Are Teens Ready For The Pre Birth Difficulties

28 Replies
Melissa - November 14

I am 32. I have no children. I was pregnant for the first time, and we were absolutely thrilled. This was the first time I had ever become pregnant and really did not know all that was involed. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 8.5 weeks. I don't think teens are really ready to deal wit hte fact that miscarriages and very problematic pregnancies DO happen! I am hoping that the 15 year old girl realizes that she can miscarry through no fault of her own leaving her devastated. She can have the kind of pregnancy that will have her in the doctors office every week! Can she afford that? Can she afford progesterone suppositories if she doesn't have insurance? Can she afford other pregnancy-supporting medications and procedures? Will she be emotionally ready to have a D&C should she miscarry? Does she have a support system around her that would help her through such an emotional time? Girls, unfortuantely, pregnancy is not always about feeling great and everyone catering to you for 9 months. For a lot of women, pregnancy can be difficult in the BEST of times! I am trying to get pregnant again, but remember, I am 32 years old, and this is something I never did until I was emotionally, physically, financially ready! The miscarriage was the hardest thing I have had to go through, so please educate yourselves before even thinking about this! Not every pregnancy is easy and fun. Not every baby comes out chubby and healthy! Please take that into consideration.

 

Kimi - November 14

Hi i am 18 , where do you come form with this just because we are young doesnt mean that we cant deal with loss or complications. i had a miscarriage at 17, yeah it was devisatating and yeah i want to get pregnant again but realize that i need to wait it was hard dealing with the loss and all but no matter what your age no one can ever be ready to loose their baby and no one is every emotionally stable in that situation so watch what you say

 

Melissa - November 14

I am just giving advice to young people. All I am saying is that pregancy is not just what you see on television and that it can be very very complicated and doesn't always even work out. I am sorry you had a miscarriage. I know it would hurt at any age. But I think if it happened to me at 15 or 16, it would have been a lot harder than now. I

 

Tati - November 14

Hi Malissa it seemd you have two topics in one. I never had a miscarriage but my cousin had two. She was 19 when she had the first and 24 when she had her second. In between she has two children and now she is expecting again in march. It was very hard. But like you said if you have family to help you through and what ever age you are like Kimi said no one is emotionally stable and ready for it. I think it is a good idea to get pregnant soon after because it helps you forget, and focus on the new arrival

 

Melissa - November 14

Please understand. My only message here is for young girls to educate themselves as to what can occur during pregnancy! You are not going to tell me that 15 year olds are out there researching pregnancy! You are not going to tell me that mst 15 year olds wanting to get pregnant are aware of what an RH- factor is. And how that can impact preganancy. I'm sure they don't know what a blighted ovum is. I am sure they don't know the difference between a missed miscarriage and a threatened miscarriage is. I bet most 15 year olds think that a miscarriage means waking up in the middle of the night with pain and bleeding like they see in the movies. And that a lot of miscarriages are actually physically painless with no bleeding or cramps and that you can feel totally normal. All I want is for young people to relieve themselves of this kind of stress. They don't need it. If they want a baby at 15, chaces are they'll still want it at 25, 27, 30, 35, whatever, so I don;t see why they can't wait.

 

Jodie - November 15

Hi Melissa, I'm 19 years old, and lately i have realised exactly what you are saying. Like i said, I'm 19 and i really, really want a baby, i feel as though I'm ready for this finacially, emotionally and physically, for a healthy baby that is. We all seem to think that all our babies are going to be perfect and healthy, they may be perfect to you, but how on earth can a 15 year old girl be 'mature' enough to have to feed her baby through tubes, look after the lil angel for it's whole life, because it doesn't have the ability to do anything by itself? There's nothing i want more than to hold part of me and my dp in my arms and love that little angel for the rest of my life, but they don't all pop out looking like a designer baby! I wish i could say that i feel as though i could look after a baby with a disability, but it would just be selfish to do so! All you 'teenagers' on here that come back saying 'how do you know if i'm mature enough for this?' just shows that your not! No one can tell you what to do, and you'll probably just think Melissa is being a 'do gooder', so i suppose the only way for you all to learn is the hard way! I really hope all you young girls do have happy and healthy pregnancies/babies, god help you all otherwise!

 

Jodie - November 15

Melissa, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Positive thoughts going your way! xxx

 

diffiiculties - November 16

where do you get off? Im 23 and when i was 15 i fell pregnant and yes i did do research on pregnancy and did understand the complications that could happen, so much that i delived my daughter at 23 weeks, but sadly she was to small to survive, she lived for 2 hours before she gave up the fight, so dont tell me teens arent ready to deal with tragedy, age has nothing to do with it!

