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Anxious And Angered By Male Doctors And Scrub Nurses
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Sorry to sound insensitive, but you sound a little immature. Male doctors are just as professional as female doctors. Did it ever occur to you that a female doctor could be a lesbian and potentially take just as much enjoyment as you think a male would? These doctors went to school, did internships/residency for years....don't you think if they were looking for a cheap thrill they would go to a strip club or hire an escort? They are professionals, shaving pubic hair is not erotic to them. I am a nursing student and have seen several c-sections where males were involved (whether the pediatrician, nicu nurses, anesthesiologist, surgeon, etc) and there was not a hint of innapropriateness. You cannot completely avoid male doctors. The only precautions one can take is to ensure a female is always in the room and for you to go. Maybe you should seek some counseling. I see a male doctor and my partner goes with me to appts, and my partner seeing him do an internal exam has not affected his attraction to me, and I feel just as comfortable with a male as I would a female. |
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Oh and your wife will be completely covered. Her chest (up to her neck) will be covered with her gown and they will put a blanket on her, her legs and private parts will be covered with drapes and/or a sterile blanket, and her tummy (with the exception of where they're doing the incision) will also be draped leaving a box open for where the surgery is. The nurses do all the prep (scrubbing the area, shaving, insertion of the foley catheter)...there is a higher percentage of female RNs than males...but there could be a male nurse there. There are plenty of people in the operating room at this time...so nothing innappropriate could occur if your twisted view was the case. |
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maybe i am a little immature, but how do i keep from being bothered by males in the delivery room? i have read other threads and posts where male nurses and doctors were discussing what to do in case they get an erection while examining a female pateint. so that tells me right there that it is a problem, they do get turned on. i mean come on, what is the genitals primaryly used for other than going to the bathroom? if you look at a coffee maker can you imagine anything else but coffee being made by this device? or if you look at a tv you know that most likely some tv show will come on, or a car, can you look at a car without thinking of what it is used for? wheather it be sub consious or not know that car is used to travel places in. how can you look at a vagina and not think of sex at some point if you are a man. men are stimulated by visials and by touching, a male doctor does both of those things. i dont think this is a mountain i can move bymyself, only GOD can do that, but as we know some mountains have to be climbed, some removed, and some avoided. i think this is one of those that have to be avoided. and i dont think it is that unreasonable for a man not to want another man touching his wife in a familiar or intimate way. |
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Wow. I agree 100% with Mommy_to_be. If you are this uncomfortable with the whole situation how is it come to be that this is your forth child and you've just mentioned it to your wife?? As for you reading in other threads & posts...I could post anything I wanted to...true or not. But to get back to the issue...you could have gone to a midwife instead of an OB-GYN. If you feel this needs to be avoided, don't have anymore children...you'll have 4 beautiful kids after this birth. Good luck to you. |
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Sorry, but I agree with Mommy to be, you do sound quite immature on this subject. I too see a male doctor and there has never been anything remotely erotic about any of my exams. My husband comes with me to most of my ob appts. now and he really likes my dr. I have to say that I'd be pretty darn upset if my husband was upset about me having to get a pelvic exam by a male dr. It's not like we enjoy having to make that trip to the office!! I can't even believe that you are thinking of this as adultery, unbelievable! If your wife truly did have an experience like you describe where the dr. didn't have a witness in the room, took a long time with the exam and then didn't collect a speciman, that's sexual assault plain and simple, and should be reported to the police/medical board. I can tell you that nothing even close to this has ever happened to me. When I have my exams, the nurse is in the room and last year at my exam I believe that my dr. and I were discussing the differences between the baptist and methodist churches while he did the exam. So sexual assault/harrassment aside, I think that you're WAY off base. |
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LOL!!!!!!! This just prooves men don't grow up. |
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i have not seen any responses by any men yet. if you dont particularly enjoy going to the male ob/gyn, then why not? so you do have an issue with showing your goods to a strange man maybe? |
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also , being gay or not is not the issue. if they are gay then i know they are already sexual deviants |
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If you want responses from men perhaps you should go to the "Help for new dads" section. I know there was a thread awhile back from some wacko who feels the way you do. |
