What Do You Think -pg113860057418

36 Replies
Amy - January 30

i am 15 and have a boyfriend who is 20 i have been with him for a year now and we are both very much in love we will be getting married very soon and want a child what do you think?

 

SLP - January 30

While I am sure that you and your boyfriend are very much in love, I believe that even at 20 there are so many life changes to go through - things you can't even imagine. Wait until you are at least out of high school before you consider marriage, and then talk about having children. You still have so many wonderful things to experience yourself, and you will change more than you can imagine over the next 5 years.

 

frankschick2001 - January 30

OK you came on a public forum and ended your question with "what do you think?" so before I even answer, I'll just ask you not to get all crazy offended when people post things on here that you don't like. With that being said, I think that you are nuts to even consider marriage and children at 15 years old. I had a boyfriend at 16. Dated until I was almost 20. Today, at 32, I look back and wonder what I EVER saw in that guy!!! But back then, I would have given my very life for him. People change, and you should let yourself grow before committing your ENTIRE life to one person. If he is the one for you, then you will be together marriage or not. But there is no way you can convince me that marriage and children are ok for a 15 year old. I don't care if you have a job, are rich, are mature. None of that matters. You are way too young.

 

me....... - January 31

I personally think he should be arrested. No, 20yr old should be involved with a 15yr old. I dont even think marriage should enter into the equation nevermind kids. I think if you have to ask what strangers think, you are not ready for it.

 

Mommy - January 31

Not everyone who gets with someone younger is a pervert. My own dad married my mom when she was 16 and he was 26. I agree with the asking strangers part, though. If you have to ask then you must not be too sure yourself. I have no room to tell you what you should or should not do seeing that I got with my husband at 15 and he was 19 and we have 2 kids. If you think that you can handle it I know that our opinions won't stop you. Just remember that things can and do go wrong in couples of any ages and that having a baby is not an event to be taken lightly. It is very hard work, and expensive, and life changing. As for the marriage thing, if that's what you really want, go ahead. Just remember that it is not all fun and games. It's give and take and means forever. No more dating, no more "just for me" money, nothing anymore is solely yours after you are married. I would know because being married and having children has brought me into the reality of paying rent with extra cash if he comes up short, buying diapers and forula instead of seeing movies, sleeping on my kids' schedule, ect. Just think long and hard about what family life actually means. P.s. Before everyone thinks I'm okay with pedofiles, I mean that anyone who is say 15 or over and has the consent of the parents should be able to see someone who is not outrageously older than them. 5 years is not a whole lot in the big picture and most parents would (hopefully) see who is or isn't fit for their kids to date.

 

me...... - February 1

I can see your point, but what happens when he turns 21 and is legal to drink? What happens when he wants to go out at night with his friends to different bars? I do understand that not all people go out drinking though. I just dont understand what a 20yr old could possibly see in a 15yr old. I wasnt even aloud to date guys when I was 15 or at least I couldnt bring them home. I was 18 almost 19 when I lost my virginity. What are kids into now a days that makes them think they need a child and marriage at 15, or insome cases younger? I would just like to know.

 

Mommy - February 2

I can't speak for other people but when I started having s_x with my then bf, I knew the risks and practiced good b/c but it failed...twice. I only had s_x with him because I really did love him, still do. Because we are in love and already haxe 2 kids, the next thing that would have been on the list is marriage. I am already binded to this man through my kids and neither of us have any intentions of dating other people so getting married was obvious to us. I may have waited also but it was better economically for us to get married sooner. He was already paying for everything for our kids but due to a long, strange welfare case (my dad was on.) He (dh) was forced to pay child support that went to pay back the state for the money my dad recieved and I never seen ANY of. So needless to say he was paying 200/month to the state for kids he was already supporting and money I wasn't getting from my dad. About the going out, DH doesn't drink but I let him go out to eat or movies with his friends and he lets me go out with my friends and we do things just us together and as a family. I think getting married is the best thing I ever did. HOWEVER, AS I SAID, IT'S ALSO HARD AND STRESSFUL. GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS FOR THE WRONG REASONS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR THE WORST. I HAVE SEEN IT FIRST HAND, SO AMY, WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, THINK LONG AND HARD. MARRIAGE AND KIDS MEAN FOREVER.

