Pregnant Same Time As Sister

31 Replies
Mama-O-One+ - October 31

OK, opinions here please! My sister and her hubby tried for... one month and became pregnant with their second child. Our first children are 8 months apart, although I started trying a year before SHE became pregnant... so we both have one child, hers older by 8 months, and she is currently 10 weeks pregnant.. WELL.... I just found out that I am pregnant as well! We have MAJOR fertility issues, so although we weren't preventing a pregnancy, we sure are surprised to find ourselves this way! SO.. here's my question. When I told her, she was VERY MAD. I just don't understand this reaction... has anyone else out there had this experience, from either side? I really just want to understand why she would be so ANGRY at me. Unfortunately, this has ruined our friendship, as she said some things that just can't be un-said. Please help me to understand!

 

Mindy - October 31

Your sister has no right to be mad. She should be happy for you. Maybe she thinks you are going to take away the spot light from her or maybe she might have more things going on that she has not told anyone yet. You need to try to keep the relationship open and find out what is bothering her. If she is not ready to talk then just wait it out and like I said keep that relationship open on your end.

 

mama-o-one+ - October 31

Yes, she has outright said I had no right to take away this special time from her, as this may be her last child, and her childs "umbillicle won't even be dry before I go popping out a baby". The friendship part is definately over, just because she verbally attacked me in a long, thought out e-mail.. attacked my character, that of my husband ( we rent, don't own... although before the thousands in fertility treatments for our 1st child, we did own, and I am a SAHM, which makes $ tight for us.. although we can afford this child.) and just me in general. She is ent_tled to her opinion, really, but I can't see fighting for a friendship with someone who thinks so negatively of me. The thing is, when I found out, the first real "extended family" thought I had was how great it was going to be to be pregnant with my sister and friend. Now, for the rest of our lives, we will have this thing between us. and it's not just US, but my whole family is on pins and needles over this. Plus, I feel like I can't even really be excited about this baby around them, because they all know of this drama.. and if they act all excited to me when she is arround, it may hurt her feelings. Really, I am just very hurt, and somewhat depressed about this whole thing.. looking for answers, and comfort. My friends WERE my family, so now that I don't have them, I have no one to talk to except my husband.. and he just doesn't understand.

 

mama-o-one+ - October 31

Is there anyone out there that has had something like this happen to them? Either side?

 

Ann - October 31

I am so sorry for you situation. I have tried for about a year and a half to get pg. I went through one m/c and then it took me about five months to get pg again. I am now 11 weeks. My sister has one child, it took her a month to get pg:). She has very nicely waited to get pg again until things worked out with me. But we have talked a lot (my family are also my friends) and I urged her to get pg when it was right for her and not to wait. I am confident that she will be pg before long. I don't see it as something that will take away from me, but rather an experience we can share and I am thrilled that our kids will be close in age. Your sister sounds like she is being selfish and if she really cared about you then she would be happy for you. Please don't let her negativity ruin this experience for you. The more time I spend on this earth, the more certain I become that I need to only surround myself with people who will be positive and productive in my life. Good luck.

 

dear mama - October 31

Your sister is tripping. Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and move along.

 

mama-o-one+ - October 31

I have pregnancy hormones too, and I would never say/do what she did.... and since the rest of the family is reacting in sympathy to her, I can't really "get over" it because I am not really allowed to be happy about it around them.

 

hi - November 1

Sounds to me like your sister thinks you are stealing her spotlight.It's her spotlight she didn't want to share it with you.Sadly she goes on to state her true feelings.Which sounds to me like she thinks she's better than you.Places herself in a higher cla__s in society.Maybe your fertility problems made her feel good about herself.She could take pride in being more fertile.And then here you come even with your problems and manage to get pregnant Again while she has.You see my point?She can't One up you if you conceive near the same times now can see?lol.Think about your relationship with your sister really hard.How many times has she tried to one up you?Some people are only happy for you/with you if they think they have more or better then what you have.From everything you have stated that she has said,sounds to me like she wants to pretend she's better and has better than you.And to tell you the truth the nasty remark about the baby's cord not being dry by the time your baby is born is as trashy as it gets .Your sister might own,have more money,what the hell ever she thinks she has better then anyone,but darlin she lacks in the morals and taste department big time.I wouldn't keep up a relationship just for sake of family.No one needs c___p like that .To you it's a loving relationship,to her it's compet_tion.And that's sad you sound like you have a good heart and would be a great friend.Congrat's on your baby and don't even think about that c___p anymore.Maybe if you got angry and told her where to go and how to get there you might feel better.Either way take care of yourself and don't get upset over others ego's.Sorry this is so long.

