't be with her 24/7. Then came the tiem when I got back into sports. I felt horrible leeaving her with her grand parents while me and her dad went for an HOUR to play ball. It's normal to feel that way, however, it is a NECESSITY to leave your child for an hour or more once in awhile. By the sounds of it, you are doing a great job! Every mother feels the same way you do, and even though she's your mother, she should respect YOU and your mothering skills.