18 I Have A Pregnancy Plan But Would Like Advice

1 Replies
katemarie - December 7

Okay, so I am 18 years old, my loving boyfriend of over 2 years is 19, and we have been recently talking about having a baby. At first, I was so caught up in all of it, I wanted to get pregnant almsost immediatly, but quickly realized that is not the most responsible decision on our part. We want to be able to give our child everything he/she deserves. So, we have decided to wait until next fall to get pregnant, that way when the baby arrives the following summer, we will both be finished our schooling and my boyfriend would keep his steady job, and we would have money saved up in the bank for our child. By this time I would be 20, & my boyfriend 21, so I think that is a perfect time to start a family. I just would like to know what other moms thinks, is this a good plan? And I would appreciate any advice at all, please no criticism. Thanks (: [Yes, I reposted, I was in the wrong category]

 

Francois - February 24

Hi katemarie. Here's what we did. I love to learn from other people's experiences, that is why I share our story. Rosemarie and I were friends for almost 2 years before we started a romantic relationship. A little more than a year later, we got married. So we knew each other for three years before we got married. Then we decided to wait at least two years before we start with a family. There were two big reasons why we waited so long. 1. We wanted to get adjusted to living together in one house (we didn't live together before we were married). We want to get used to each other before there is a baby to whom we should get used to. 2. We wanted a little more financial stability. It turned out that Mary-Ann arrived six years after we were married. And I believe that it were definitely better to start a family later, rather that sooner. Looking back, our relationship is much stronger now than 4 years ago. We were far from financially stable 4 years ago. We are more mature and we have much more patience with each other and consequently with Mary-Ann. Here's my advice: Are you ready to settle? Because settling happens almost automatically after a baby. Your life changes and you think different about a lot of things - your career, your relationships, your finances, etc. Age doesn't play a role here, your level of maturity plays a much bigger role. Get married first. It adds a lot of psychological stability to a relationship. (I saw it way too many times how young dads (boyfriends/partners) ran away at the second dirty diaper.) From what I saw in your post, you are responsible, so I gave you another perspective to think about. Remember, you have to live with your choices for the rest of your life, keep the long term perspective always in mind in these things. Best of luck.

 

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