Is 23 Old Enough To Have A Baby

19 Replies
Van - October 23

Hi, I'm 23, turing 24 in December 2006. I'm in my 3rd year university and have another year to go before graduation. But, I'm currently PREGNANT! and is Worried to Death about the baby's welfare. My parents object to this, since they hope that I can finish school and wait. They don't approve of my marriage to my husband and makes me guilty for disappointing them. Mom wants me to abort while me and my husband want the baby though without a job for a while after the baby is born (because I have to go back to school for another extra 3 months then graduate, by then the baby is approx. 6 months), I'm worried about our future as a family. My husband works full time, but has previous kids to pay child-support to. Am I ignorant at having a child at this age? Though I do know that I'll be the best mother the child can ever have. Is going back to school for 3 more months after the baby is born is appropriate? Or am I being too selfish by keeping it??? Please help.

 

hope this helps - October 23

gosh, i don't think that you are selfish. This is your baby, one that you and your husband have created. If you don't think that you can provide for your child look into what type of governmental aide you can get. This is your parents grandchild, how could they not love it. I think that you and your husband need to have a serious talk about your finances, maybe talk to a financial advisor, you will get it straight.

 

kr - October 23

It would be silly for you to not finish school after you have the baby. Think of how much more you'll be able to provide with a degree. 3 months is a very liitle time to be in school. Are you in a program with night cla__ses? Or can you arrange to have all your cla__ses just 2 days a week? If that is the case yoiu can leave your 6-month with a sitter ( maybe daycare on campus). You might even be able to adjust your FAFSA if you are undergraduate. Talk with your school's financial aid advisors. You've come way to far to make give it up. By the way, are your parents paying for college? If so, is that the reason they are so resentful?

 

you can do it - October 23

I had a similar situation in my family. My family is strict Italian and my sister married a Jamaican man. My parents never approved of their relationship and it didn't get any better after the got married. My sis got pregnant and my parents tried talking her out of it because she didn't have a house or was too yound (23 also) and said she wasn't prepared. Well, she didn't listen to them and my niece is now 3 going on 4 and my parents love their grandchild more than anything. My mom even took a leave of abcense to watch my niece while my sister finished her last few credits. As far as worring about being the best parent...there is no such thing! You try your best within your means and love the child and keep it safe. There are indeed gov. programs call your local office. A baby won't stop you from reaching your goals,...rather they will give you a reason to have goals.You can do it and your parents will come around and if not...their loss.Register with all the major baby companies online for free samples and coupons so that you can have them on hand. Get baby clothes second hand or from ebay. Register on upromise.com, that will help you save for the babys future. Where there's a will , there's a way. Good luck and don't let anyone make this decision for you, you have the answer in your heart. Good luck

 

Melissa - October 24

I don't think your age is inappropriate, it just sounds like your life is not set up yet for a baby. Basically you have to decide what you want. Going back to school is NOT inappropriate. If you have someone you trust to watch the baby, then by all means finish what you started. In the end you and the baby will be better for it. Stop worrying so much, things have a way of working out. All parents worry for the future of their families. Just take things slowly. Take on only what you can handle.

 

Kal - October 25

Hey Van. You should do exactly whatever feels right for you. I'm 23, in my 2nd year at university, married and 12 weeks pregnant. We've figured everything out so that we'll have enough money (it'll be tight, but manageable) and I'm working with the university to make sure I'll be able to carry on with my degree. They're putting together an academic plan so I don't have to worry about my a__sessment dates. Another woman on my course is 27 and just had her baby 8 weeks ago, and she's back already. And I'm friends with two other women, both in their thirties, who have very young children but have still decided to return to education. In the long run, with a higher level of education you'll be in a better position to get a better job, so will be more able to give your baby everything you want. Seriously, don't follow a course of action to make other people happy. Do what feels right for you, everything will work out in the end. (As my mother always says; if everybody waited for the perfect time to have a baby, hardly anyone would ever have a baby.) Good luck xx

 

mom at 20 - October 25

Do not abort this baby! God gave this child to you for a reason. 23 is not too young to have a baby. I had my 1st child 1 year after I was married. My husband and I had not even been married a year (11 months) when I found out that I was pregnant with our 1st child. It was our 2nd year in college. After our son was born, I did sit out the spring semester, but went back in the fall and graduated 3 years later. It was not easy, but it was a blessing. You need to go to the Health Department and apply for WIC. It will help you while you are pregnant and after the baby is born it will provide you with formula, food, etc. for the baby.

 

Ayanna - November 1

No, you are not ignorant for wanting this baby and it's easier to commit to more difficult plans while the the baby is young.Accomplish hard things now and enjoy the beby later.

 

jeff - November 2

I dont think so. Your mom should support you no matter what.

 

to van - November 2

No-one knows you and your family,so it is your sole decsion its ok for these others to say don't abort your baby,but they do not have to raise it do they?I bet your mother is worried that she will have to help you out after already raising children,is that right?Think about it carefully,how demanding babies are,how tired you will be and who to care for your baby when you return to school.You say your husband has a job,but is may put pressure on you both.I can understand why your parents are worried for you,but if you plan to look after the baby without your parents help,then its up to you.

 

A friend - November 2

Do what is right for you. Listen to your heart and your head, don't be swayed by other people. Abortion is not an easy answer - there are repercussions for every course of action, and abortion has some pretty nasty ones. I had an abortion a long time a go, and although it was the right decison IN SOME WAYS, it is something that you have to live with forever. And that is incredibly hard. It would be difficult but by no means impossible to achieve what you want to academically and still keep the child - you're practically there anyway. Good luck xx

 

xxx - November 2

if you have an Abortion YOUR KILLING YOUR OWN CHILD there are other ways have the child give it up for Adoption. there are load of couples out their who would love children but can't. God gave this gift to you dont be a murder

 

Bonnie - November 3

This is a decision only you can really make. I think this Web site is terrible for giving advice on this kind of subject as there are too many extremists on either side telling you what to do. How can anyone tell you what to do who is not in your shoes? Keeping, adoption, or abortion is totally your choice to make. I had an abortion at 18 and while it was not an easy decision, I have no regrets at all. You sound to me like you want to keep the baby. You asked if you are ignorant or selfish for wanting to keep it.....my answer is no. Will it be easy for you? No. But you can certainly do it and don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Sit down with your husband and discuss this and make the decision for yourself. Good luck!

 

To xxx - November 3

What an excellent and balanced perspective. So enlightening and helpful. (Good luck Van in your decision )

 

Kelli - November 12

You GUYS!!!!!! I surely hope that 23 is old enough to have a baby----because this is my second one and I'll be turning 24 in December too. I have a 2-year-old :)

 

Kelli - November 12

and p.s. i've never been happier---my daughter is my life---well, I guess i could be happier without the "all day sickness" and "severe fatigue" that is coming along with my first trimester--but hey----no pain, no gain right!!

 

Kelli - November 12

and p.s. i've never been happier---my daughter is my life---well, I guess i could be happier without the "all day sickness" and "severe fatigue" that is coming along with my first trimester--but hey----no pain, no gain right!! Good luck

 

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