23 And Maybe Alone

2 Replies
meg16_2003 - September 27

Hi Everyone! I just found out that I am pregnant with my first child. I am 23 years old and my boyfriend of 2 years is 30. He says he is not ready for a child right now, but he will be if he has to be. He says he wants to have children with me, just "not right now". I am so afraid of doing this alone. This was an accident, but I do not believe in abortion and I am fortunate to even be pregnant, considering I was anorexic throughout high school and my doctors told me that it would be very difficult to get pregnant. If he is 30 and not ready now, when will he be? We both have college degrees and good jobs, but he says he wanted to be married and have a house first. So, our life is a bit altered! Plans change I guess. What do you all think?

 

PreciousBaby19 - September 27

Hi Meg. Congrats on being pregnant. I know that your boyfriend is 30 and its a little bit of an age difference. But if he wants to have kids later then whats the problem. I mean I know he can feel not ready, but if he wants children then he will love and accept this child. You say you want to be married and have a house but sometimes things dont always happen in the same order that you thought. He is 30..and your right to ask when will he be ready. Hes getting to that age where its not or never. I think that since you are saying that you were having issues in high school and you will most likley have fertility issues then what happens if you do not choose to raise this child and then can't get pregnant later? I dont bleieve this child was an accident. I'm not much into God, i'm agnostic, however...you have to wonder...was it a sign? Cherrish your blessing. Becuas eif you choose to wait. His age, and low sperm count if you wait...could get worse...and your medical background could cause it very hard to get pregnant later. If you want this baby and want kids later. then you can have this child now.....and then wait to have another ..that way if it doesn't work out later to add another member of the family...you wont regret this pregnancy for the rest of your life. Get what i'm saying? I'm always here to talk.

 

sarah21 - October 1

Well I am a believer in God and I believe no life is unplanned. It may not be our plan, but it's His. This baby is a blessing, but perhaps it's hard to see that. It's easy to get married and buy a house-- you have degrees and jobs! All that stuff is easy to change when you are in a good place like you are. It will probably take time for your boyfriend to adjust. If he says he will be a father if he has to be, then tell him he has to be. It will change things, of course. But a baby is not the worst thing that could happen.

 

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