Right Time

5 Replies
sab - November 1

I’m 20 years old and my Fiancé is 22, we have been going 5 years and bought our house a year ago. Both work and recently we have been talking about having a baby; i’m still on the pill so I’m not ttc at the minute. I would LOVE A BABY and I know it would change our lives completely. I feel I’m mature enough to be a mum. but once I’m pregnant there is no going back so I want to make sure it’s the right time, how can you tell?


Kimi - November 1

i know i am young, 18, but you will know its a feeling that you cant explain. the best thing to do is talk. talk to your fiance about the changes it will bring and the expenses. if these changes are manageable in your lives then i would say go for it. you will know when your time is. but the best way to find out is to talk a lot. good luck with whatever you decide. and i wish you and your fiance the best in life**


hulagirl - November 1

Hi Sab I am 25 yrs old been with my husband a little over 2 years. We recently just purchased our first home in Chicago. The right time has been an issue for me also. If you ask my husband the right time was when he looked at me! My SIL has a 6 month old and is 20 weeks pregnant. Being around my nephew has made this an even bigger issue. Everyone keeps telling me there will never be a "RIGHT TIME", and i think they are right. There will always be another bill, or something that will come up to make you second guess having a baby. I actually have fertility issues, i dont ovulate. My OB wanted to start me on Clomid, because i thought i was ready. I changed my mind and decided to just stop taking birth control. Now we have decided to just see what happens. If i get pregnant it will be a welcomed unexpected surprise. No worries. A baby will change your life, for the better. I have older aquaintances that tell me the biggest mistake they ever made was not having children. You are younger than me, so you have lots of time to figure out what you want and what is right for you. I wish you all the best. You sound like a balanced woman with a good head on your shoulders. Youll make someone a great mom someday!


Lin - November 2

No, there is never a "right time," but there certainly is a right age. If you said you were 25 and had been with your fiance since you were 20, that would be one thing. But you're only 20 years old, and you've been with your fiance since you were essentially children. I can only speak for myself, but the biggest growing in my entire life was between about 18 and 24 years old, which I think is pretty common. I was convinced during that time that my bf and I would be together forever. However, as we grew older, we both realized that we wanted entirely different things out of life and split up after 10 years together. I'm incredibly thankful that I didn't do anything, like have a baby, that would make our separation from one another painful. We're still good friends, though we don't talk too much, and I'm now with the most amazing man of my dreams. I would never have found the man who is truly right for me had I trapped myself with Mr. Wrong who I thought was Mr. Right when I was young. Just my 2 cents.


marcie to sab. - November 2

A baby will change your life,and not always for the better.I have known couple who have split,or when talking to mothers after we have had our babies it puts stress on the relationship,not bonding together as some believe.You see,you want to know,I'll give my honest answer from my point of view.You ask how you know.There is a difference between wanting/longing a baby,and the time is right.You have to distance yourself away from the look,and get real.I waited until I was in my 30's before I had a baby,my husband would have had one when I was 19.However,he agreed for the resons,as I said this is my personnel story.I built up a carreer,and the money helped pay off a huge amount of the morgage,we enjoyed our lives together,seeing the world,building a home,and a rock solid relationship.Eventually I felt we were ready for a baby,I knew this man,old enough to be mature and know what we felt about certain beliefs,and decisions.The house was ready,low morgage that would survive on one wage.I had a horrendous birth with the 1st,who said have an epidural you don't feel any pain?The baby was demanding,and life changed.The babies needs had to come 1st.People don't tell you how tired you get getting up to see to your crying infant,they tell you these things at anti-natal cla__ses.Babies cost a lot too.One girl,I got friendly with,she actually regretted having her baby,and felt bad at wanting to adopt it,you see some mothers have post natal depression.I really believe that because we waited a lot of stress I spoke to other girls/ladies about seemed less with us.I had a planned section with my 2nd,either that or never again! I am happy with the decision,and happy with two.Sometimes,I miss my old life,friends and colleagues,and being together,but for me the time was right,I had that life,and it was time to move on.


sab - November 2

Thank you all so much for your advise, we still don’t know what we are going to do one day we would say lets do it but then I change my mind and take my pill, its hard because I know that a baby is for life and its changes it completely. I know I’m still young, But we both feel that having a baby is defiantly on the cards of us, it just the matter of when. To Hulagirl --- I hope every thing works out the best for you and your Husband, good luck and I hope you get your surprise.



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