 

To Mama - November 1

In all honesty your sister was being way harsh....based on what you have stated she said. My best advice would be to not let her control how you feel. Right now if she is the kind of person she is coming across to be she is getting off on you feeling down etc...I would try as hard as it may be to pick yourself up & and enjoy this happy time w/your husband. Don't even think about her kill her with kindness trust me if works....I had a similar situation with my best friend although not my sister and it took her some time< BUT she came to her senses and has horrible guilt over what she said and did to me...if u even wanna chat it out on messenger or email drop me a line. GOOD LUCK and lots of HUGS

 

mama-o-one+ - November 1

Thank you all for your support in this. It's good to see others would be as bothered by this as I am. As of right now I am DONE feeling guilty about this baby. Wether she supports us or not, my child is coming. She can either get used to the idea and grow up, or she can crawl back in her hole and be mad at me. Thank You!

 

dear mama - November 1

As for your never saying those things, thats because you are not the same people. She is who she is and you are who you are. Enjoy your pregnancy, don't let even your sister steal that from you. Please don't let YOUR pregnancy hormones take over and cloud the issue for you. Start going to a mommy group where everyone is thrilled to pregnant and will support you. You don't need the stress and aggrivation all of this is going to cause you, if you wallow in it.

 

dear mama - November 1

GOOD FOR YOU!

 

A friend - November 1

you might want to alert her that other pregnant women might be in the hospital the same day she gives birth, and her child MAY have to share the same birthdate as someone else. I'm sorry but she sounds pretentious. The THOUGHT ALONE that you would make such a HUGE Decision to bring a child into this world should not be seen through her eyes as a moment to ambush her. doesn't she realize you have the right to raise a family of your own too? My gosh...... Strength, peace and patience to you my friend, for it's going to be a long road ahead...

 

Anne - November 1

Hmmm...did she expect you to ask her permission before you got pg? I agree with hi, who said she's trying to one up you. That's crazy!! You need to be around supportive people at this time and if it's not your sister, so be it. Trust me, I know what having a witch of a sister can be like. Good luck to you!!

 

mama-o-one+ - November 1

Actually, she said I should have called her when I ovulated to let her know that I would be having s_x and might get pregnant. I ovulate maybe 3 times a year without medication. Hubby has MAJOR fertility issues. Cost us thousands to get pregnant the first time. But yes, she did kind of expect me to ask her first. She says I am copying her by getting pregnant when she is.

 

Mindy - November 2

Your sister does sound a little crazy but I would just ignore her feeling towards this and go on with life. This is your life and you have every right to be excited for your new baby coming. I'm sure alot of people have told her that she is being silly. Sometimes, when sisters are like this you just have to not let this get you down and still have a relationship and be kind to her. Ignore the things she says that hurt, she will get over it and hopefully relize she is being an idiot. Show your family that you don't want to fight with her. In the end you will be looking like the stronger one and she will look like a silly person.

 

i think - November 2

That is insane ,i do believe i have heard it all now.The disrespect your sister is giving you is beyond words.If she is so concerned You are copying Her then why does she have HER nose all up in YOUR s_x LIFE?????Give me a break tell that little cry baby to shut up and deal with it.She could have chose any month to get pregnant ,she's miss fertile.You get 3 times a year.Of all her 12 times of possible pregnancy why did She get pregnant near one of your 3???LoL.Crazy but you can turn that argument around on miss thing.Hun i beleive babies are a blessing from God.And for your fertility issuies to be so severe it's truly a miracle.Don't ever doubt that .And don't worry about your sister it would be like fighting a 2yr. old.take care and be happy :)

 

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