 

Fair - November 16

I do know very much about pregnancy. I know about miscarriages, I know about ectopic, molar etc. I know about toxemia, toxoplasmosis, edema, gestational diabetes, placenta previa and abrution, preterm labor etc..Many women do not know or care about the risks it is not only teenagers. Why not try to educate the older women? Women over the age of 35 have lower fertility, a higher risk of miscarriage, a risk of down syndrome in 1/400 pregnancies at age 35 and at 40 it is 1/100, an increased risk for diabetes and high blood pressure, and an increased risk of placenta problems. women who have a first child at 35 or older are at an increased risk of having a low birth weight baby (less then 5 1/2 lbs) or premature. they also have a higher risk of a ectopic pregnancy. The newborns of mothers in their 40's may suffer more complications like asphyxia and brain bleeds. Mothers 35 and older are more likely to have a difficult labor and studies suggest that fetal distress and a prolonged second stage of labor are more common in older mothers. Women over age 35 have about a 40 percent chance of a c-section, compared to about a 14 percent risk for first-time mothers in their 20s...I wasn't 15 when I started researching pregnancy I was 16.

 

To Fair, from Melissa - November 16

I am glad that you are one of the exceptions and that you had educated yourself on pregnancy. Again, I am not here saying all 15 year old's are uneducated. And I know that there are many risks a__sociated with ahving a chile over the age of 35. I know that. I am not saying that having a baby at 50 is any better than at 15. AGAIN, I'm not calling 15 year olds stupid. I'm just saying that people of all ages need to know all about pregnacy before they get pregnant. No, that will not prevent a miscarriage if that is what is destined to happen. But why SHOULD a 15 or 16 year old girl who should be enjoying her fun years expose herself to the emotional upset of a miscarriage or an unhealthy baby? Why why why can't they wait??? Why invite stress and problems in your life at such a young age? There is plenty of time to experience all life has to offer and that includes having kids. I'm also not saying to wait until you are in your late 30's or 40's to start. But why can't they wait until they are AT LEAST legal?????

 

*X* - November 16

Fair, your arguments don't hold anyway, because your reasoning is fallacious. Sure, people in their 30s and 40s have complications, but she wasn't saying they didn't. What she *was* saying is that people in their 20s, 30s and 40s are more mentally prepared for it.

 

Fair - November 16

She asked if teenagers were really researching pregnancy and i have for a while that is why i posted it. I used women over age 35 because they are automatically high risk and many women do not do the research about what could possibly go wrong. Women over the age of 35 need to know about the complications as much as teenagers do. But of course everyone over the age of 22 knows the risks right? That is why i know very many people who do not bother to go to get prenatal care and think that since women have been giving birth to healthy children for years that they will of course be fine. And this is not only teenagers who do not have the correct information that they need it is older women to.

 

Melissa - November 16

Fair-O think most women know that the risks multiply after the age of 35. And most women know this not only because of any reseach they may do, but because of LIFE EXPERIENCE which a 15 year old girl DOES NOT HAVE!

 

To melissa - November 16

What makes a life experiences? A 15 year old having a child, having a misscarrige, losing a daughter, there all experiences, arent they, age dosent matter when your facing tragety

 

Fair - November 16

Melissa I am sorry to tell you this but many women do not know the risks that go with pregnancy. I know women who do not know the risks so do not sit there and tell me that they do. I know people who don't go to the doctors period when they are pregnant and do harmful things like smoking and drinking and doing drugs when they are pregnant and do not know the repercussions of their actions. There are many women who do know the risks but there are many that do not. And life experience is not going to make people understand about toxemia or what changing litter boxes can do.

 

*X* - November 17

Regardless, Fair, you're either totally missing or blatantly ignoring the point of her original post, which was that they are typically more psychologically and financially prepared to deal with complications, not more knowledgeable.

 

TO FAIR, From melissa - November 17

Fair, I agree that a lot of women out there treat their pregnancies with no care or consideration at all. Especially women with addiction. I definitely agree. But those are mostly women who did not plan on getting pregnant and kind of live in a fantasy world where they don't really care if the baby makes it or not. These women are the exception to my original posting. I feel sorry for anyone, at any age that do harmful things to themselves and thier babies out of sheer ignorance. But again, my original posting was meant to make young girls aware that pregnancy is not all sunshine and flowers. And even though you know that, many other young people do not. I mean, if a 15 year old girl got pregnant on purpose, against the approval of her parents and ends up having complications, miscarriage or a child with birth defects, how much sympathy does she expect to get? And I'll tell you from the experience of my own miscarriage that having a loving support system is vital!!! Having good insurance that provided me with a good doctor to perform my D&C in a good private hospital with a good anethesthesiologist (sp?) was also vital. And many 15 year old girls do not have access to proper care. This is what they should be thinking about before getting pregnant on purpose. I have nothing but prayers for girls who get pregnant by accident. But for the girls on this website who are so young and actively trying to conceive, well, it scares me. They should know about the repercussions. And I honestly don't feel like when they are planning to get pregnant they are TRULY thinking all of this through! They just want that baby! It's craziness. And no, just in case you ask, my miscarriage was not due to drug use, alcohol, lack of pre-natal care, smoking etc. As soon as I took a pregnancy test, I was at the OB's office 48 hours later and went very regularly after that. I understand that a 15 or 16 year old can face pain and loss and tragedy just like anyone else. I agree. But why should they? There will be enough sad times in their lives ahead. They should spare themselves for now, don't you think?

 

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