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I am sorry, you are in a very hard situation! Have you tried giving him an ultimatum, like TOTAL abstinence and AA meetings...? Does he see he has a problem...? With such drinking behavior I can only imagine he is totally off the booze or he won't change. As you have experienced such problems usually gets worse. Does he work? Does he have family around to help you do an "intervention." Has he been in trouble with the law or his job because of his drinking? Sorry for all the questions but I can better advice you if I know some things...

Hi waiting. I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have much advice to give as I have not experienced this, but I would imagine a judge would not give the father custody if you can prove he has a drinking problem and could not watch the children competently. Maybe keeping a log of his drinking and hours would help prove this if/when you go to court. Can you afford to rent a place, pay for day care and work? My advice would be to look for a job (hopefully you have a sitter so you can go on interviews). Then, when you get one, rent a house, put the kids in daycare and hopefully this will be the jolt your hubby needs to get some help. Good lukc and keep us posted

I feel sad for you as I know how hard day to day life can be with 2 so young WITH the help of a spouse, but the drinking issue makes him no help at all. Have you tried telling him how alone and sad you are? If he isn't abusive but just a heavy drinker,maybe catch him when he's sober one morning and let him know you miss him and need him and wish he'd get help to stop drinking. Also, he can't be spending too much time with the kids and maybe tell him how much he is missing as they grow up so quickly. Counselling would be great if he would go with you. Obviously he needs to stop drinking but he needs to want to himself. If you decide it's really the end, I would start looking for work,housing and childcare simultaneously and maybe some community support for women in your situation would be able to help there. The log of his drinking is a good idea too. For the future if you need to prove he isn't fit to be alone with them and also, if you try to make it work, you could show them to him and it might make him think. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and it isn't any fun for the kids but if he stops drinking things could get better. You're living it and know what you'll have to do soon enough.Good luck and keep us posted.

So sorry to hear this! Have you tried the school of hard knocks? Like... how does he get home after his drinking binges? Does he drive? Can you call the cops on him and have him arrested for drunk driving? A judge may force him into a program (and then there's a record so you don't need to be so worried about custody). Have you tried staging an intervention? I'm sure he drinks with some buddies - can you hold a conference with them, his family, your family, and plan an intervention? Marriage is tough, and this is definitely a very very tough spot, but remember his alcoholism is a disease and deep inside he's begging for your help. But, if you literally have tried everything, then I agree with the others - get a job that can support you and your kids, day care, and the mortgage. Then kick his sorry butt out of the house - change the locks, whatever you have to do. You shouldn't be the one to move out when he's the one with the problem. If you get family involved, I'm sure they'd be more than willing to help you out - financially, with child care, and maybe a place to live in the interim. Best of luck!

I totally agree with bubbasmom. I don't think there is a judge out there that would give a drunk custody, or even unsupervised visitation for that matter. Keep a journal of his drinking, and wether or not the kids saw him while he was drunk. And YES! get a job now, then leave and put the kids in daycare. It is pretty solid that he will have to pay child support, so that should help. The sheer fact that you are an educated woman leaves me to believe that you will be just fine on your own. That said, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Do you have any family near by or some close friends that you can lean on for support? Of course you always have all of us as well. If your family isn't nearby, then is it possible for you to relocate to be near them? Please let us know how you are holding up.

Ok, so here's the deal. Depending on how long you have been out of work vs. the length of your marriage you may be able to get spousal support. You also WILL get child support for your 2 children. If you decide to leave him, and child custody becomes an issue, you can ask the judge that your husband has supervised visitation until he completes a AA program and is sober for a certain amount of time. Or for example, you give the kids to a third party and he can go there to see them with another person to watch their well being. All you would need there, is even a witness or two to confirm that his drinking can be detremental to your children. I also believe that instead of you leaving, you should kick his butt out. It is much easier for him to relocate then you, and much easier on your children. Believe me, my parents split when I was about 11 and my sister was 8. It was hard enough to not have a father around, but if I had to change homes too, it would've been that much harder. My father did drink alot, which was one of the reasons my parents split, and I can remember times where he drove us around after he had drank... don't allow your children to have those memories.