Pregnancy Info HOME

I have lived through my share of meltdowns from both of my older children. My youngest son is 5 now and he still has huge fits sometimes. I of course respond to him differently now then I would when he was 2. His thing was throwing screaming, kicking fits in the store when he didn't get what he wanted. What helps him is if I ignore the tantrum (unless we of course are in public, which I then remove him from the situation) I just go on with my usual business like he isn't even there. Eventuallly he realizes noone cares he is screaming and then he will stop. I can then explain to him what he did was the wrong way to act. I know this approach won't work for every child as some are just way to stubborn to stop screaming but it has worked with him. My oldest had his fair share of embarrasing fits too, it is a normal phase but you are right in wanting to control it. I did a reward chart for good behavior with both of my boys at about 3 years old. You could try that too. I have a list of simple chores and then things I expect from them each day and if they get all thier stickers for the week they can pick something fun to do. ( play at park, eat out, ect) Your dd might be a little young for that still. The important thing is to not give them negative or positve attention when they are having a tantrum, because tantrums are usually for attention and any kind of attention rather it be negative or positve feeds thier behavior.

You're not alone. My 2 1/2 year old is also a strong willed stubborn child. She was a perfectly well behaved, well mannered, sweet natured child until she hit 2. Even then, she wasn't too bad until a couple of months ago. She also has developed the loud shriek/ scream/ roar; hateful as a she-bear tantrum when things do not go her way. Plus this applies to things like putting her drink in the wrong colored cup; picking the wrong shirt for her to wear , etc. in addition to the usual not letting her get into everything. With her it is not an attention thing because she gets plenty of that. It is a flat out "I run the show" complex. She has become incredibly bossy. Not only that, but she is worse than a normal 2 year old because she is very verbally advanced. While she is screaming at the top of her lungs - if I don't let her have or do something she wants she is also yelling "That is not nice MAMA. That's not fair. Knock if off MAMA. I don't like you MAMA" You're mean Mama!". We also have the beautiful crowd pleaser if you pick her up in a store because she refuses to leave of "You're hurting me!!! That hurts!! That hurts!!!", no matter how gently you are carrying her. She does it because she knows it gets others to pay attention. In the last couple of weeks she also occasionally will try to hit, although she knows how much more trouble that will bring. Of course 5 minutes later she will come hug you sweet as can be and say " I love you". I just try to remain calm; not give in; tell her her behavior is inappropriate and will never get her what she wants; and ignore her like you do so as not to reward her with negative attention. I just tell myself "It's a phase- it's a phase- it's a phase". I also try to tell myself that it is good that she is strong willed because that will help her later in life. The pediatrician refers to my daughter as the little drama queen and laughs. I'd ignore the nurse- good grief she stuck her with a needle what did she expect? Sounds like you are handling it fine. I think it is a personality thing and we just have to ride it out. Eventually when they realize it isn't going to get them what they want, hopefully they will stop.

My dd is turning two in 2 weeks - and all of a sudden she's gotten really bad. She's been a handful from the start but oh my goodness - lately it's the end of the world if you even look at her funny! We have a 2 1/2 month old baby on top of it - I just have to ignore the screaming/tantrums/pouting/shouting/hitting/biting and give her timeouts. It's miserable but it does end, or so I hear, and comes back when they are teenagers. :) I do notice that the more time I spend with her one-on-one and the more sleep she has the better off we are.

My dd is 20 months old and I think she is beginning the "terrible two's" early! She has been screaming and throwing fits for the littlest things for the past few months. She actually throws herself on the floor! She has always been a drama queen since she was born. She is not speaking very well so I think that adds to her/our frustration. I am just hoping/praying that it's just temporary. I try to ignore her during the fits to send the message that a hissy fit will not get her what she wants. Don't really know what else to do. This child phsychology crap is for the birds.

