HUSBAND JUST DON T UNDERSTAND

18 Replies
Beth - March 1

aarrrgghhh, I am SO frustrated!! my fiance and I get on eachothers nerves for EVERYTHING now, and he says that I take things to seriously. Well I am hormonal and emotional, and I hate it too, and then I start crying and that just adds on to his frustration. But the other thing is he always wants "it" and I am not in the mood. I feel bad, but its just that I am tired. He has been being more distant and last night I was up front with him about why is he so distant and he told me that he knows that I am pregnant and that I don't always feel like "it" but that its almost like a rejection to him and he feels that it is making us distant in a way. I did not want to turn around and throw in his face that this is MY first child, he has three already that live with us and even though he takes them to school in the morning, I get up at 4:45 am to go to work, work all day, leave and go pick up all three kids, go to the store almost every day to get things to make for dinner, go home and make sure the kids do their homework, put up with them not doing their homework and fighting with eachother, and make dinner at the same time for them and when he gets home from work and then he comes home, and thats that. . .I do all the dishes except if he has off the next day I will leave them and he does them the next day. But I don't want to say THATS why, because it feels like I am blaming the kids and I love them more than anything, but it IS hard and we have only lived together for 7 months so its still new. . .what do I do?

 

hs - March 1

Yikes! I feel for you. I've been fortunate and my fiance hasn't bugged me about "it" since I found out I was pg, and that was weeks ago! I've just been to sick and tired. He even started doing my house chores without me telling him also. I hope it gets better for you. I would tell him that it's normal for you to be so tired like that. Hell I'm in bed by 7:30 some nights!!!

 

ekay - March 1

My gosh Beth, it's like you've been spying on me!!!! My husband has turned into such a 'woman' lately. He gets all p__sy over EVERYTHING! And as for my libido, well, it is non existant and he pulls the "you don't think I am attractive anymore". I am like, holy c___p, our roles are completely reversed. We've been together for almost 8 years so we have been through a lot, but c___p man get ahold of yourself. Men DO NOT realize everything we do in 1 day let alone a week. We have been bickering a lot lately too. I feel your pain. Now I am going to eat some chocolate..........

 

Beth - March 1

Thanks hs, I hope things get better to, I am going to try and sit down with him and tell him all these tings tonight but I know I will start vrying and that just does not go over well, he doesn't get mad or anything but he just gets this "here we go again look". He does do stuff around the house, I can't say he doesn't do anything but only like on his days off, I do tings EVERY DAY!! he does not like a messy house so he will pick u, but his way of picking up is throwing it all away, so I rather do it myself. Haa haa, Ekay, yeah he says it is like we are getting "distant" but the way he says it is like it is me bing distant because I don't want him, but I still love him and try to cuddle in bed, it is his att_tude and just him that is being distant. And I went and got myslef a snickers, ha haa!

 

Deb - March 1

My husband was having sympathy mood swings for me I think. One minutes he was fine and the next he would fly off the handle about something. He is getting better after I said something about it but he has been pretty understanding about me being tired and stuff. HEY BETH!!! I don't know how old those children are but put there rearends to work. Any age kid can help pick up around the house and then maybe on a day off you can reward them with a movie or something that doesn't take alot of energy on your part. I do that with my step daughter sometimes.

 

hs - March 1

I guess I should be thankful he's been as good as he has with me. Although he's been working a lot of overtime so I don't see him much. Ha ha! Maybe he's staying away!!! I've b__wn up at him a few times about stupid things and he would normally lash back but he just kind of stands there and lets me b__w. The first few weeks I was pg I was always bawling. I'd bawl at my desk at work, at home, in bed, at my first doc appt. It sucked. Then one day it just went away and then the sickness came. Ugh! I was a total b___h to everyone. I just wanted to curl up in bed for days on end. I still get that way sometimes. Tell him you're not the only one feeling this way and it's normal! Maybe he'll pitch in more and let you have your mood swings and he should just grin and bear it, because you honestly don't mean to aim it all at him. He's just there! I had a hard time not b__wing my stack at work with co-workers so I'd wait and get home and let him have it. Poor guy!

