I HATE My In Laws They Are Being So AWFUL About The Baby

6 Replies
Allie - January 18

I really cannot stand my in-laws. They truly do suck. So, my husband and I tell them about me being pregnant and they were neither happy nor nice. Granted, this wasn't exactly 'planned' and was sort of an oops, but a good oops and I was elated to find out that I was pregnant. Anyways, I didn't get a congratulations or a hug from any of them. All they simply said was that we were too young and we don't have enough money. Mind you, my husband and I are both 27, been married for almost 2 years, have a new house, and two good jobs (I'm an ICU nurse, he's an accountant). So I have NO IDEA what the h__l they are talking about. Also, my miserable sister-in-law's first response after we told them we were pregnant was, "I hate kids, I'm going to be a terrible Aunt. First all we heard about was the wedding, no all I'm going to hear about is this baby....". NO EXAGGERATING!! She's 22 and the most awful, hateful, jealous person I have ever met. And my mother-in-law just CAN'T accept the fact that me and this baby are going to be the most important people in his life. Cut the cord, lady, seriously.....Within 2 days of telling everyone about the pregnancy, I got a call from EVERY MEMBER of my side of the family congratulating me and telling us how excited they were. I heard NOTHING from my husband's side. It just hurts and I'm p___sed and don't know how to handle all the negativism. My husband has been accepting, but being around his negative family makes him wonder if we can really handle a baby, etc... and I HATE that he's being tainted by them. It just sucks and I'm sad. At least I have my side of the family, who is just wonderful and excited for us. I just don't know what to do. Sorry this is so long, I really had to vent!!! Anyone else care to share similar experiences/advice???

 

Erica - January 18

I don't have much advice for you but I just want to tell you that I'm sorry about what you're going through. My family is ecstatic about my pregnancy, but my husbands family... not so much. They aren't mean about it but it's like they don't really like to talk about it and M y father in law, after knowing for 7 weeks, still hasn't said congratulations. It hurts, but I've learned to just bask in the affection of my family and kind of stay away from his. good luck

 

Katie - January 18

I hear you!!! I have gone through very similar things. We announced being pregnant to my dad and sister first who were beside themselves excited. I am the oldest and this is the first grandchild, or niece/nephew. I too got calls from aunts, cousins, etc all super excited and congratulating us. My husbands side however wasn't quite the same. They were bent out of shape because there apparently we were showing "favorites" by telling my family first!! Helloo....doesnt somebody have to be first!??? Then hubby's brother told his sister before we could (the next morning....we were planning on meeting her for lunch that day) and so she was p__sed and just started picking a fight about about 6 different issues just trying to be b___hy and ruin it for us. My husband is the baby of 5 kids and they all have kids, so this was like no big deal. Just comparing reactions from both sides (his fam and mine) just depressed me and made me furious. Why do they have to act like this?? Can't they just be happy for us? I let it bug me for about a month, then I figured that they were ruining this for us and I was finished LETTING THEM! My advice is this....they are who they are and if they want to be like that, fine. Try not to let them get to you. ENJOY your pregnancy and if they want to enjoy it with you, great, if not, what can you do??? I say...CONGRATS!!! :)

 

Brandi Nikki - January 18

Oh gosh dont feel bad half my family is the same way...(my dad & step mom...and others...)They are mad at me for getting married at such a young age ...but havent yet told them that i am having a baby...i kinda dont want to, 2 be honest...i kno my hubby dont....they dont get along at all....that a VERY long story.But the family i have told are VERY happy.already tring to name it..lol this baby wasnt expected at all be cause of my body being messed up due to depo & ortho.as far as ur age and money i wouldnt worry what they say both of yalls jobs make good $$. ur hubby & u shouldnt worry about what they say both of yall will make GREAT parents. CONGRATS!!!!!

 

Allie - January 18

Thanks for all your great responses. At least I don't feel so alone in this. I just hate people that can't be happy for others, especially something as amazing as a pregnancy. What the hell is wrong with some people? I guess I'll just have to get over it, but I hope they don't lure my husband to the dark side and make him not excited about the baby. He's been ok, but still puts his family (particularly his mother) before me and I don't think that's right. I feel like I should be the priority. Is that selfish? I don't think so. I just hate the situation. I want my child to have two sets of loving, wonderful grandparents and that just isn't going to happen. I hope my great family is able to compensate for such miserable relatives on my husband's side.

 

Deb - January 19

You and your husband need to be on the same page. He needs to support you and the baby 100% and you both need to stand up to his family. Don't let them push you around. You are plenty old enough to take care of a baby...look at all of the really young moms that are doing just fine. You are in a stable relationship and have great jobs...that's all you need. If they don't want to be happy about it and be involved in their grandchild's life, then that's their problem!

 

snickelfritz - January 19

I have a slightly similar experience but it's just my MIL. My husband and I decided (btw, this is our second child... edd 17 months after our first was born... dh is 30, I'm 27) that if she doesn't want to be happy with talk about the baby, then she won't get any talk about the baby. We don't tell her anything. She has started coming around and asking us about the pg every now and then, but when she does, she gets the minimal info. Until she can show that she's excited and happy about this pg, she's NOT going to be a part of it. I had my last straw after DH had "talked" to her about her att_tutde. She told me that my husband had fussed at her but that he just didn't understand. She said, "I know how hard it is to have an infant" (um... me too... my son is 9 months old... she only had dh, so she doesn't "know" how hard it is to raise two).... then she said, "you're just going to have such a hard time with this and he doesn't realize how hard it's going to be." Excuse me, but we can sit here and dwell on the "poor me"s of this pregnancy and worry and gripe and complain the whole time or we can be excited that our family is getting bigger! I told her, the way I see it is that you can always handle what God gives you. You may not be able to handle what you take on yourself, but you can handle what you're given. She said, "well... I don't know." and that was the last time I spoke to her about my pg. Good luck to you! In my opinion, if they're going to give you grief over talking about your pg, just don't talk about it with them. It will save you a lot of stress.

 

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