Older Man

6 Replies
Baby - November 22

Im with a man who is almost 10 years my age. We are in love and age is nothing but a number, but he really wants a baby and to settle down, but because I am only 22, I have many opportunities yet in front of me. I dont mind getting married and settling down, I am welcoming it and I could not have found a better husband, but, in having a baby so soon, am I being selfish?

 

*X* - November 22

I don't think you're being selfish at all. It's only natural for him to want a baby at his age, and it's only natural for you to want to live your life a bit more at your age. At any rate, it would be a good idea to be married for a couple years first anyway, so the two of you can enjoy some time together for yourselves first. Perhaps if you put it that way to your bf, it might sound a bit more reasonable to him. I don't see why he'd be against waiting until you're at least 25 or so. It's only a few years, which is no time in the grand scheme of things.

 

Melissa - November 22

No, you are not being selfish. If he loves you he will allow you to fulfill your goals before having a baby.

 

Niki - December 7

I guess I'm old fashioned. I got married at 22, pursued my "goals" which actually were a complete waste of time and money. If I had to do it all over again, I would have started with the family right off and been at home where I should have been all along. :) I now have a beautiful daughter I adore and taking care of her and my husband is all any wife and mother should aspire to. The highest calling of a wife is motherhood. There are too many relationships where there are two "men" trying to bring home the bread and no woman to be the heart of the home and take care of it because she's out trying to be a "man." It's time women start realizing their true worth in the home.

 

Keep telling yourself that - December 7

You know, I was just going to reply to your post in a really nice manner, saying that you perhaps just had a bad experience in achieving your goals or maybe even in defining them. Then I finished reading the rest of your post and realized that you're just an idiot. You obviously failed and are jumping on an antiquated view of a woman in order to cover up your own failures. Either that, or your really a man.

 

Student - December 7

It is not at all selfish. I have family members who have done it both ways. My older brother and his wife got pregnant within a few months of getting married. They knew, however, that at my sister-in-law's age it was important to have children quickly. My husband and I waited 3 years to get pregnant. Both couples are doing very well. The point is that husband and wife were in agreement on the timing. My brother agreed with my sister-in-law that they should get pregnant right away. She is 7 years older than he. It can make quite a difference if the woman is older, but it is not as likely to make a difference if the man is older. Just be aware that the biggest reason to wait is to make sure that your marriage is strong. Nothing puts a bigger strain on a marriage than throwing a baby into the mix. I would recommend waiting until you have been married for a year, at least. The other thing I recommend is pre-marital counseling. Make sure your marriage starts off strong. Best of luck!

 

marcie. - December 7

baby,I believe it takes two to make a baby,so should be when you are both ready.My husband wanted a baby a few years after we got together,but I wanted a career,a nice home,etc,so he waited.For me,it was great and made it even more special when we had our first baby,because he had been patient and wanted me for me,not a baby machine.i had a horrendous time with my first birth,the s_xond was a section,my option,two different birthsbut glad we waited.

 

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