Let S Not Bash These Young People

21 Replies
sherry - September 4

I am 29 years old, and i do agree 14 or 15 years old is too young to have a baby, however bashing these young girls, doesn't help them. like everyone they are looking for love and guidance on their own level, so let's try to be a little bit understanding to the reasons why they want to have children. i had a very tough childhood, if you could even call it a childhood. no love at home, or anywhere really. i thought having a baby would be the answer to everything, so i started trying. i was about 14 at the time, and God bless me, i never did get pregnant during those couple years there. then at 19 i did have a child, and unfortunately he was very ill. he passed away last summer. at 19 i realized that a baby isn't there to love you. they want their needs met, and you have to understand one thing, once you have a baby, there is very little "you" left, it's all about him or her, which could make you feel even more isolated, and like you are getting even less attention, and the baby is getting it all. fortunately at 19, i had the resources from a law suit, to provide for my child. i believe still that i was mature enough at that age to have kids, so i don't knock anyone at this age level from having babies, if they are secure, in several ways. but looking back at 19 to 15, there was a HUGE difference in my maturity level. as much as i felt mature at that time, you just don't know, until you can look back and see, you just think you are. iam not trying to knock anyone, quite the opposite, iam just speaking from experience. i have a 4 week old baby now, who is my world, but i will tell you, it is lots of hard work! i understand the desire totally. i mean who doesn't want to be someone special to someone else?? but just fins who you are first, be happy with yourself, and once you can then support a child, do it!! until then, try to wait it out, though i know the desire can be strong. i think this board should be here for you girls, and be compassionate to your feelings. this doesn't just happen. it happens to those of us who are young, and missing a big piece in our lives, that we think a baby might fill, but at 15 it just doesn't do that! i luv you all, and if any of you were to get pregnant, i'd love to guide you through and support you totally. i just think waiting is best, but noone here should be rude in this, towards you all, because some people never felt that desire or the loss...the loss you feel when you don't feel loved. if they felt that way ever, they would all understand! my love to all...let's just be kinder to these kids, they need a helping hand, not to be scolded, like their own parents do to them. that doesn't help them, so a kind ear and good advice will really help them much more!

 

- September 13

i totally agree!!!well said!!!

 

Samantha - October 6

I agree more ppl should be like you

 

sherry - October 8

thanks so much:)

 

carrie - October 10

Hi Sherry,it is a shame when these youngsters feel they are mature enough,and a baby will affect both their lives,and the babys father forever.I am so glad that I waited for many yrs before having a baby with my husband.And boy,did I keep him waiting.We are in a powerful,strong relationship,and adore each other.

 

go carrie - October 10

go carrie, keep putting every teen on this site down! they are so stupid and immature, atleast you know how to act your age. LOL!!!

 

Once Again - October 10

Once again she did nto put anyone down, she simply stated that you are too immature to have children or be married at your young age. Being an immature age is not the same thing as "putting you down". When are you two going to realise that? A mature person would be able to realise the difference, not completely get defensive and take every claim of "wait until you are older" as a personal attack. Learn the difference.

 

Kat - October 10

Hi Sherry. I totally understand where you're coming from, and completely agree with you. The only problem I've had is that when I try to help the teens on this site who are trying to conceive, all I get in response is a lot of abuse and insults. I've tried to be so patient, and am diplomatic in all cases (I will never post anything judgemental), but I've found that in most cases I really can't talk to them on a level. It seems that they want to be spoken to as if they're adults who are able to make their own decisions, but they're unable to cope with an opinion which differs from their own. I do agree that it is better to try to help, but I can also see the other side of things; when you're trying to help someone who responds with abuse every time you fail to say what they want to hear, it can become extremely frustrating. While it can be argued that we should 'behave like adults' and handle this behaviour...it could also be argued that the teens who believe themselves to be mature enough to have a baby should act more like the adults they consider themselves to be, and should refrain from posting confrontational messages. I really do agree that good advice will help more than scolding...but I believe that this should be more a situation of give and take. If teens post asking for advice and opinions, they need to be prepared that everyone is different, everyone has different views. Not everyone will say what they want to hear...but this isn't an excuse to be rude to the people who are trying to help.

 

amanda - October 10

when are the two of who going to realize what? i hope that you are not talking about me, because if i wanted to say something i would use my name to do it. i am not scared to tell people how i feel on the Internet. but i will say that on every post that has to do with teenagers that she has been running her mouth off and its getting kind of old. but that is why i don't respond to peoples comments that i don't like, because they will eventually move on to other people to try to frustrate them. so onceagain, since she is talking to every teenager that is on this board it could have been anyone, and if i was going to say something and not put my name down then it would have been worse, but of course i don't need to sink to that level. have a goodnight.

 

carrie - October 11

once again,thank you for that naturally I agree with everything you said.So by having standards, opinions,and knowing what is right or wrong,I am putting someone down...great is'nt it?

 

Once Again - October 11

Apparently it means running your mouth as well :P Maybe one day they will learn to READ (and yes girls, THAT was a put down. But at this point a well deserved one since all you guys can do is jump on Carrie because she has a different opinion than you while claiming she calls teenagers stupid...TOTALLY FALSE). And Carrie, I could care less at this point with them both (though I truely hope things end up well for the both in life and the child), but it does get frustrating when someone new posts and they immediately jump in with, "don't bother, they will just abuse you c___p". Not exactly fair to people who DO want advice and opinions is it?

 

2:ONCE AGAIN AND CARRIE - October 11

ONCE AGAIN AND CARRIE GET LIVES AND GROW UP ALL U DO IS COME ON HERE AND START TROUBLE ... SAYIN THAT THESE TEENS ARENT MATURE... WELL IT SEEMS THEY ARE MORE MATURE THAN YOU... NOONE REPLY TO THEM ... ALL THEY ARE TRYING TO DO IS MAKE YOU MAD ..

 

susan. - October 11

Well done Carrie,Marcie,once again and others,you really got these girls all stressed out.I love the last post aimed at you lot asking you to grow up,coming from a immature person who cannot see sense when its staring them in the face.There again its teenagers trying to be mature!How are they making trouble.They are more diplomatic than me.I would just call the 14,15 etc slappers,too easy,girls like my mother and sister,I'm ashamed of.

 

LOL - October 11

Funny how your posts pop up right when Amanda and Samantha are on. But of course, that wouldn't be either of you girls now would it? :D Silly girls.

 

susan - October 11

Think that will upset me....no,don't like what you are hearing,cry baby....that fits actually!Immature grow up,hark at the one,swearing at me.I've put up with worse than that,a cousin of mine,renowned for an easy lay,I've had people try and tar me with the same brush,not me,Get a life,I've got one,but thanks for the gesture!No-one likes me,how the F.. do you know,know me do you from a few posts!Ha!Told you I'm not as tactile as other ladies,just a bit older than you lot,

 

charlotte - October 12

shame this one is getting to the bottom of the pile,I love the att_tude,I'm with marcie,carrie,once again,susan,poor little girls,wondre what they'll get in their xmas stocking this year,maybe they will get stuffed litterally!

 

Kat - October 12

Ok...I posted something (above)...and now I just want to say something to EVERYONE. Regardless of your age, if you're b___hing, arguing and name-calling you're being immature! And I'm really sorry, but I feel that if you're being abusive towards people you really don't know, you are in no position to call somebody else immature. Again, regardless of age; if you feel you are 'grown-up' enough to have a baby, you should be grown-up enough to handle difficult people without resorting to playground tactics.

 

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