I Need Advice-pg113146051618

5 Replies
Linda - November 8

I am 20 and can not stop thinking about having a baby. My husband and I got married this year but have been together for 3 and a half years. I study from home so it will not be a issue of having to stop school. Is 20 or 21 a good age to have a baby. We have talked about it and agreed on having a baby at 22 but I just cant stop thinking about having a baby. Please help!!!

 

Bonnie - November 8

It's really up to you when you decide. If you just want an opinion, I'd agree with your DH and wait at least one more year. Keep this in mind, once you have children, you won't be alone with your DH for a LONG time. Children can make it tough to have nice romantic evenings and nights out. You can still have that of course, but there is no spontaneity anymore, everything has to be planned around your children. I just think it's nice to have a few years alone with your DH first as you have plenty of time. With that being said, you're certainly old enough and as long as you're in a stable relationship and have a nice home, then whenever you are ready is good. Just remember that children really change your life in every way and can actually put a strain on a relationship. Make sure you and your DH have had enough time together first. Good luck!

 

Bonnie - November 8

P.S. My DH and I ended up waitng 7 years to try for a baby, lol. It felt like forever as I've wanted one since I was a teen and he just wasn't quite ready. I'm really glad I waited though as we've been through so much together. It's a choice you have to make for youself. But keep in mind you have a TON of time still. :)

 

Linda - November 8

Dear Bonnie, Thank you so much for you advice. I really appreciate it and it means alot to me. The thing is that my husband and I are very mature for our age, we dont smoke, or drink or go to parties. I stay at home, study, clean the house, go grocery shopping, etc, just like a house wife would do, so I dont think a baby would change much. But I think you are right, I think I should wait another year or two.. I just wish that the urge to have a baby would go away. lol.. Thank you again

 

mama-beans - November 8

Ugh, I remember those baby-crazed years! Wait till at least 22. Give yourself the OPTION of "playing" like an adult.. going out in the evenings, that kind of thing. Then, when you can afford one income and you are settled in your relationship and home, have your baby! I'm a fan of the mid 20's mama.. I was 25 when I had my first, but we started trying when I hit 23 ( we were married when I was 21, started living together when I was 18, and met when I was 16...) Believe me, I have been there, and I am SO GLAD we waited! Those few short years made SUCH a difference!

 

Linda - November 8

mama-beans, Thank you for the advice, I really appricate all the support and advice I can get. My husband and I dont really go out, most of our friends are about 23 to 27 so we dont go out and party. We both have older brothers and sisters who all have children or are pregnant so its hard for me not to think about it. I really hope that the want for a baby will go away because Its driving me nuts..lol... Thank you again..

 

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