 

Allison - February 2

To Mommy: I'm not 15 and wanting a child. I'm 27, married, and have a child. I'm trying to prove a point. When I was 15, I'm sure I thought that I knew everything too. If I had followed through with everything I thought was "right", I would be a different person today...for the worse. Don't be a teenage mom. I'm about the only one of my friends who was not, and I actually had a childhood, went to college, and have a degree. Grow up, live your life....you'll be a better parent for it. I think that the comment WAS called for. Some people need a wake up call. If you think that is a sign of immaturity, then that is just showing how "mature" you are. How old are you with 2 kids?

 

EricaG - February 2

I believe that mommy meant you could have used a less sarcastic approach. I agree with her. And since you do have a child I think you would do well to learn that sarcasm doesn't make kids want to listen to you. It just turns them away. Mommy had a compa__sionate, experienced and well thought out response where as yours was insensitive and sarcastic. The world would be a better place if people weren't so bitter and were a little more compa__sionate and understanding.

 

Mommy - February 2

Allison, I'm 18. My boys were both b/c babies and I am married to their father. We do everything ourselves and I think that I'm a great mom, even though I'm young. And thank you, EricaG, I'm glad you understood my response. :o)

 

Allison - February 3

I don't agree with either of you. It is my right to answer any question any way I please. Being sarcastic while answering a question that I think is ridiculous in the first place, has nothing to do with my parenting skills or how well my child listens to me. Again, I was trying to prove a point. Not everything you think is correct at 15, is right for your life plan. Sometimes people need to hear a bit of sarcasam to see how silly their question really is. It is your perogative to agree or not. It really does not matter to me. That is the beauty of free speech. To EricaG: I may be coming across to you as bitter and not compa__sionate, but I think that I am being realistic. Again, that is the way you choose to interpret what I am saying. Agree, disagree, whatever. At the end of the day, I am happy with my life.

 

frankschick2001 - February 3

Allison, don't bother arguing with them, it's a waste of breath. I agree with you. If When I was 15, I begged my mohter to let me drop out of high school to go to beauty school. Luckily, she didn't. A 15 year old child (and yes, in this country a 15 year old is a child, no matter how mentally mature) has no business getting married and starting a family. It's nonsense.

 

Mommy - February 3

It may be nonsense to you but I know people who have gotten married young and are still together. My aunt married my uncle when she was 15, she is now 49 and they are still together. Hopefully, the younger these girls get married, the less s_x partners they have and less STD's get spread. Same with the guys. Unless you would rather them go out and "date around" before getting married. Like it or not, younger people are having s_x with their boyfriends and girlfriends and they can have a new significant other every week. But I guess that young people and monogamy shouldn't mix, right? I guess you would rather that these girls have many boyfriends and get pregnant before marriage and not know who the dad is. But hey, your right, that is your right to think whatever you want.

 

frankschick2001 - February 3

MOMMY: What the heck are you talking about? There is no way, and no words you can say that would convince me that a 15 year old child planning to soon get married and start a family is the right thing. No way. This isn't 1950 anymore. Yes, teenagers date and they should. It's the only way to determine what they like and don't like in a mate. But whatever, you'll argue that point too. She's too young. Your grandparents and aunts or whatever are the EXCEPTION.

 

Mommy - February 3

I'm just saying, she OBVIOUSLY has her parents blessing if she is getting married at 15. Whether YOU like it or not, once she is married she is CONSIDERED AN ADULT. And if she chooses to have a child AFTER she is married, the government recognizes that she can make her OWN decisions as an ADULT. And yes, if it is what she truly wants, when she gets married she will start a family REGARDLESS of what you or me or ANYONE thinks. So long as she understands the importance of what she is doing she shouldn't be criticized. It's her life not yours or anyone elses. Whether she ends up alone and sad at 20 or partnered and happy until she dies, it is has nothing to do with anyone but her and her family.

 

Allison - February 3

Frankschick and I seem to have a very similar point of view, and that is most likely because we are older, and have more experience. I DO expect my daughter to date more than one person in her life. I had mulitiple boyfriends and partners, all of whom helped shape me into who I am today, and let me see what I liked and disliked about relationships. Dating is a part of being a young person. Monogomy is fine when you're young....but married and having a baby at 15 is just plain ridiculous! I totally agree with Frankschick on this one too. it is definately not 1800 when people only lived to be 40 and had to get married at 13. Maybe once you grow up a little, you'll understand where we are coming from.

 

Amber - February 4

well I know you are in love because I was in love at that age too, but listen dont be in such a hurry to grow up I know people tell you that and you think whatever but listen I got married at 18 and am still married but anyways, I love my husband very much but I wish I got to spend more time with my friends, you might not believe me now but one day you'll know exactly what I'l talking about... I wish you all the best of luck to you and your boyfriend.

 

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