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Hey man it sounds to me like you have bigger jealousy problems than a male doctor/nurse seeing/ examining your wife. It sounds to me like you have insicurities about your relationship with your wife and thats whats causing you to freak out. My girlfriend who is 9 months has had a internal exam right in front of me and it didn't bother me at all. To me its just part of the process and whether the doctor is a male or female doesn't matter to me. Ya its a little wierd to watch another man stick his hand up there but theres a medical reason. I have never felt threatened by the doctor and my girlfriend doesn't have a problem with it. If your wife had a problem with it then you might have grounds for all your bitching but if she doesn't you really don't. You sound very insecure about your relationship. If the doctor is not professional then sue for malpractice. And as for the males in the medical field having thoughts about your wife there isn't anything you can do unless they are unprofessional but you're a man you have had thoughts about other peoples wives and never acted on it so get over yourself and stop whining |
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*insecurities* |
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"i mean come on, what is the genitals primaryly used for other than going to the bathroom? if you look at a coffee maker can you imagine anything else but coffee being made by this device? " <--- YOU sound like the sexual deviant. If you can't think about anything else but sex when you see a sexual organ you're the sicko. As a nursing student I see male/female genitalia all the time and I don't have to hold myself back from sexual thoughts...it doesn't even cross my mind. When you are bathing your son or daughter and see their privates do you get turned on? Do you think that dentists/ oral hygeinists have to withold from sticking their tongue in your throat while examining you? The reason that TJackson doesn't enjoy the exam (like every other woman) is because it is uncomfortable (no matter if a male doctor, female doctor, or you yourself was performing it). "and i dont think it is that unreasonable for a man not to want another man touching his wife in a familiar or intimate way" <---it is NOT INTIMATE!!! Sticking a swab up in the vagina for a pap smear and playing with a woman's clit to stimulate orgasm are a little different...I don't know what kind of torturous foreplay you are into but if your actions in the bedroom are anything like a vaginal exam by a OB/GYN doc than you need to do some reading. If your wife was a stripper than that comment would be justified...but an ob/gyn exam is not intimate. You really need to look into therapy...I'm not trying to be mean, I honestly think you need it. |
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now there it is, of course nobody that is in medicine will understand my post, you dont want to believe people like me have a big problem with a strange man putting his finger up my wifes rectum. i really dont think anyone has really read my post other than the title. |
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If I didn't read your post, than how did I take quotes out from what you said to comment on? Look at both of my posts, I directly addressed your questions and comments...you're obviously not reading anyone else's posts...which makes sense being that you are incredibly ignorant. No one here has even come close to saying they agree with you...that should show you something. I'm the only one who responded to your post that is slightly involved in the medical field (being that I still have a year left to get my RN). Why do you blame the fact that you are rediculous on my involvement in the medical field? How about all the people who responded who did not state involvement in medicine? P.S Honestly you should have a problem with anyone who puts their finger in your wife's rectum, because that's pretty unnecessary. |
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I think it's frightening that a man would actually have difficulty performing sexually because he is picturing his wife getting an internal exam. WHAT??? I know my husband has had a few "man-parts" check ups, and I honestly can't remember the last time the thought of the old "grab the sack and cough" routine has ran through my head while making love. I think you have an unhealthy jealous streak that is surprising for a father of four. There are many other things to worry about and your wife's doctor getting his jollies from checking out her cervix is the least of them. Be thankful you're able to conceive, be thankful your wife is having a healthy pregnancy and otherwise...stay the hell out of the pregnancy. You aren't the one having to endure 9 months of discomfort and the subsequent several hours of labor and delivery pain. Let her choose her own doctor and grow up. Jeez, this post really made me mad!!! |
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Mr. P, let's try and explain to you why these "intimate" looking exams take place. Perhaps no one has sufficiently informed you on this. One: the vaginal exam is done to feel for masses, structural abnormalities and tenderness (not pleasure). Two: The PAP is to find abnormal cells, infection. Three: The Rectal exam is the only way to feel the back side of the uterus. Now, if you would prefer that your wife have abnormalities or changes that go undetected than you can continue to feel the way you do. Unfortunately, not having an exam doesn't make cancer or abnormal conditions go away. I suggest you have a female relative go with your wife from now on...you are WAYYYY too vested in and appear to be micromanaging everything about your wife's life. Why is your wife having a c-section this time? If she had already had one you would know that she will not be splayed out naked for all to see. I certainly hope your feelings about her vagina have not pushed her to have an unecessary surgery with all its risks just to protect YOUR feelings. I really really think you need to talk with a professional and Heaven forbid you ever need medical care yourself for you have twisted views of highly educated medical personel. I am 3 terms from graduating RN and I have never ONCE thought of a single patient as anything other than a human being for whom I deliver quality nursing care. |
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