So What IS The Best Age To Get Pregnant

7 Replies
Jelly - October 24

And what do you personally believe one should have in their life (have done in their life as well) before TTC? when bringing a child into this world, what's important to you? ie car, money and house or Love, and gifts and nice clothes or.. would you say its 'wrong' for a single mother to get IVF or adopt, knowing she will be the sole parent, and the child wont have a father? All oppinions welcome...

 

To Jelly - October 25

GOOD QUESTION - However I can see arguments erupting everywhere here - I will answer these in point form …………….. * I believe a person should do whatever their heart desires. Some people want to travel, some don’t & some people want to buy a house & some don’t etc. When they are ready to begin “ttc”, they will know in themselves. However I believe that when “they know”, their partner should be aware and agree to. I believe it should not just be one person in the relationship that makes the decision to have a baby, I could get into the actual age thing, but who am I to judge????……………….. *The things that are important to me are, health, love, family, friends & being financially secure to have a baby. I believe it is important that a baby/child be raised in a “secure” home covering all of the aspects above (MY OPINION ONLY). Even though I know some people don’t have all the above things & still make the greatest mum’s/dad’s…… *By looking at some of my closest friends (Even when one of them had her first at 17), being single mums, has provided their children with a better, more loving, more secure home, than being with the Dead-Beat, drug addicted, abusive fathers of their children – their children are wonderful, always fed, bathed, clothed neatly and well mannered. (Just to clarify CERTAINLY NOT ALL fathers are dead-beat dads). I personally do not know enough about IVF versus single mum’s to have an opinion on it………………….. *Sorry my answer is SSSOooooo long, it is a pretty detailed question, but I am glad it was asked. Now Please don’t go attacking each other, over other peoples opinions……

 

charlotte. - October 26

I agree with the above,bringing a child into the world needs a lot of thought,not just as these girls have posted because they "feel like it"but should come because two people are in love,know each other well enough to understand each others values on life,and are devoted.You do need to be able to support a child,but in the past mothers managed by going without,not these days where you get it off the state which I believe is unfair,they struggled through to raise a family.I think its wrong for a single mother to get I.V.F,as like I said it takes two,as for adoption then maybe,after all it would benefit the child to be loved,than what its present life is like.To me you think what is best for the child,with IVFthe child is'nt even created so not there yet.For me its a case of back to basics,a child deserves to come into a home that is much wanted,and ready.I know some women may get frusterated,and even men for that matter,but some things for whatever reason you just can't have.

 

Dinah - October 30

Somewhere between college and menopause, having had some life experiences. Enough money to keep from pulling your hair out and enough love and time to raise a secure child. I husband is a nice touch, but some single moms do a lovely job. I don't think it is wrong to choose to be a single mom ( if she can manage all of the other things I've said), except that men don't get this option!!

 

michelle - November 10

i am 10 days past my period date, and i took a pregnancy test which was negative. if i don't start my period within another week, when should i test again?

 

ask sarah - November 10

90

 

mama-beans - November 10

I am a huge fan of the Mid 20's mom.. I think a person needs to have had some experiences, no matter what they are, before settling down with children. Have SOME experiences in life as YOU before commiting yourself to have every other experience as a mom. True love and a comitted relationship are a MUST, as well as a stable financial environment... I'm not saying you have to be wealthy, but you need to be comfortable.. Not have to worry about diaper money or, if it is your choice, formula ( which can get VERY expensive.. my friend spends $200 a month just to feed her 5 month old.) As far as IVF goes....that is a hard road to travel down. Some women just KNOW they will be single, or they are getting to "that age" where they are running out of time to have children, yet haven't met "the one" yet. STABLE, Loving mothers are always a good thing.. so although it isn't the BEST situation (IMHO) I think it is a hell of a lot better then unprepared parents who are too young to know what they are getting into. Adoption and IVF are wonderful things.. as well as expensive. I think this option should be available to everyone who can afford it, be it single persons or Gay couples... Everyone deserves the chance to be a parent when they are mature enough to accept that huge responsability.

 

Lesley - November 12

To bring a baby into the world I think you need a lot of love. Wether you are on your own or not has very little to do with it, although it would be nice for a child to have a father in their lives. I grew up without my dad. He left my mum when I was 6 month old, she brought me and my brothers up on her own. She thought it was unfair to start another relationship - incase it didn't work out. She didn't want us hurt anymore than we were already. She has done a brilliant job of bringing us up. My oldest brother is in a very high paid job, just settled down with his girlfriend and are expecting their first baby. My other brother has just got a promotion in his job, and has a daughter (who he doesn't see - he took after my dad i'm afraid to say and cares more about himself than anyone else :-( which is a shame.) When we were growing up he always said he would never do that to his children, It gets me how people can do that. I have 3 children and NEVER in a million years could I walk out on them and never see them again. I don't own my own home, and I have no intention in doing so either. I rent a place with my partner. I also don't think marrage is such a big thing. Don't get me wrong, I would love to get married but I don't think it is one of them things that has to be done before you have children.

 

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