I Am More Mature Then My Age

14 Replies
Marti - June 14

I am 16, I have a very healthy relationship going on 6 months, We've talked about our life together...and I told him i wanted a baby..and i wanted it now. He agreed but he's against it because we don't have the money, and we're not married. That made me angry because I don't think its that important to wait until after marriage to have s_x. but then we fool around a bit and he tries to have s_x. I dont understand it?? But anyways....He said that we would if we had the money. I know that I am Mature enough i have taken care of my many brothers and sisters they are all young 9 and under....i have 5....My parents divorced so i was forced to grow up before i was ready so now i am grown up..i have always been a couple years ahead of my age...I still to this second want a child. Is it wrong to want to start my life with my partner right now at my age??



this is marti one more thing i forgot to mention...I have thought about everything about having a child the consiquences..the struggles and that doesnt bother me..i was brought up that way and i know how to deal with it...I think in life you are meant to have struggle..then when you're at the top you will appreciate it even more then ever. I really have thought long and hard about this whole getting pregnant thing..How i would still go to school get my work done..keep going to work and save my money instead of buying things...i could do it with a tiny help from my boyfriend.


Jamie - June 14

i just wanted to clarify something...you're going to go to school full-time, work, and be a mother? When? Maybe I'm remembering incorrectly, or things have changed, but - school is from, call it 7 a.m. til 3 p.m. - that's 8 hours a day, 5 days a week - 40 hours...plus work, say 20 hours - so there's 60 hours gone, and that's not including travel time, or time to do your homework. When I was in high school, I had half as much homework as I did schoolwork - so another 20 hours per week. So there's 80 hours gone, and you haven't looked at your baby yet. You've got 88 hours left in a week...say you sleep 4 hours per night...now you've got a total of 60 hours left to feed your baby, bathe your baby, clothe your baby, play with your baby...hon, I don't think you realize just how little time 60 hours actually is...


Marti - June 14

You do way to much calculating? why? I was saying work on spare time...save.......... i can go to school as little as 9 - 2 and work on spare time...not saying its easy but i would work for what i want..


Jamie - June 14

Marti, I don't think I do too much calculating - I think you haven't done enough. I don't think you're being realistic in your goals. Sorry, but that's my opinion. I'm 23 and married. My husband and I both work full-time; I get 100% free medical care - don't even have to pay for my prenatels, and we're still freaking out about how we're going to pay for this baby - heck, we don't have ANY bills (all utilities included in rent), and still we're worried about costs like disposable diapers and formula. Have you done the research as to how much prenatal care costs? How much labor and delivery is going to cost you? It's several thousand dollars, if you have a healthy pregnancy. If, heaven forbid, you should have any complications - honey, you could be in debt for YEARS. Not to mention, as that baby grows older, you still have to buy clothes, and food, and pay for him/her to have shots, and are you going to let him/her participate in sports or other activities? School supplies, school lunches - and then we get to the biggies - driver's license, car, insurance, gas, maintenance - and you still haven't even gotten to college yet...how are you going to pay for your little one to go to college? Have you thought about how you would provide for your angel if, again, heaven forbid - you should die at a young age? Hon, these are things you should think about BEFORE you get pregnant. I didn't, cause I didn't plan on having kids for another 7 years, and now hubby and I are doing some serious back-pedalling to try and catch up, so that my little girl has the things she'll need. You're basing your desire for a child on emotion - you need to stop, and base it on numbers - cold, hard numbers that do not lie. I'm not talking about your age - I'm talking about hours in the day, how much money you earn in a month, how much that lovely little one is going to cost you in the same month...Stop emoting, and start calculating.


Marti - June 14

Wow, I dont want addvice from you i can take care of myself


The real marti - June 14

That wasn't me jamie...the last one comment. Thanks for the addvice, you make sense. Good luck with your baby.


Gina - June 14

Marti, I agree with Jamie. Raising brothers and sisters is not the same as being pregnant, and then raising your own child. Also, would you want your children to have to go through what you did, or would you like them to grow up in a household with two loving parents that can give them everything they need? I really hope you take all of this to heart. Please keep us updated on what you decide.


Jamie - June 15

Thank you, Marti, for listening to what I had to say. Ultimately, it is your body, and your decision - I just hope, for your sake, that you make your decision with ALL the facts. Please do keep me informed what you decide - and if you want to talk more, feel free to email me - [email protected]


37 And No Regrets - June 15

It's not wrong for you to want to start your life at your age, but it would be very unwise for you to rob yourself of your youth. The 20's are a great time to explore options in life, travel, start a career, and earn the wisdom to pa__s on to a child, when it's the right time.


ashley - June 16

With your own child Marti you can't tell it to go away like you can a little brother or sister. It will be there forever. and you can't rely on your parents to support you and your child forever can you?


Marti - June 23

I think you should take a couple years and wait till you're at the age of your "maturity level" You might seem to have a healthy relationship now. Buy you're still pretty young. Do you really want a baby at 16, and risk not being with the father later on if by change the healthy relationship grows to be un-healthy? Think about it.


robin - July 9

well hey i'm 16 to ,and I think that it ok to have a strong relationship at your age but I don't think that a baby is the best thing for to do right now


hey marti - July 14

you mentioned that you planned to receive some help from your boyfriend. I'm sure he is a nice person, but you could be putting too much strain on a young relationship. it takes two mature people to start a healthy family. Do not force him, (not even trick him) to get you pregnant. you might end up all alone. apperently you still have a lot to handle helping out with your brothers and sisters too. try involving you bf with the rest of your family see if he is reliable but take things slowly and enjoy experiencing different stages of a relationship. i know your feelings will not change about having a baby but you could also consider that you are preparing a boy and yourself to be parents. the better you get the nearer is the baby


PK - July 14

Marti, I know it hurts to hear all these things because I am 22 and have wanted nothing more out of life than to be a mother since I was in grade school, when they would have career days in like 3rd and 4th grade I would just want to be a mommy. I have been obssessed with it as far back as I can remember. I am 22 now and in my perfect world I was married by now and had finished college and all that good stuff. I am just now in my first relationship and to be honest, I don't think it's going anywhere. I don't regret any decisions in my life, I have always tried to do the thing that would be best and not just what felt best. Then 2 years ago I had finished cosmetology school and my sister in law was prego. I had just got a 7,000 dollar a semester scholarship to go to the college of my choice and she had the baby and due to some pretty big circ_mstances out of everyone's control my brother and his wife were unable to raise their child. I made the decision then to stay back from college and help raise her. I am absolutley in love with her, but my point is, you are going to love your child and probably be a GREAT mom one day but why not wait until you can do everything in the world that you want to do for him/her. Go to college first so you can get a good job, get established in a company somewhere or whatever so you know you will have money for diapers and all. I'm a lot like Jamie in that I have a good job making good money, I don't have to pay for health, dental, life insurance or college tuition and still I have a rent payment, car payment, car insurance, water, electricity, I don't know how I would afford child care alone, which here in Arkansas is actually probably cheaper than most places and it's still 90 bucks and up a month. I don't mean to lecter, I am talking to myself just as much because I for about three months was not using protection with my boyfriend in the hopes of becoming pregnant, but I really don't want to rely on mom forever, and so if I wait a few more years I will being makeing enough at this company to maybe start thinking of becoming a parent for real and maybe by then I will have a mate to help me. In the mean time, I will put all the focus I can on my neice. Maybe you should think about big brother big sister, that might help calm the urge for a few more years!



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