Clindholm, you just made me LOL!!! Hilarious!!!! HaHaHa! I love what you wrote -- sometimes I do get sick of all the expert advice, so your quote about the psychology crap for the birds is right-on. My DS is 21 months. He has my number big-time. I find myself losing my patience easier with him now, but struggle not to show it. I work full-time and he goes to daycare. When I get him home at 5pm, all he wants is my full, undivided attention. But, I have to get his dinner prepared. We are really struggling every evening now. He is throwing sobbing fits, following me around, bawling crying in the kitchen while I am scrambling to get him some supper. Then-- he has begun to reject anything I put in front of him at dinner time, except bread!!! This is my current struggle.

My son is 2 1/2 also and has begun the fun tantrum stuff. It actually started recently (he was always fairly mellow and his worst behavior would be to go limp when you tried to pick him up)and seemed to appear almost overnight, just like his speaking did and at about the same time,around July 4th. The biggest junk starts over food. If I don't let him have "pizzabread" every night he pushes away food and yells, thrashes in his booster seat, all the while demanding pizzabread (actually homemade pizza on rice bread since he can't have wheat) I usually put him back on the floor and try my best to ignore the tantrum and continue eating, occasionally offering dinner to him, whereupon he starts shrieking again but every once in a while now, he realizes that this is it, if you want a cookie or yogurt and he'll eat a piece of dinner. Then when he realizes that it's something he liked last week, before he became the shriek monster and he might eat the whole thing.Last night I was SURE the neighbors would call the cops when I told him he had to take a bite of salmon before and cookie. He used to LOVE salmon, wolf it down, no joke. He screamed like I was feeding him broken glass. He ate 75% more variety when he was 15 months old than he does now that he can voice his preferences. Also, he will on occasion hit me (only me, yay)when he has to make a transition from fun (playing at the park, our backyard or daycare) to boring things like a bath or going home. I do my best to gently restrain so he can't do it and just move to the next activity but UGH I feel like I am missing something or doing something wrong. When I try to talk to him simply but firmly how I don't like hitting, he won't look me in the eye and just grins and flops and sometimes sing songs and then I want to laugh too. Two year olds can make you laugh so hard one minute and make you ready for the mental ward the next minute. Wow K, your DD sounds like a riot but not when you're in the store, I bet. Oh Ginny, my son is worse when others are around too. He is perfect at daycare and when I get there he starts climbing things he KNOWS he shouldn't and running inside or he'll throw a toy. I feel like a bad mother or something. That nurse had no business commenting on your daughter either. She isn't her pediatrician, not her call at all. Don't you just love unsolicited, unhelpful advice, ack! If I make it to his third birthday and haven't lost my mind, I can do anything...

Cleveland- It's exhausting second guessing what these little monsters think! I work full time too so I know what you mean, there's still alot of things to do when you get home and it's impossible to give them the attention they need. I struggle between feeling guilty and just plain stressed. Maybe it's a Working Mom syndrome our lo's have? Dh and I have also begun the "suck it up" approach. I know, I'm terrible, but I don't want her to be a whiner for the rest of her life either. We are also going through the dinner time meltdowns! What do you do? My lo stands up in the high chair, screams and won't eat. I hate it when our "family dinner" turns into a stress-fest!

Yes- she is a complete riot. She keeps us constantly entertained and laughing. In June, she leaned over to the loud, probably a little drunk, lady at the table next to us at a Mexican restaurant, and said "Lady, you need to use your inside voice". It was all I could do not to completely crack up while I was apologizing. We also discovered last night she is apparently a Democrat. She saw a news clip of the politicians and she says "That's Hilary Clinton- I really like her, she is a nice lady. That's Barack Obama- I like him too. He's going to be President. That's John McCain- I don't really care for him". No clue where she picked that up! We don't really talk politics in our house. Bridget sounds like your ds is a riot too.

I am sooo relieved! I don't know a lot of friends with toddlers, so I wasn't sure how normal this was! And you guys are right, she makes me laugh just as often as she frustrates me. Her late is answering questions with, "I have no idea!" Or breaking onto song and dance. . . in the middle of church. Whew. . .