 

Beth - March 1

Thats the thing, I DON'T have mood swings with him, I hold EVERYTHING in because he is so d__n sensative that all hell might break lose. I have not had one mood swing towards him, maybe that to is where my energy is going, holding it all back, haa haa. The kids are 9,8,and 5 and I do make them help around the house. The 9 year old girl always asks if I need help, the 8 year old boy takes all day and night to do his homework, I try to help and he STILL gives me problems. . .I called and talked to his teacher and she says he is fine in cla__s so I don't know what it is or what else to do. And the 5 year old little boy. . .I give him a few things to do, but he HALF does them so I might as well do them myself, and the boys have a hard enough time just keeping their room clean to do aything else :0(. I love them to death, but the way they had been raised by their mom they did NOTHING and NOW I am trying to install discipline, which my fiance never did nad is now trying to also and it is so hard, they were already used to the way things were and in our house there are RULES.

 

Beth - March 1

You know what else. . .I am back in school now, I only go one night a week but that one night is Wed's from 6-9 AND so other nights I have homework to get done myself!!

 

Heidi - March 1

Maybe sit down and talk with your fiance and tell him he needs to help handing out orders with his kids and make sure they get done. You said you've been together 7 months now? That's not long to learn to be mom to three new kids and then expecting your own. I'd want some help from him with HIS kids! That's great you all get along good too. That helps, but I'd still be asking him to help with his kids more with homework and getting them to finish their chores so you can take care of yourself and relax some more. I don't know how my mom did it with 7 kids and a dad who didn't lift a finger in the house cus that was women's work!

 

Beth - March 1

Hi Heidi, No we have been living together for seven months but we have been together for almost two years. So I have known the kids, but becoming this big of a part of their life has been hard. When him and his ex split she had them, then she gave them to him, then she wanted them back, then she gave them back to him. . .that last time we were together already and he said that was it it was the last time and made her sign papers giving up her custody, he said he was hard not having them but she wanted them so he let her, but the back and forth had to stop so we now have them and he would NEVER give them up, he has realized how much he needs them too. As for homework and everything I do, I do it becaus eI love those kids, and he has NO patience, he rather tell them to just not do it or give them the answer then sit there and battle it out with them. He knows he needs to learn and he admits it, but thats always AFTER the fact. I am going home tonight to talk to him. I know he has a VERY stressful job, but I have a semi stressful job and then the kids, we could at least make the agreement that he cleans up the kitchen after dinner or something.

 

Phoebe - March 1

ZERO! I am in no mood to have s_x. Since I had 2 miscarriages before... I think he understands... I am so happy the occasional rubby will do.... I'm sorry Beth...

 

angie - March 1

sounds familiar, i'm sorry i have no advice. my husband wants s_x every two days and if he doesn't get it he asks if he can masturbate to p___nography because otherwise "he can't concentrate" it bugs me and hurts me but he's so good to me in other ways that I put up with it.

 

Beth - March 2

Well I went home and talked to the fiance last night, AFTER the fact of course that we had to run out to the store to get something and he made a smart a__s remark about something that made me mad and in turn he got p__sed that I was mad and asked what it was this time and how he can't say anything anymore. . .well we got home and I talked to him and told him how I felt and broke down my daily routine for him just in case he was missing it and he didn't say a d__n word. ..so I walked away and went and got in bed. When I heard him coming I pretended to be alseep and so he got in bed and changed the channel. I could feel him looking at me and after a few minutes he woke me up, pulled me in close to him and thanked me for everything I did and told me he knew what I did and that he guess he just took it for granted or didn't let me know he appreciated it! Sssoooo we will see if that sticks in his mind at least for a few days!! haa haa.

 

J - March 3

My hubby doesn't understand either. I have morning sickness so bad I can't get off the couch. I also am tired and have a very active 2 year old boy. My husband complains he is s_x deprived. This is the last thing on my mind. All I can think is how selfish can he be? I can't even move and all he is thinking about is the next time he can have s_x. I am so frustrated with him right now!

 

Sherry - March 3

See it's totally different for me if I get a nap and am rested at least I love to have s_x and take control over and I am now 9 weeks preg today. And I enjoy it no pain and beautiful orgasms oh boy it seems backwards but I haven't heard anyone yet saying that s_x is great and enjoyed at this point.

 

Beth - March 3

Well if I was able to get a nap in or be the slightly bit rested I may be saying that s_x right now is great, but I get up at 4:45am, work 6 hours from 6am-3pm and then have three kids and homework, and laundry and dinner. . .I get no break until I climb into bed at night.

 

sherry - March 3

i completely understand it is crazy when you have other duties i work too, but this is my first child no other children

 

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