Legal Issues Of A May Baby

6 Replies
steffie - September 25

I am going to be a single mother and the father wants to have his parents take care of the baby and I want my parents to take care of the baby...we are not going to be together because he does not want to be with me...but I'm worried since we are not married and live in different states...while I am attending school do I have the right to let my parents watch the baby until I am done with school, and I will visit the baby every chance I get...we will be seperated by a few states me and my parents...do i have the right to make this happen because I dont want his parents to make me pay child support when I'm in school...and since I'm going through this pregnancy alone and would be raising the child alone...why couldnt I have my parents watch the baby while I go to nursing school?...any legal advice please help?

 

sarah21 - September 26

Legally, you can do what you want to with the baby. If you want it to stay with your parents, you can. The father would have to take you to court and win custody of the child in order for him to take it to his parents, in which case you would be responsible for child support anyway. The good news is, the mother is almost always awarded custody of the child, even if the father wants it, unless she is like a drug addict or dangerous. But you should still get real legal advice.

 

kay101 - September 26

OK, I have lots of questions. Does he want his parents to have custody of the baby? Or is he in school also and wants them to take care of the baby while he's gone also? If he wants custody HIMSELF, I would probably suggest tranferring schools so your parents will only be with the baby while you are in cla__s. OR I would get an apartment near campus and have the baby in daycare while you are in cla__s. You could probably take some online cla__ses to make it easier on yourself also. I'm only saying this because you don't want him to be able to prove he can spend more time with the baby than you are able to. A judge would rather grant custody to one of the biological parents. You should be ok taking care of the baby yourself and still going to school. It takes a little more work, but I promise you can do it. He would have to pay child support, which would include day care costs.

 

ChattyKathy - September 26

As Sarah said, The courts generally like to keep custody with the mother unless there is some obvious reason (like criminal behavior) that she should not be permitted to raise the child. Therefore, you will be allowed to decide who can care for the child while you are at school. However, I would not suggest offering custody to your parents. That gets you into a whole mess of legal battles. Its just easier for you to keep custody but let your parents take care of the baby.

 

steffie - September 27

first of all thank you so much for responding...he is in the navy and is 26 years old, he is continuing to get his BA so he can become an officer. He lives in Texas and I live in WA. I loved him with all my heart and he doesnt want to be with me. I am going through this pregnancy alone and he wants his parents to have the baby probably so he doesnt have to pay child support...there would be no way he could take care of the baby by himself. We are both trying to finish our degrees and I was willing to work it out with him but he doesnt want to...I will be going into nursing school and that is full time and there is no way I could take care of the baby and go to school. I dont know where my school would be...but wherever I get excepted that is where I need to go regardless...and my parents would be in an entire diffferent state...I want the baby...but sad to say I dont want to be selfish and not give the baby all the chances it could have...his parents are 60 years old and already have a couple kids living with them...and this is going to be a new born...my mom and her husband are alone and only 40...it would only be while I'm in school...I'm sure he does not want to pay child support either because he is one of those "I need to finish my life and get what I want done". He has already asked me to get an abortion before and I'm thinking he only is doing this so he wont have to look bad or pay child support...I am not wanting legal guardian ship to my parents but my mom understands...I just need to know if I have the authority do let the baby stay with them while I'm away at school since we are not married and live in different states...and he just wants them to watch the baby...there is nothing really with custody more like long term grandparent babysitters...

 

kay101 - September 27

Ah navy man. You are actually very lucky. You will have to have a dna test done since the two of you were never married, but once you have the results he HAS to provide the baby with tricare insurance, which is the probably the best you can have. A person in the navy gets EXTRA money for either being married or having a child, so it's almost like the military will be paying his child support for him. He probably won't see much of a decrease in his pay, if any at all. You may want to mention that to him incase he doesn't know, to eliminate the possibility of him wanting his parents to have custody for the sole reason he doesn't want to pay it. I would deffinately suggest filing for custody as soon as the baby is born, getting the dna test so he will have to provide insurance and pay child support. They'll toss his b___t in jail too if he doesn't pay it :) I had to call my daughter's father's commanding officer because he would always pay it late, so now I get the full amount directly deposited into my bank account on the first of every month. It is taken out of his paychecks in allotments.

 

steffie - September 28

Kay101...I think you were sent to me by GOD...i think i love you...haha...he wants to be apart of the baby's life and would pay but now this...he gets paid more...wow...never knew that...my step father is the navy and a chief...he wants me to tell him the command of the baby's father so he could have the money deposited into my checking account directly...how can I file for full custody of the baby...he is a bio med tech and gets paid really well...he is an e-6 trying to get an officer's position by next year...huh...I still care for him so much but DISLIKE him with a pa__sion...God works in funny ways...but I wonder what will come of this?...how old is your daughter?...I'm due in May of 08...I'm only 2 months but MAN I already have a basket ball...

 

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