23 And Pregnant What Should I Do

17 Replies
sarah - cambridge - July 21

im 23 this july and ive found out im pregnant for the 4th time. i have miscarried twice and the last was an abortion. i really want to keep this but im in £10,000 dept and no longer with the father even though we remaine friends.. what should i do.?i dont know what my options are

 

Amanda - July 21

I'm 23 also...pregnant with twins, on bedrest now so I can't work anymore and my husband doesn't make very much money at all --we also have at least $5,000 in debt not including our car loan and I'm afraid that we'll barely be able to cover our rent and other bills now that the doctors say it's dangerous for me to work. In spite of all this, I am hopeful -- I've never had to apply for government a__sistance programs before, but now I have no choice. They are there for people who need them and just need a leg up for a short time. I've heard the UK has really good programs for pregnant mothers -- don't you get free dental care and money each month from the government if you qualify? If you were younger I might suggest adoption or help from your family in raising -- but I think 23 is a good age to become a mother if you want the baby. If you b___stfeed and have free healthcare, the first year with a baby will be a lot cheaper than most people like to admit. Good luck!

 

stephanie - July 22

If you are worried about your debt, don't be. Have that baby and love it. If you don't feel you could raise it, I will adopt it or you could find a loving home. I have a two year old and he is the best thing in my life. My husband and I are trying for another, but due to medical issues I had after my son may have trouble conceiving again. We have enough love for any child. [email protected]

 

meme - July 26

There are lots of loving couples out their that would love to adopt your little gift. Do whats best for the child, not whats best for you and DO NOT kill this one!!

 

Ca__sie - August 10

Hi, Im 17, Just found out my bf is cheeting on me and im pregnant. what should i do?????

 

kate - August 10

to ca__sie, there r so many things u can do, u can have the baby and raise he/she without a dad, or u could place ur baby for adoption with family that cant have children of there own, or who wants to add to the family they have now, if u want to about more stuff u can email me [email protected]

 

Jess - August 21

Well u obviously have some kind of idea what ur options are as you said that your've had an abortion before. So in saying that I'm sure you'll figure it out

 

- August 29

maybe adoption is the best way to go

 

eye of the beholder - August 30

claim bankruptcy if you are able to in the UK put a smile on your face relax go have a message and say to yourself I'm the perfect age to bear children so look out world here I come because nobody is going to stop me now . Call some newspapers go public if you don't get your way .

 

nicole - August 30

adoption is an option! we have been looking into adoption and we decided that we want to have an open adoption and want the mother to be in the childs life as long as she is willing to do so... so if you ever start looking into adoption, please contact me at: [email protected]

 

to ca__sie - September 3

I know you have heard the expression, once a cheater always a cheater! If he is doing things like that, that sometimes means he doesnt love you, Im sure you love him which makes it harder! You will be fine though! He may have gotten you pregnant but sperm does not give you any rights! Such as being a father and being part of your babies life! I wouldnt marry him

 

ELISE - September 4

THERE IS NEVER A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE A BABY! IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, REST ASSURED THINGS WILL WORK THEMSELEVES OUT. MY MOM ACTUALLY KICKED ME OUT 18 AND PREGNANT, AND I WENT FROM BEING WEALTHY TO LIVING IN A HOMELESS SHELTER FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, BUT I MADE IT THROUGH, AND SOMEHOW FOUND A WAY TO GET UP AND CHANGE THINGS AROUND. I NOW HAVE 3 KIDS, AND AM 30 YEARS OLD, LIVING VERY COMFORTABLY. MONEY SHOULD NEVER BE A REASON TO ABORT YOUR BABY. PLEASE DON'T DO IT! I STRUGGLED WITH THAT DECSION YEARS AGO, AND IAM SO GLAD I DIDN'T DO IT. I DON'T JUDGE YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU DID...THE PAST IS THE PAST, HOWEVER NOW YOU HAVE THAT SAME CHOICE AGAIN. DON'T MAKE THE WRONG ONE. I'D HATE TO SEE YOU HURTING SO, 23 ISN'T TOO YOUNG TO HAVE THIS BABY. EMOTIONALLY YOU ARE PREPARED, YOU JUST HAVE TO GET THE FINANCES IN ORDER, AND IN TIME THAT WILL HAPPEN. JUST HOLD ON OK? ((HUGS))

 

- September 5

How can you live in this world, and not know what your options are? Why can't anyone think for themselves anymore?

 

jswmls - September 9

to the last one that did not put there name on here, there is so much information it is often times too much. why don't u try to understand what everyone is going through. doctors don't know it all. sarah, i am going to be 23 in october, i've been on depo and am scared that i may not have a baby at all, it tears me up to think that i did this to myself. my advice to you is treasure this baby and don't worry about the sperm donor because a father is a man who will love your child and you not matter what. he will be there for you and that baby. stay strong.

 

just my opinion - September 17

It's too late now, but there are ways to prevent a pregnancy. You need to do what is in the best intrest of the baby. There are plently of couples out there looking for babies.

 

Rosy - September 21

I'm 23 but I just had my baby last month.I don't have any money either and I'm going to divorce the father although it is going to be hard I have no regrates he is beautiful and you will know what I'm talking about when you see yours :)

 

Bonnie - September 21

Sarah, are you in the UK or US? UK is a little easier as you don't have to pay for medical expenses and there are many child benefits over there, including living expenses if needy. I'm not sure where to start though, we had some help while I lived there btu my hubby arranged it all. US is a little more difficult. If you did not make a lot last year you will qualify for Medicaid which will cover your medical care and WIC which will help with some of the food staples. They will also point you in the right direction for other a__sistance. I'm not sure how some of that works in the US, grab a phone book and call. You don't have to file for adoption or abort if you don't want to, being poor will make things much harder for you but you can eventually get out of that. Do you have any kind of support system from your family?

 

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