Why Do Older Pregnant Women Pre Judge Younger Pregnant Women

30 Replies
Sonny0719 - February 24

I hate to generalize but why do older pregnant women (27 to 40 )prejudge younger pregnant women 17 to 24? For some reason older pregnant women assumed that I was a single pregnant, jobless pregnant woman because of my age (I'm 20). Meanwhile I was married, career in business administration making a great salary, my own apartment, and pursuing a degree in bus. managment. This was relevant in my life , I am not stating that all older pregnant women are like that. I always was asked how old I was then given a look or a rude comment.

 

EricaG - February 24

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter, 19 when I had her and I just turned 20 this month. She is 7 months old now. I was married before I got pregnant with her, she was planned. I'm a stay at home mommy and my husband has a wonderful career. I am confident that I am a WONDERFUL mother and even though I've been give "the look" or asked when I got married and had people count the months off in their head to see if I was married before I got pregnant, I don't really care. I know I'm a great mommy and anybody who sticks around long enough to see for themselves would know that. I guess we just have to accept that we can't change the way other people think, but just pray that they learn leave judgement up to God instead of taking it into their own hands to judge, for the sake of them being a happier person.

 

Sonny0719 - February 26

wow you guys are great! I love your stories, very empowering! Well I gave birth to my son January 28,2007 when I get the look again, because I know I will, I will think of what you two ladies had to say. Thank you! Docbytch you ROCK! haha

 

docbytch - February 26

Thanks Sonny. I know you will do a fine job with your baby. Heck...hope I remember what to do myself when the time comes in about 8 mos...it's been so d__ned long....LOL

 

moescrilla - March 1

people judge older women too, though. My sister in law was 41 when she gave birth to her last child, and are not formally married, but I guess you would say common law married. People gave her crazy looks all the time because of her age and marital status. I am 21 and have a 18 month old and am pregnant with #2. I know people probably think I'm an unwed mother when they see my by myself in the store with my son (my husband works offshore, so he's gone allot) But I dont care. Who cares??? They can think what they want. It doesnt change your life, so screw em'.

 

kimberly - March 2

I wouldn't judge you. I was pregnant at 20 too. I had my son a few days after I turned 21. I was also well set in my life and 8 years later am still happily married and my dh and I just bought a home and I am pregnant with #3. I know that some 20 year olds are just not ready and that some are ready, but I would not judge you. I think most people are just trying to give the advice that they would give thier daughters if this happened in thier life or they think of other younger people they know that just couldn't handle a baby at that age, ya know!

 

Belief - March 2

Don't take this personally, but why let it bother you what other people think? It isn't an issue unless you make it an issue.

 

momma3tobe - March 5

I could rant about this forever. My husband and I were married (BEFORE getting pregnant btw) at 17 and had out first baby at 18. It was a__sumed that I wasn't married, that I was clueless, and I was a drain on the Welfare system. None of it is true. I am 23 and expecting number 3, STILL married. My husband has worked at high paying jobs since we were very young. He makes alot more than most of the people "Looking down" on us, but still the a__sumptions are made. I think what burns me up the most is that nature MEANT for women to have children in thier late teens and twenties... there is a REASON 30 somethings have higher rates of birth defects and more trouble TTC. I am an Athiest, so the religious aspect of it has never been important to me... but I live in the south so I get alot of unwelcomed comments. It really isn't all older women, but those who do feel the need to make snide comments really burn me up!

 

Belief - March 5

I'm burned up by younger people always feeling as though they are not good enough and complaining about people "looking down" on them. No one can make you feel a certain way unless you start that feeling within you. Who really cares what age you are when you have a child? Whatever is right for you and your significant other is what should matter. I could go on and on about how people in certain parts of the nation have children at a much younger age than in other parts of the nation. Do you really see a lot of people in higher populations getting married and having four children by the time they are 25? NOPE...but you do see it in a less populated region because that is how they are brought up. Other parts, education and career is a top priority. I was brought up with that kind of thinking where you are supposed to have kids and a family before education and though it wasn't right for me, it was certainly right for my friends and other family members. I chose to have a career first and find stability financially and emotionally before wanting to bring a child into this world. This isn't wrong or right for anyone but my husband and myself. I think if women were more secure in their decisions this topic wouldn't even matter to anyone.

 

Bigzy - March 9

Hi ladies: My sister in laws parents were 15 when they had her sister and by the time they were 21 they had 4 children. They have been married now for 46 years, extremely wealthy after being down and out as kids and live in a 5 million dollar home they JUST bought. It can happen!!

 

Sonny0719 - March 10

Belief. This is an issue because other women always make it an issue for me. I was FINANCIALLY STABLE AS WELL AS EDUCATED. AT 15 I wa at NYU. By 18 I had a career in business administration working at a top staffing agency, with a high salary. I brought it up to make it aware because it bothers me that people are so ignorant. Hopefully, a young woman or older woman will read our stories then maybe we can change their minds on juding others. Thank you. I respect women that have careers before children and vice versa.

 

Belief - March 10

Point well taken. However, my point is that it is not an issue unless one makes it an issue. People worry about what other people think of their decisions and they need to be confident that they have made a decision that was right for them at that time in life. the ironic part is that the young women on this thread are judging others, just exactly the way they are criticizing older women for doing. I think as a gender, we need to be supportive regardless of age and be proud of what we have to offer the world. MOESCRILLA has the best point. It happens to women of all ages and we really should be more confident and not care what other people think about how we are living our lives. SONNY0719 -bravo to one of the most interesting threads yet!

 

orchidmom - March 13

I would not judge you for that.. I'm almost 31 years old, but I also have gone through that ages stage, so I know how it felt.

 

Kristin11 - March 13

Belief i dont think she is sayign that she takes it to heart, but maybe that it is fustrating that she is being judged on her age. I too and a young mother i am 35 weeks pregnant with my second child and 23 years old. I am a fulltime working mother and have a great career in project management in a roofing company yes a industry that is generally thought of as male dominated. I too get rude comments from people about my age and they all a__sume that i am unwed and living off welfare. I am happily married and our 1st child is 3 now and we own our own home. My husband also owns 2 businesses. I thiny Sonny is just upset that people are so judgemental. I too take offense does that mean that i am unhappy with myself or my life no, but it still bothers me to hear people's ignorance.

 

Kristin11 - March 13

sorry about the typo's

 

sososleepy - March 13

Hey Sonny, the older we get, the younger you look. Perhaps looking at you reminded them of their age. You don't owe them an explanation; reply to their question with something like, "Why how old are you?" and watch them squirm a little.

 

Sonny0719 - March 15

THANK YOU EVERYONE! I am happy to read all your responces and support. Thank you Belief for the compliment. I definitely agree with you...if you make it an issue it is...yet I cannot help but be annoyed. I do not take their comments to heart. Its just a pet peeve. I do not judge older women for having children at an old age. I think women of all ages, religions, races can have children whenever they want just aslong as they nurture them with love. I will definitely follow SOSOSLEEPS advice. I like that comeback. Thank you for the support!

 

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